MY MINIONS

Halloween Begins

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Tough Shit Tuesday

I just got back from the Orthopedic Comedian's office. He said i was w a y ahead of myself  in getting through my recovery. The workouts at the pool and the home exercises, not to mention all your great prayers are helping. He was very happy in the outcome. But I will have to come back to see him in four weeks.

In a way it made me happy that I am doing so well, but I am so depressed that I'm not getting the sleep I so desperately need. The pain is absolutely unreal at night. I was crying on the way home. Thank the Goddess David was driving.

I did see something though that made me laugh. I don't know if any of you remember the bling week I had back in 2010 but this was the first item of bling I found on the web that weekend, check the blog for it. I'll wait ...
http://canwehaveanewwitchoursmelted.blogspot.com/2010/08/whole-week-of-bling-first-item.html

Well I saw a little VW Bug with a set of the lashes on it. A middle aged woman was driving it and all I could say was, "You go girl!" It was just the cutest thing. It got David's attention too. I asked if I could have a set with the rhinestone bling to go with it. He said he has to drive my car too. He didn't want to be laughed at. That's just the wet shits.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Just A Stupid Update

UGH!!! The past two days have been like farting shit balls.  It's been dreary and wet outside and I just love that kind of weather. It just doesn't love me. It has made the tissues on the sides and the backs of my knees swell up so bad that I walk like Frankenstein's Mutha.

Yepper's, I'm walking all stiff legged around the house. I just need to hang my arms out in front of me and well you get the picture. It was pretty funny when I was trying to get down the stairs in the front yard to get the mail. All stiff legged and ... ummm you get the picture.

Anywho I feel a whole lot better today.  I see my Orthopedic comedian on Tuesday next week and I intend to ask him if my knee area is going to swell up like this every time bad weather hits. If so I want better drugs. The Hydrocodone 7.5's were not working during that time and I was forced to take some Darvocet I had stashed away. It wasn't a good thing. I was really hoping to find some of my secret stash of hash but that didn't happen. I was so fucking pissed from the pain these past two days that David pretty much kept his distance, so did my appetite.

So now I'm hungrier than a bear. Thank the Goddess that I don't feel like making anything to eat. I'll wait till dinner. I'm making BBQ chicken for David and Kung Pao chicken with rice and home made veggy egg rolls for me. I always have to make him something different when I cook what he calls Bow Wow, Meow Meow. He hates Oriental food. To bad. Most of it is very good for you.

Well, I need to get changed and schlep my fat ass over to the Wellness Center to work out the rest of this stiffness in my legs in that nice heated pool of theirs.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Crazy Witch's Daybook

My mood is: My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)  We have some rainy weather out here so it makes me this way. I love rain. The sound, the smell. It makes everything clean.

What I heard this morning:  We found out that a Trader Joe's is coming to San Antonio. Well wuptyfuckingdoo. Everyone is happy about it like it was the Foodie Mecca of grocery stores. Big fucking deal! So what! I don't see any point in shopping in a store that has over priced goods.

Marty the Shed God
What I'm doing: Laundry and cleaning. This weather makes me crazy. So I have to compensate in some way to use up the excess energy. I was going to go outside and cleanup the courtyard but the rain says otherwise.

David is a messy builder. He likes to leave his toys all over in the courtyard area. So I have to pick them up and put the back in his work shed. That means I have to encounter the Shed God, Marty.

What ticks me off: DAVID'S DRIVING!!!!  IT SUCKS!!!!

This past Saturday afternoon, after my anxiety episode, David asked if I would like to take a ride with him to San Antonio. Of coarse I wasn't too sure if I should go but I decided I needed to get out and do this again. I asked him why and he said he wanted to take the LCD TV to get it fixed.

The sucker is a monster and it barely fit into the back seat of my car. When we bought it, we had David's truck to bring it home. Anywho, David drove to the place and we dropped it off for repairs. It was in a mini mall but there just happened to be a ginormous mall next to it. So we were leaving and David is driving around the mall and having to stop at every stinking stop sign.

I asked him if there was anywhere in particular he was thinking of going to.He said he had to get to an access road which he just happened to be skirting in the mall. Yeppers. I said is that the road you are looking for, pointing to his left. He said he didn't think so.

