MY MINIONS

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Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My Schedule, The Jail Called, And Telemarketer Pranks

My friends and lurkers, I'm sorry I didn't post my Crazy Witch's Daybook entry yesterday but I wasn't up to par. I overdid the house work on Saturday and then on Sunday it was yard work that did my dumb ass in. I hurt my back again and now I'm paying for it big time. I was stuck in bed all day yesterday. I only had a teensy bit of a chance to read a few blogs before the bod gave out.

Right now I'm floating high on four of my pain killers. Feels pretty good but good don't last forever around here. David has made me promise not to do any house work and stay in bed today. HA!! Like that's gonna happen.

Anywho, I wanted to let you all know about the posting schedule for this crummy little blog of mine so some of you will know what days you want to come online to read it.

Monday:  Crazy Witch's Daybook

Tuesday: Open writing for anything that's on my sick twisted mind or Tickle Me Tuesday, which is basically anything to do with funny dogs  or other animal pictures.

Wednesday: Is Wet Dog Wednesday, which will be dog pictures, dog care and rescue. I'm a big advocate for dog rescue.

Thursday: Is What They Think Thursday or more open writing.

Friday: Will be Funny Demotivational Friday or Funny Friday, which will be a joke or funny picture.

Saturday: Will be Silly Thoughts Saturday, which will be just that, silly thoughts from my demented brain or a funny picture I found.

Sunday: Is now Funny Religious Shit, that I changed from Christian Shit because I'm running thin on their stuff.

So now you all know when to come visit  BWAHAHahahahahahahahaaasnort !!

So back to me. This morning I was in the shower letting the blinding HOT water as David calls it hit my lower back when the phone rang. I got out of the shower, I bring the phone with me when I go anywhere in the house cause David is always checking up on me, dried off and answered it. There was an automated woman's voice saying there was a call for me from the Baxer (pronounced Bear) County Jail from some guy named T***. 

First off, I don't know anyone by that name, let alone anyone in the San Antonio Baxer County Jail. So I hung up, fast. Then I wished I hadn't done that. I could have fucked with T***'s dumb ass and made my morning. But NOOOOOOoooooooo! My good side had to hang up the phone and piss off my bad side today. 

So now I'm stuck waiting for some poor unsuspecting sucker to call and unleash the beast. Do you know just how hard it is for me to wait all day for that to happen? Probably not. But it's very hard on me. Yes, yes it is. I'm just dancing inside my head waiting for that one telemarketer from India to call me and say in his thick Indian accent that his name is Eric, calling from Microsoft and want's access to my computer so he can find a certain problem that has been plaguing all Microsoft users and then sell me some lame computer program. OH YES!!! You're my PUPPY NOW!! I dare your dumb ass to call me today. I just double dog dare you!

You need to know something that David does to me when he's home. It's nothing kinky so get your mind out o' the gutter. Jeeze, bunch of slime balls!
Anywho, David will screen the callers when he's home. If by chance it's a number we don't know he will answer it and put the caller on speaker so I can hear it. He let's the poor slob go on and on with the sales pitch and then laugh and hang up.

That's how I know about the callers from India. The phone ID shows some INSANE thirty digit number. Last time they called I played the stupid computer owner. I was nowhere near my computer but the conversation sure was fun. I wasted a good portion of an hour with him. He was mad and I was laughing so hard when I hung up that I pee'd my pants.

But this guy, Tom Mabe is like the King of Pranking the Telemarketers. I might pull something like this next time Eric calls.
BWAAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAAAsnort!!!


6 comments:

  1. I hate that you took four painkillers and your writing mechanics and spelling are perfect. Wait, is that how you spell perfect? Purfect. perfeck-shit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gemmi- the word is spelled purghickt. Okay?
      I'm fine now but I do need to up the anti on the pain killers. My back is killing me.
      But in all fairness, it took me almost three hours to write this blog post. Had to reread this it something like 5 or 6 times before releasing it. Then I crashed.

      Delete
    2. Hoooookay!!! Made a fucking mess of that reply didn't I.

      Delete
  2. I'm sorry you're feeling bad (or will when the painkillers wear off). This had me laughing my ass off though - and it inspired me. I was going to send you the audio you posted at the end.

    "Oh - shit, this reminds me of that guy who told the telemarketer he called a crime scene. I wonder if I can find the clip again...oh. There it is."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Feel better soon! Back pain is a bitch! Stay in bed please, so you can be back in your regular hummingbird mode in no time! Sending lots of love and healing thoughts your way!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I would have definitely accepted the call. I know too many people that could have been in jail anywhere in the country. It just takes a bottle of tequila and four wheels.

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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