MY MINIONS

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Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Flu: Day 4

Well, so far I've lost 14 lbs on the Flu Diet. Yes!  I know! Right? This is so awesome! I've been living on tea and toast for 4 days and my stomach muscles hurt like I've done a million situps like that's ever gonna happen.  My back hurts, oh hell, everything hurts. I  hate staying in bed, but it's the only place I feel good and safe because I'm so close to the bathroom.

Anywho, somehow I must have known I was going to get sick because when David did the grocery shopping, shopping with David is like shopping with the Game Warden, he won't let me do it because it's like I buy everything that isn't nailed down, he bought soup and canned chili and stuff that he could easily make for his dinner. He bought everything we would need to keep in stock in case we got sick. David said I must be psychotic psycho psychedelic  psychiatric OH SHIT!  I can tell him what's in the short term future!!! And I'm usually right. But let me try as I might use that little talent to make some money on the lottery, and it's all blown to crap. I can never catch a break.
So now, I've been drifting around the house while my nurse, Lucy, snores at the top of her tiny lungs in my side of the bed because it's where I was lying and I left it to get some tea and toast and returned to find her in my warm spot. She refuses to move and is faining death. So I'll let her sleep, then when I finish this I'll go roust her out of my spot in bed and enjoy the warmth she left for me.
Really it's not all that cold outdoors. Only 62 and sunny. We are expecting rain according to my back. Probably later today or tomorrow. But I feel so cold. I have PJ's on and a blanket wrapped around me and my Killer Bunny slippers on. My hair is a mess and I have a red nose from blowing it so much. I'm a lovely sight to behold. David has stayed away because he doesn't want to catch this. I really haven't seen him in a few days. The only ones that love me because I'm Mommy are the puppies. They have been sleeping at the bottom of the bed all day and night and only leave to go outside or eat when David calls them. Otherwise, they are keeping me company.




3 comments:

  1. That is an impressive weight loss! It took me 3 months to lose that much.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, that British Porn gif is TOO funny! Yeah, baby, yeah, oh so warm and wet -- fill up my cup!

    *ahem*

    Man, that flu is really kicking your ass, isn't it! But glad to hear you're on the road to recovery and enjoying quality time with the pups.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sounds like you have Flying Monkey disease. A pizza might make you feel better.
    the Ol'Buzzard

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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