SOOOOO!!  fourteen stop signs later we turned right onto that very road. I just gave him a very long hot stare and didn't say a word. He said right after he put the flames out on his left shoulder that sometimes he should start listening to me. WHAT????  Did I hear that right??!! Shit I wished I had my recorder with me. I really have to take it with me more often.

We were driving along and I asked him why he puts his hands on the very top of the steering wheel. It causes the car to jerk side to side and he has no control. He said he liked it that way. Mmkay I shut up, jerking side to side. After five minutes, I said to pull the car over and let me drive the rest of the way home. He said why, you don't like my driving? Then he said he has never been in an accident in his whole life. At that time we were passing an accident scene. I blurted out that there was always the first time. Besides, I was getting sea sick. Of course he drove the rest of the way home. I didn't talk to him until Sunday morning.
Mental note * Always grab the car keys first or stay home.

What I'm reading: Life Support: Three Nurses on the Front Lines(Culture and Politics of Health Care Work) by Suzanne Gordon. It's basically about three nurses that work at Boston's Beth Israel Hospital. The shit they have to put up with. How they are trying to make it better for other nurses coming into the field by educating doctors about what nursing really is.

When I started reading this book, it reminded me of not only what nurses have to put up with the doctors. But the fact that other health care workers including nurses get no respect from doctors. Reading this book made me realize that it's a shame the way they are treated. I really recommend that you read this book. It will make you want to hug a nurse.

What's for dinner: Since the weather is all grey and rainy out. I think we'll have a salad and Manwiches. David went crazy when I said that I was making this tonight. The man was hoping for sloppy joe's and I love Manwiches so ....

Monday, January 23, 2012

Lawdy, What a Weekend !

I can't believe what all happened this weekend. First, it started Friday night with David taking me out to eat at a new place in town that is still trying to get their shit together. I like going to these places cause I like to let them know where they can improve. The place wasn't all that bad. They have pretty damned good food. They just have a bit of a problem with the wait staff and the fact that they have no liquor license yet. Otherwise it was a great place to eat.

David and I came into the place early and got a good table. We had no problem with anything. Then a party of four came in. Two women and two guys. One of the guys I could tell was gay because he went "Flame On" as soon as he entered. All he could do was complain about everything. They were seated next to me so I heard it all.

He complained about the tables, the chairs being hard wood and too heavy to move. He complained about the paper napkins, the menu items. But when the prima dona found out no booze was being served he grabbed his ginormous sunglasses and put them on and said out loud that he couldn't handle this. Then got up and sashayed out the door like a little princess. His friends were mortified.  They payed for their trouble and left to go find him I guess. Hell I would have kicked his ass.

Then Saturday morning David and I went grocery shopping. I am trying very hard to fight my anxiety problems and this was one of them. We were doing fine. Half the shopping was done and I was feeling good. Then it happened. I was with David in the canned foods aisle and he was looking at the gadgets which happen to line the other side. As I was walking and picking up cans of this and that I turned to put them into the basket but he wasn't there with me. I looked up the other aisle, no David. I went into a panic. When I found saw him in the meat area. I could have killed him.

I threw the cans into the cart and demanded the car keys. He asked why and I told him I wasn't feeling good. He came out later with the goodies and we drove home. I didn't talk to him the whole way home. I was totally furious with him. He knew I was a basket case and he knew not to leave me like that in the store.

When we got home I went into the bedroom and waited for him to finish putting away the groceries. I didn't feel like helping him with anything. He came into the room and I told him what happened and why I was mad. We didn't have a knock down drag out because we don't like to fight like that. We just talked and he knew he was in the wrong. It really bummed me out. Soooo next week Saturday, he and I are going to try this again. I told him not to go to far from me cause I'm still not ready. I really have to work on this problem though.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Funny Friday



A man returns home a day early from a business trip.  It's after midnight.
While enroute home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.  The man
suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the
act. For $100, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and
cabby tip-toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks
the blanket back, and there is his wife in bed with another man!

The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.  The wife shouts, "Don't
do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.  "HE paid for the Corvette
I gave you.  "HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.  "HE paid for your season
tickets for the Cowboys.
"HE paid for our house at the lake.  "HE paid for our country club
membership, and "HE even pays the monthly dues!"

Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks
over at the cabby and says "What would you do?"

