MY MINIONS

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Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Monday, February 27, 2012

Kitchen Dungeon Update

So, I promised y'all pictures of the finished cabinet and drawer fronts from the psycho kitchen renovation. Well here they are kids. Let me tell you, David was completely anal about how they all came out. The whole thing had to be perfect. I mean to tell ya he was constantly sanding and then painting and then sanding that and then painting and then sanding and then ... well you get the jist of it. He's fucking anal about making sure what he does comes out perfect. And it did. The paint job inside and out is so smooth, shit, it's just like a baby's butt.

http://canwehaveanewwitchoursmelted.blogspot.com/2011/07/kitchen-dungeon-update.html

Y'all need to check out the old pictures on the link above of the kitchen before the renovation and then look at these pictures below. It's a great big fucking change. It's very bright in the kitchen now with the lights placed in the ceiling and the lighter color in the cabinets. We should be finished when David gets the income tax refund. So here are the pictures I promised.
The place where the microwave oven is used to be that fugly green oven. We put shelves and made it an open area for my pots and pans and bakeware


The purple bottle is there for reference. The ceilings are like 15 feet high.
I also asked David to put me up a rap area for foil and plastic raps under the cabinet. Very handy.

When we get rid of the counter tops the puke yellow sink will go too and be replaced with stainless

I drew the blinds on the window to cut out the light from outside to  give you an idea  of how bright  the lighting is.
I had David move the island over against the wall near the door to give an idea how big the kitchen is. To me it's just perfect.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Another Day of Putrid Brown Stuff

I have been living in this sort of dull dumbing funk for weeks lately. And NO, it's not Pinterest, Fucking PLEASE already. I think it's probably that lousy time of the year when everyone get's what is called Spring Fever. You just want to sleep all day and night. But I can't. I have to feed the puppies and David Yeppers, that has to be it. Fucking Spring Fever!!

David get's his colds and then breathing problems because of all the Pecan blooms about this time. He is just getting over his bout with the yearly cold. So I'm guessing the pecan trees in our yard will bloom next week. I called the doctor for his Albuteral inhalers. So I'll have David swing by the Pharmacy to pick them up along with my prescription for my pain meds. I love Spring but I hate what it does to David. He has such bad allergies.

If you don't get this, then I can't help you.
Speaking of pain in the ass, I see my Orthopedic Comedian on Tuesday morning for another round of poking and prodding and general all around contortionist bending of my new knees. That should be a laugh riot. I walk in there fine. I of coarse take my cane with me cause when I walk out of his office I'm practically hobbling in major pain. I think the man is secretly a sadist or he's an S&M freak.

I do feel so much better during the day though, when I'm awake that is. I've been doing some resetting of the kitchen cabinets and drawers. I'm making it more ergonomic to move around without having to walk across the kitchen to get something. I also need to get some drawer and cabinet plastic  to put down before I put the stuff back into the cabinets.

I'll be showing the finished work David did of the kitchen on Monday. Everything looks so fucking bright in there it's like I'm blinded when I turn on the lights. All we have now is the counter top, back splash, bamboo flooring, and painting to do. David wants to let Home Desperate do the installation of the counter top. That way they are responsible for goofs.



Has anyone seen the previews for The Hunger Games yet? It's going to be an awesome movie. I've read the first and second books of the trilogy. The movie comes out March 23. There will be a sequel on November 22, 2013. I'm wondering if the second and third books will be that one.


The other books in the Trilogy are #2 Catching Fire and #3 Mockingjay. I had a hard time putting down the first one. So I'm wondering what the second and third will be like.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

It's Absolutely Shameful

I'm in trouble. Yes, and I need help, but sadly there is none for me and those like me. I *heavy sigh* am a Pinterest Pinhead. Yes, *hanging my head in shame* yes, *heavy heavy sigh* I admit it. I am desperate for help. I have been known to spend hours, days, and sometimes weeks doing nothing but looking and pinning on Pinterest.

I have nothing really against Pinterest. That place is fucking great! It's been called the Fantasy Football for women. I mean where else can a woman spend time planning her dream wedding over and over again, differently each time. Then there are the recipes for things I never knew existed and things I want to try but might never get the chance.  Places I wished I could travel to. Gardens to plan with secret gardens within them behind stained glass doors  covered in vines and roses. Fuck me running I LOVE Pinterest!!!

