Wet Cat Wednesday

Funny Religious Shit

Special Note* David has told me there is a special place for me in Hell. I said, "yes, yes there is. It's called CEO." I plan to have air conditioning installed, date night with chick flick movies like the Notebook, ballroom dancing, etc. When they let/ make me resign, I'll have a nice severance package set up. 

Silly Sign Saturday

Friday Funny

 One day at a clinic, a male patient looked into the nurses eyes and 

said, "Nurses aren't supposed to laugh, right?" 

"Of course I won't laugh. I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty 

years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," he said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the 

tiniest man penis the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it 

couldn't have been bigger than a  AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then almost fell to 

the floor laughing.

A few minutes later she was able to regain her composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On 

my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now

tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," he replied.

The nurse ran out of the room squealing in laughter.

I couldn't help myself. 

I should be shot for this one. I'm shameless, I know.

Ice Balls Cripple San Antonio Yet Again

I'm at the point that I think I've seen and heard everything in life. Just let me fucking die already. This morning I was up before dawn as usual. It was cold as hell and something white was falling outside. All the weathermen on TV were like "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" So the school systems were either canceling school or calling a two hour delay. Yes, yes they did, and all because of this.

This is supposed to be from some sort of  ice storm we had in the early hours around 5 AM. I took these pictures this morning at 10:30 in my garden. As you can see the ice pellets are still fully formed and just as "scary" as they were at 5 AM when they first fell. They look like the white crap you would find in a bean bag chair. There is nothing on the streets. They're dry as a bone, I kid you not. I swear the people in the South just lose their fucking teeny tiny minds when something white falls from the sky.

Don't even get me started on their driving skills in this shit. Most of I-35 was shut down because of stupid drivers. The 1604 in San Antonio was a fucking mess! I should go driving during this weather and turn 360's just to fuck with them. I grew up in this shit in El Paso. I learned to drive in real snow and ice storms. I just love how it can cripple a small city like this.

Wet Cat Wednesday

Tickle Me Tuesday

Yes, it's an old joke but when you have a cartoon about it, it makes it even funnier.

Funny Religious Shit