MY MINIONS

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Thursday, July 31, 2014

Problems

Today I was going to write about the puppies and their antics here at Casa De Loco, but I'm having trouble. My body and mind are in a tail spin of nerve wracking pain. I'm sorry my friends. I do have a joke for y'all tomorrow and I hope you like it. 
Have a great weekend. Love y'all lots.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Gluten Free

I got into a heated discussion over the weekend with a friend all about what is gluten and why do people suffer from celiac disease. He said it was a fake deal, that people are just trying to get sympathy. I had a few choice words for him. Needless to say, I told him to do some research and then we'll talk.

But on the lighter side of things, I'm all for poking fun now and then. So don't hold this against me.







Friday, July 25, 2014

Friday Funny

Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.
Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year  old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night.
The next day, at the Gwinnet County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop.
He explained, "as there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around" he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,  and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.
"Guess I was really  into it, y'know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached  him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Deputy Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's  just humping away at this pumpkin."
Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ...
"I said,  excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said,
"A pumpkin? Shit  ... is it midnight already?"

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10, and sent on his way. The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The best come-back line ever."


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Tuesday Is Monday's Ugly Sister

Yesterday I was much too tired to do anything including schlep my ass to the computer and write. My heart just wasn't in it. Sorry but MS was kicking my ass again all weekend.

David pulled a three day weekender on me last Friday and I was at his mercy. Yes, yes I was. But it didn't last long. I made him go out and mow the lawn, clean the roof off of all those leaves and dead pecan branches, and clean the gutters. He did a great job too! SOOOO proud. Aahahahahaahaaaa!!!

Well, I think you noticed the coffee IV bag. Yeah, that's for me. I need that bag of caffeine bad. David left me a large gift this morning before he went to work. Oh yes. A big mother of a spider that he tried to kill with bug spray. Like that's gonna kill something that fucking big. This spider was from the hood! It had an AK-47 laying next to it and various knives and a machete. YES! A fucking machete the length of my finger nail. Yes! And the spider was still trying to pull itself to safety, screaming for his ol' lady to come to his aide. Yeah, right. Not in my home dude! I grabbed the fly swatter and scooped it up and flicked it to the street. The birds screamed BREAKFAST and had a feast. I would have toasted the bugger, but David won't let me use the Master Blaster anymore. He's afraid I'll lose control and torch the house. He has no confidence in me.
Such an amateur!

Friday, July 18, 2014

Time Off

David has a whole butt load of vacation time still to kill. So he took the day off. He is in the process of kidnapping me and the puppies and we are going to Goddess knows where for the weekend.

Y'all have a great weekend. 
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