Friday Funny

The Ransome 

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. “I’ve kidnapped you,” said the blonde. She then proceeded to write a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

Friday Funny

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 out west to where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." 

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word".

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that he'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable'.

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister is blonde. She'll read it slowly."