Funny Friday

Fat Thug Kitchen!??

So this morning I was polluting the shit out of pollinating my mind with cool shit stuff from The Realm Of The Magical Web when I came upon this shit thing.

Like WTF OMG!! Is this supposed to be from the Fat Thug Kitchen?! Shit Dang!

 

                                                                 

Wet Dog Wednesday

My Brain, It Hurts!!

I'm sorry my friends but I'm not a really big fan of that Bieber kid. I guess it's cause he looks and sounds too much like a girl. Shit I don't know.

This morning I was watching the tornado damage of Oklahoma on various channels. I was flipping innocently through them when I came upon "The Dreaded E Channel". Yeah the one in the same that literally sucks the intelligence right from your brain and turns you into a Walker(zombie).

For some reason my channel changer button stopped working. I slapped the living fuck out of the controller and then beat it to shit but it wouldn't work. I suddenly knew what happened I was sucked into the "E ZONE", que the eerie music.

So I thought maybe the batteries wore out, hee hee. Never you mind. So I went to get fresh batteries. But when I came back ... He was on. The Spawn of Evil Squeaky Girlie Songs. Yes that Bieber kid and his fucking weird hair.

It was an "E Story" of his life so far. Like EWWWWWWWWWWW!! How the fuck did this happen??! I was shouting HURRY BITCH! PUT THE BATTERIES IN BEFORE YOU BECOME WALKER BATE! Yeah, well something like that.

But it was too late. he started singing. My ears began to bleed My eyes where bulging from my skull. I couldn't find the off button so I ran screaming in pain to the kitchen and put my face under water.

After I cleaned off the blood and pushed the brain matter back in through my ears. I quickly ran back to the bedroom and slammed the door shut. The room was now possessed  How would I ever explain this to David.

SHIT!  SHIT!  SHIT!

I waited, fidgeting and pacing in the courtyard. When would it be over. Was it on for one or two hours. How long can they drag this crap out? It was after two hours that I finally decided it was safe to re-enter the bedroom and turn off the TV. But there she was that LOHAN WOMAN!

OH MY BRAIN!!   IT HURTS!!   THE PAIN!!!

The Grizzly Details

About a week and a half ago, I left a note here saying I was going to be out of commission for a while due to back problems. Part of that was true. In fact I still do have lower back and sciatic pain and I'm taking pain killers for that. But I also had a brief bout with kidney pain too.

I have been fighting a bladder infection off and on for over a year now because the nurses cathed me when I was in the hospital for my left knee replacement. That's how I caught the bitch of a bug and she just won't go away no matter what I hit her ass with. Well I finally thought I got rid of it when the kidney pain started. Yeah, the bitch moved on up, to the East Side, as the song goes. I went to my family doctor and he ran a UA and blood tests and said I had a UTI, No Shit Sherlock! So he gave me antibiotics and sent me home. This was Wednesday.

Well about 12 hours later I was pissing blood. Not too much but just enough to make me take notice and call my doctor's cell to which he said get to the hospital. Mind you this was a bit scary. They took me in the ER right away because my doctor alerted them. I was put in bed with IV's in both arms, which I thought was a little too much. You only see this crazy shit on HOUSE.

They flushed out my system and gave me some heavy duty butt kicking antibiotics. I was there for about 4 days before I got antsy and they sent me home with bed rest and more antibiotics.

I'm okay now. I'm completely off caffeine. No cola's, no tea, no coffee, and no sugary drinks, just plain water to drink. My kidney doctor, I'll call him that cause that's what he does, Said I have to drink approximately 1500 to 2000 ml's ( 8 to 10 - 8oz glasses) of water a day. So that means my beloved coffee and tea went to my neighbor's home. She'll enjoy it. It's good stuff.

A few things about all this, I have never been so fucking tired in my whole life. I slept more than I would if I was sleep deprived. The UA blood was just a tiny bit. I never bled anymore after that episode. All tests proved negative for Kidney Disease. So that means I'm safe for now - if I take good care of myself. I go this Friday for final blood and UA  tests to see if all is good with my world. We shall see.

Funny Religious Shit

Saturday's Science Lesson

Quick Note

I'll be posting all the grizzly details about my pseudo vacation for the past week and a half on Monday. Yes, inquiring minds want to know.

Funny Demotivational Friday

David lives for that "kaCHUNK" noise.

BWAAAHAHAHAAHAHAAAHAAHAAAA!

I think I'm back. But not too sure at this moment. You see, I been sick. As in left kidney infection sick.

Yeah, at first I thought it was just a severe back ache. I was in bed for a couple of days with the heating pad on and off and then it got worse.

So bad that I was in the hospital for a few days. I won't go into too many details and bore the shit out of y'all.  Just be happy that I don't torture you today. BWAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAHAAAA!