MY MINIONS

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Computer Error

Computer Error

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Start With A Joke

OH Oh! Before you go any further reading today's mess, I have a joke for y'all.

Marriage Humor

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing . . . ? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I'm looking for the expiration date."


If this didn't at least make ya smile, then I give up on this job.
SEED PORN
Anywho, LOOK! Seed Porn! YES! I got like seven catalogs of seed porn in the last 3 days. It's magnificent! These guys find out you like seed porn . . . it's like a virus! It just keeps coming in the mail like forever. 
Notice the escaped chicken behind the counter
Okay, on to not so better things. I am having a cooking crisis. I can't seem to cook at all this week. Everything that I have made for dinner has ended up really nasty. Last night was the last straw. The salt shaker came apart and the whole thing ended up in my meatloaf as I was blending it in the mixer. I use sausage meat and lean hamburger and blend it together with my Kitchenaid mixer using the big paddles. That way things get sufficiently mixed together. Well, there was no way to save that so it ended up in the trash and I had to go shopping and get everything to start over. 
Things seemed to go great. Until, yeah, the oven timer refused to work properly. The meat loaf burned, the baked potatoes burned. The built in oven timer was stuck on the first minute and didn't turn the oven off when it was supposed to. I have used that oven timer so many times before and everything would turn out perfect. The oven would turn off and the timer would let me know with the alarm. My meatloaves and casseroles would always come out perfect. Not dry, nothing over or undercooked. 

My cool oven timer from Amazon
I can still use the stove and the oven, I just have to check on things and use my old timer that I used with the previous oven before we replaced it with the new one. Remembering to carry it around with me fucking sucks.

So, I give up on cooking for the rest of this month. David will just have to eat dinner from a can. I'm not taking any more chances this week. I'm making canned chili tonight. Nothing flashy. Heating everything in the microwave oven. I blame this past week on the Mercury retrograde direct station. Don't understand that? Google it! Poke me, I'm done!


7 comments:

  1. I bet even Gordon Ramsay has a cooking disaster every once in a while!

    ReplyDelete
  2. And you know what those poor chefs on Chopped go through every stinking time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally understand Mercury in Retrograde....and I am soooo over it.
    Lacking cooking inspiration, we have omelets
    I have been reading your blog for a while, 1st time commenting. Miss you when you are gone!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Damn that Mercury in Retrograde!!! If it makes you feel better my "Pinterest" lunch today so sucked! Like I cannot get the nasty taste out of my mouth and Ive scrubbed my teeth 3 times! I agree with the Happy Crone ...when all else fails breakfast saves the day ! ~ Blessings Angela

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  5. Two nights ago I made ginger chicken and it was excellent. Last night I made fried rice with the leftovers and it was nasty. Part of the problem was the rice. A friend gave us some white jasmine rice. I have not had white rice in years. It was gross and heavy like glue. From now on I will be sticking with brown rice.

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  6. At first I was like, "Done for the rest of the entire month!?!" Then I realized there are only a few days left in January and realized you were having a much more reasonable fit. As the primary cooker in my house, that sounds incredibly frustrated and I deeply empathize with you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Throw a cheap beef roast in the slow cooker with a can of diced tomatoes. Set it on high and when you can shred it with a fork it's done. Instant mashed potatoes with chopped onions and minced garlic and a can of green beans for a no sweat supper - with left overs for the next day.
    the Ol'Buzzard

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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