The cabby replies, "I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches
cold."

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Stranger Than Shit

Mmkay, I got my coffee.
This past week has been a strange week for me. I went back to the Wellness Center(WC) to work out in the pool for an hour. It was great getting back into the swing of things but getting into the pool was a weird feeling.

When I got into the water my knees felt like they were pockets of jello and air. Now, I know there are metal pieces in there, but DAYUM!! It felt like air. It was also hard to walk in the pool cause my knees came up so easily. Such a strange feeling. But I did get one hell of a workout that was 10 times better than being out of water.

When it was time for me to get out, I was dreading it. You know that heavy ton of bricks feeling you get? Well to keep from getting it I took one step out of the pool and paused then another step out and paused. I didn't have that feeling at all. But walking was still a pain in the ass. Thank the Goddess my cane was near by.

Sheeeeeeeee's Baaaaaaack!!!

Yeppers, the one woman that gives "Jersey Wup Ass" it's name is back. If you don't know who I'm talking about, I'm sorry. She, aka Dark Mother, now The Hippy Jersey Devil is back with her snarky assed blog. Yep and she can write a mean one too. So welcome back Bitch! We all missed you.

Whoa, after that intro, I don't know what to do. Wait let me get some coffee and I'll be right back.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Tagged, Who Me???

While I was vegging out the past few weeks I was tagged by Keltik. Yeppers, I got tagged. Oh woe is me. Now I have to tell a bit more about my boring ass self. This could be ugly so right now anything I say cannot and will not be used against me in a court of law and all that other legal shit.


The rules are:
1. Post the rules.
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them that you tagged them.
6. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this. You have to legitimately have to tag 11 people.


Mmkay, 11 things about me, random of course.


1. Both David and I are Libras. We think as if we were twins. We don't fight like most couples because of this little quark. We also finish each others sentences. Freaky, I know!


2. I didn't get my drivers license until I was 28. While I was taking the driving portion with the County Mounty, reflecting sunglasses and the hat and everything including attitude and crap. He was busy writing on his clip board and told me to make a right turn right NOW. I was doing about 15mph and the turn was enough for him to loose his glasses, hat and temper in less than 2 seconds. Hey he told me to turn, I turned. If he didn't pay attention it was his fault. But I got my license anyways.


3. I loved Chemistry in college. It gave me a crazy love for baking and making up recipes. David is usually my taste tester. I want the puppies to live so I never let them try anything until David gives the thumbs up.


4. I love my puppies. They are like children in fuzzy pj's with a speech impediment. They have the quirkiest personalities. They always come to me for something and I just tell them to go ask their daddy(David) and they actually run to him. We will sometimes play this game back and forth until they get tired of us and start barking.


5. I suffer from anxiety attacks when I go out alone and/or sometimes with David. I start to shake on the inside really bad. I hate going shopping because of this so I buy most of the things I need from the internet. David now does the grocery shopping because of it.


6. I love to draw and paint. But I won't do it anymore because I'm afraid of someone commissioning something for me to do for them and it will turn out awful. Guess it falls under the anxiety thing I have.


7. I love to drive fast. You might say I have my "low level pilot's license". When David and I go on road trips, he tends to fall asleep. That gives me my chance to run her up to 120 or more. I have done 136 in New Mexico on my way to Cloud Croft. It was fucking awesome!!


8. I suffer from insomnia really bad. I will go 4 or 5 nights without sleep. Then when it's time I will sleep for 24 hours without waking up.


9. I don't drink or smoke anymore. It's been 10 years.


10. I love Pinterest.com . It's like Fantasy Football for women. Bad thing about it is that when you start looking at all the pretty things on that site, you forget about space and time. Before you know it, 4 hours have passed.


11. I am certified crazy. Yeppers, I'm totally schitzoid to the max and have papers to prove it. David knows but he doesn't care cause he says it makes life interesting.


Mmkay, now I have to answer  Keltik's questions.
1.   What is your favorite Season? 
I love spring because that is my time to plant all my flowers.

2.   What is your favorite childhood memory? 

When we were stationed in Germany. My sister and brothers went walking near the orchards of the German farmers. My sister and I were the lookouts and the boys would climb the trees and throw apples and peaches to us to put in our aprons. One day the farmer came out and my sister and I took off running when we saw the gun he was carrying. We didn't tell the boys and they got shot with rock salt in the butt. They couldn't sit for days.

