MY MINIONS

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Count Down To:

Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Monday, June 30, 2014

Day 1 Of My Incarceration

My first day of incarceration, against my will. I woke up this morning at 8:30 to the smell of gasoline in the house. Just lovely, right? David was changing the oil in his truck and cleaned his hands with it. The odor woke me from a deep sleep and I nearly gagged. He's sitting in the media room watching Goddess knows what on TV. It's a Syfy movie of some sort with a LOW budget and has no less than three porn nymphets looking to break into the real world of acting biz. Yeah.

Anywho, I'm sitting here in the living room so he won't bother me while I blog, read and surf the net. Otherwise, I'm trying to stay sane this week and the only way to do it and not be charged with murder, is to find little hiding places around the house. If need be, I'll steal my own car that I shouldn't drive because of the painkillers, but if I have to, I'll drive to the park nearby and hide there for an hour or two, maybe five.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Why Me!


Yeah, this is how I look and feel right now. David just told me his week long vacation starts on Monday. yay!   
Anywho, I am in the throws of WTF. I need to make a looooooong list of shit for him to do in order to stay out of my way and above all not bother me. Maybe pulling weeds. Otherwise, I may have to invest in duct tape and lots and lots of rope.
NO!!!  REALLY!!!
I'm not kidding here. I am totally serious about this.

If the sexy beast asks me just once where do I want this or that item put, I WILL HURT HIM, bad, and it won't be pretty. Also, there will not be any daytime crap TV. Just sayin . . .



Thursday, June 26, 2014

I Just Saw Our Future

Yes! I can't believe it, but I saw David's and my future flash before my eyes while watching Good Morning America this morning. I saw what David and I will be doing 20 years into the future. It's just a tidbit but its really us in that picture. Click on the picture above or watch the video below for the story. These two lovely people are just too cute. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAHAAA! snort! 
REALLY!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Lawyer Joke




A  very  successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of
his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
  As   he was getting out, a truck came barreling down the road, drifted right and
completely tore off the driver's door.  Fortunately, a cop was close
enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the now door-less Porsche
with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming
hysterically about how his precious Porsche, which he had just purchased the
day before, was completely ruined and no matter how any car body shop tried
to make it new again,  would never be the same. 

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief,
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said, "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life." 

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. 

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing?  It was severed
when the truck hit you!"

  "OHH, MY GOD!"  screamed the lawyer. . .   "My Rolex!"

Monday, June 23, 2014

I'm back

Okay I'm back as you can see. I had thoughts of quitting this blogging thingy so many times the past week and a half, but I got bored again. So I'm back. Yay.
These turned orange this morning, will be ripe by tomorrow- big as my hand
Lots of things have happened. We have had so much fantastic rain that veggies are coming out the wazoo. David can't believe how many BIG tomatoes that are ripening, and the cucumbers too. He counted 23 tomatoes on one bush yesterday and five of them will be ripe by tomorrow. Yes! That fast. Think I'll be canning a bit this coming weekend for sure. David is just going crazy with this mini farming thing. Last year we had the tomato plants in pots in the courtyard and he was excited when he got his first tomato. We only harvested three off that one tomato plant. So you can see why he's all crazy about this idea about having above ground planting beds.
A cucumber I picked for our salad last night
Everything is so green that it hurts your eyes. I love it! Check out the front yard pics I took last week.
front side of the yard with morning glories and pecan tree which is full of  green pecans now

front left front of yard with roses, gardenia, geraniums and part of the porch


White Texas Wisteria climbing up the front of the house over the living room window.
Keeps the front rooms cool in the summer. In the green planter hanging are two begonias that are supposed to hate the sun, go figure. They like it fine.
Front right of porch with roses, gardenia, and geraniums

Tiger Cannas in pot on the left actually bloomed this morning. The Cannas on the right next to the Mock Orange tree bloomed last week when I took this picture, is still in bloom in the courtyard.

Cannas bloom up close and personal

miniature roses I keep outside next to the back door in the courtyard

Pink miniature roses in courtyard

My red and pink geraniums and small pink flowers of the begonia in the back.
Taken on my front porch

 more pink and red geraniums from the front porch

As you can see, so much green it hurts your eyes. If it weren't for the occasional flower I'd go blind.



Wednesday, June 18, 2014

This is just a little bitty note to let y'all know that I've just gotten over a bad time and I'll be back on track by Monday. Everything is fine so don't worry. 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

More Plant Porn Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow

First, before we get to the plant porn and other things, I owe all of you (my readers) an apology. YES, yes I do. I apologize for not being here and writing or posting anything for the past week or was it two weeks. Whatever, I'm so sorry for leaving you all in the glitch. I've been negligent in posting because I just couldn't make it out of bed sometimes. Yes I blame it on me. I've been down in the dumps lately and it's kinda hard to shake when everything is fucking with you. So, I'm so sorry.
Robin Hood Hedge
 Now on to the other shit. Everything is going great guns in the plant world around here. I have both hanging baskets with my begonias going nuts. This weekend I'll have to fertilize everything under the sun and in the shade too. The robin hood hedge roses are growing crazy wild in their corner. I really didn't expect them to grow at all, but they seem to have thrown that in my face.
Up close and personal with the robin hood hedge


The picture above is the front porch. Knock Out roses are going great as always. The two smaller light green bushes next to the steps are my favorite Gardenias. They are covered with flower buds that should bloom in a few days. The smell from them at night coming into the bedroom window will be unbelievable. I'll have to get pictures of them when it happens.

I moved the cannas from the front yard area under the pecan tree last week. I replanted them in pots and put them in the courtyard. the sunshine is so much better there for them. I'll post pictures of them next week, but these are what they looked like when I replanted them. Poor things are pretty beat up and sickly looking.


In their place along the fence we planted morning glories in every color available. I cant wait to see what comes of that. This is a picture of where we got the cannas from and where the morning glories are coming up now. They're going great guns too so I will be posting a new picture of them also.
                 
morning glories where the cannas where planted
 We lost our four bougainvillea plants to the frost this winter and that means I will be on the lookout for some pretty ones again. This time I won't plant them outside. I'll just leave them in their hanging baskets and bring them inside during the cold temperatures.

The veggie garden is going crazy. David and I didn't count on the tomatoes and cucumbers going great gonzos but they proved us wrong. They seem to like the sun pattern there. They get the morning sun and shade shields them from the hot sun in the afternoon, . I'll be posting pictures of them by next week too.

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