I've been told countless times by my friends on Facebook. That they are worried that I am not on there as much as I used to be. They wonder if I'm going to drop my FB account.  Sorry my dears. But momma has a new gig and she's happy with it. So now If you'll excuse me I have some pinning to do.

Friday, February 17, 2012

It's Friday Dammbit!!!!


Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguinson the ice in Antarctica? Where do they go?
Wonder no more ! ! !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life. 
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow." 

Then, they kick him in the ice hole.



Fun Stuff Friday

I didn't have too much to do yesterday so I started surfing around for fun stuff. Look what I found!

Cuddle Barn's Animated Justin Beaver Plush Toy Sings "Baby" by Justin Bieber. 


Then I found the perfect Rubik's cube for Blondes. Yes, it's pink on all six sides so solving time won't take a lifetime for them.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy VD Day

For all you single Valentines out there

For us poor married bastids

Monday, February 13, 2012

Okay I'm a Dog Lover, So What!

This video is from Moscow, Russia. There are some very interesting stories of the dogs of the underground. They ride the subways and beg for food or just sleep on the trains. Go  check them out if you love dogs. http://englishrussia.com/2009/04/07/smartest-dogs-moscow-stray-dogs/

Saturday, February 11, 2012

An Excursion To The Vet's

Lucy my mushy faced little brat
It's been Lucy's time to go. David and I had been talking about it for days now. I know that she knows that we have been talking about it. She's been hiding when she can because she thinks at any moment we will be whisking her little fuzzy ass off to the Vet.

Well this morning we took her in my car. She was in the back seat whining all the way.
"It's cold back here. Let's stop for a cappuccino at Chiro Java's. Does this harness make my ass look big?" And on and on  and on like a little Jewish Princess, I swear!

When we got to the Vet's she wanted David to pick her up, then she wanted down, then back up in his arms , then down again. She was acting like a nut case. I finally grabbed her up and kept her on my lap until the nurse called us in.

She was all fine until the woman stuck the thermometer up Lucy's butt. David was holding her and Lucy looked at me as if she was saying she was being violated. Poor little Diva. Then the doc came in and Lucy would not look her in the eye. It was hilarious. She turned and hid her face in my elbow area.

Lucy on Squirrel Patrol
So the doc checked her over. She will most likely have arthritis in her right hind leg cause her kneecap was broken at one time and never healed right. We knew that when we got her. Other than that she is fit and not an ounce of fat on her. She got her shots and we took the little brat back home.

What was great about this is Lucy is good for another year and outside chasing squirrels right now with the other two puppies. It's Pebbles turn next month. Oy!!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Friday Funny

This was kinda funny so I had to share it with you. This is a show from the UK, called Fast and Loose.  Someone has to act out the song and the others have to guess it from the movements of the person. Just watch.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

I'm Back

Yeah, it's me again. I just can't stop doing this. It's like a drug. I'm a glutton for punishment. Shit, I may as well resign myself to a life of blogging ...  chained to the computer looking for crap to keep you entertained while I waste away in Margaritaville complete obscurity. Is that a word?? Well I'm back so there. nah nah nah nah nah naaah! ;p


Last year I posted something around in the spring before tax time for all you dog lovers like me. See below.





















Well I filled it out and took in to H&R and they said " Hahahahhaaahahahahhaaaahahaa ... No."

Friday, February 3, 2012

Sorry about the sporadic posting my dear minions. I've been either at the pool or here working out. I haven't had to do anything lately so that puts my ass in a wicked funk you wouldn't believe! Or would you. Well I do know a few of you would understand what I'm saying.

I'm going on my second year in a couple of months of posting on this blog and I feel like seriously quitting. I really started it to keep myself and a few of you that wander into my trap entertained. I could be pulling wings off flies now and then but this was mainly to keep me out of trouble.

I've been having trouble sleeping again and I'm getting so fucking moody that I feel like one day I might do something I may regret. I've been very snappish with poor David. I hate hurting his feelings. I love that man sooooooo fucking much! I have been having crying jags lately because I can't go back to work for at least another four to six months. I know it's my depression creeping in again. I've been pretty damned great about keeping that filthy bitch at bay. Goddess! Why am I saying all this shit!!  I need to go away for a while. Sorry my minions.
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