Friday Funny

LOOK!!  Dumb and Dumber

A good ol' East Texas boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing. He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with that? There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."

He says, "I won it and I'm a-gonna keep it."

His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.

She says, "He's out there in his bass boat," pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother in the middle of a big field sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand .
He yells out to him, "What are you doin'?"

His brother replies, "I'm fishin'. What does it look like I'm a doin'?"

His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from East Texas a bad name, makin' everybody think we're stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!"

Friday Funny

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
 One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
 "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears.  I love you."
The husband texted back to her:   

"I'm on the toilet.    Please advise."