Thursday, January 10, 2019

This is Why I Can't Have Nice Things

David told me last night that this year he was thinking of getting a couple of flamingo yard thingies. I looked at him all of a sudden realizing he forgot about the little tiff we had about flamingos a few years ago. I just stared at him. He looks back at me and asks, "what?"
I said, "I told you if we get flamingo yard ornaments it will be my way."
He completely forgot our previous argument. I couldn't believe he was bringing this up all over again.
I said, "David? Hon? We will only have flamingos my way. That's it, end of story. I told you those pink trailer trash lawn ornaments will not grace our lawn. Not no way. Not no how. End. Of. Story. Kaputt!"
"Okay," he countered.
"No! No okay about it. No. Not unless you let me have what I want."
He thought silently and carefully about what he was going to say because if he agreed to my demands he was going to lose this fight no matter what. I was not going to allow those ugly birds on the lawn. NO. WAY.
"So what will it take to work this out? I really want to get a couple of pink flamingos to dress up the yard. I'm serious," he then sighed, crossed his arms, leaning against the kitchen counter. I looked at him and smiled my evil smile.
"I will let you have them but it will be my way. I want my statues too."
We are at an impasse in our negotiations. He won't let me have my statues and I won't let him have his. So this is the reason why I can't have nice things in the yard. David just has no class.


anne marie in philly said...

I have the pink flamingos in my yard. I love them. and I ain't trailer trash, just a suburban homeowner with a 1950s home.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I love those trolls (?) dismembering the flamingo! Why would David NOT want that on the lawn?

jaz@octoberfarm said...

they are totally tacky!

Sooo-this-is-me said...

I was laughing so hard at the pictures of the flamingos but I completely lost it at the zombie gnomes! I love your sense of humor.

Theresa said...

LOL, You have reminded me just how much I want monsters carrying off a gnome! If I remember correctly those dang things are expensive little exterminators.

The JR said...

hahaha, too funny.

I hope ya'll have a happy weekend.

Ol'Buzzard said...

Zombie Gnomes...
the Ol'Buzzard

Leanna said...

Because he says he doesn't have a sick mind like I have. Incidentally, those zombie gnomes will be mine. Oh yes. Yes, they will be mine.

Leanna said...

Yes! Yes they are. But what I really want are the Zombie Gnomes.

Magic Love Crow said...

You two are so cute! LOL!

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