MY MINIONS

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violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Friday, June 3, 2011

This Will Melt The Coldest Heart

The 10 Commandments From a Pet's Point of View

  • My life is likely to last 10-15 years; any separation from you will be painful for me. Remember that before you buy me.
  • Give me time to understand what you want from me; don't be impatient, short-tempered, or irritable.
  • Place your trust in me and I will always trust you back. Respect is earned not given as an inalienable right.
  • Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment; I am not capable of understanding why. I only know I have been rejected. You have your work, entertainment, and friends, but I only have you.
  • Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice and your tone. You only have to look at my tail.
  • Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget it, and if it's cruel, it may affect me forever.
  • Please don't hit me. I can't hit back, but I can bite and scratch, and I really don't ever want to do that.
  • Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate, or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right foods or I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak. It may be I am just dog-tired.
  • Take care of me when I get old. You too will grow old and may also need love, care, comfort, and attention.
  • Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch" or "Let it happen in my absence". Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember, regardless of what you do, I will always love you.

4 comments:

  1. absolutely loved that...where did you get that? I love dogs i have 8 lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks, I just went and gave my babies a big hug and in return a tongue in the ear LOL

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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