3.   What is your dream vacation?

OMG!!! two weeks in Fiji. No worries, no cares about money.

4.   Who is your favorite fictional character?

Hmmmm, it would have to be Merit from the Chicagoland Vampire novels by Chloe Neill. Merit is a tough little shit when she's fired up. She's crazy in love with her maker, hates her father, loves her grandfathers meatloaf. And she's a chocoholic.

5.   Who was your favorite teacher, and why? 

Prof. McCort. She was my Anatomy and Physiology teacher in college. She made coming to class fun.

6.   Do you have a favorite comfort item;what is it?

I have a fake fur blanket that will fit a king sized bed that I love to snuggle in on really icy cold days. Sucker cost me $600 but it's well worth it. It's a fake fur snow leopard.

7.   If you could be reincarnated as another living creature (non-human) what would
      you be?

I'd be a Boston Terrier.They are so cute and childlike.

8.   Did you have a reoccurring dream as a child; if so, what was it?

Not really.

9.   If you could have any career you wanted, what would it be?

Fighter pilot. "I feel the need for speed!"


10. Do you have a phobia; what is it?
I have several but one is that I hate roaches and really big spiders.

11. What is your favorite movie?

The Devil Wears Prada




Oky Doky Smoky. 11 questions for the people that I tag are:


1. How many animals (dogs, cats, husbands) do you have currently living with you?
2. Have you ever had feelings that you were in a certain place in another life?
3. If you could live in any era in time, who and where would you be? 
4. What would you do if you had $10 million tax free?
5. Do you believe in love at first sight? why or why not. Explain with charts and grafts please.
6. What are your favorite colors?
7. Have you ever talked your way out of a speeding ticket?
8. If you could have plastic surgery, free of charge, what would you have done?
9. Do you like the sea or lake?
10. What do you collect and display in your home?
11. Have any of your dreams sort of come true?


Now, the one's that I'm tagging are:


1.  http://shewhoseeks.blogspot.com/
2.  http://absynthe-and-arsenic.blogspot.com/
3.  http://dancingspatulawand.blogspot.com/
4.  http://merlinsmistress.blogspot.com/
5.  http://heathens-haven.blogspot.com/
6.  http://southerndysfunction.blogspot.com/
7.  http://southernfrieddoublewide.blogspot.com/
8.  http://www.pardonmyblog.com/
9.  http://bridgetsdaughter5.blogspot.com/
10.http://wiccanwrites.blogspot.com/
11.http://yeahgoodtimes.blogspot.com/

Ready or not y'all are tagged.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Busy Shit Saturday

Holy shit-balls Batman!!!  The stuff David and I did in just one morning. Wow! First, he went and bought a new Router, which we dearly needed cause our old one was like farting dust all the time. which lead to upgrading the computers in the media room, including "Little Hal" my mini Hp laptop. So that is done.

My sweet ride -2004 Honda Accord 
Then we both went out and tried to get my car stereo back on. When David took to to get the sticker updated they unhooked the battery which changed the stereo code on the anti theft dealy bopper. Damned Honda!! So we tried to put in the old code but we didn't know the code had changed. What a major bitch! So I called the Honda dealership to see if we could get help without taking the "Rice Burner" down there.

I finally got some asshole cause he acted like it. Yes, I already emailed a scathing hot nasty letter to the manager about their service people.  Anywho, we accessed the new code through the guy and he gave us the new code. Then the bastard hung up on me! No problemo, you'll hear from me shithead. So I put in the new code and it worked. I set David's radio stations "on my car" and then went back inside. It was freezing out there and my legs were hurting.

Then David left for errands "in my car" because he likes all the surround  speakers I have in it. And his music sounds better than in his truck. His excuse to use my car is that it uses less gas. Yeah, whatever!

So now he's out getting my prescriptions and playing around in Wally World. Then he said he will be going to Home Desperate to see about getting side rails for the old kitchen drawers and the pull handles I wanted. So he will be out for at least an hour, which means I can play on "Little Hal" for a bit and write a few posts for Monday and Tuesday.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

2012 Bites!!

So far 2012 is the shits for me. My knees are so freaking swollen from the cold and sometimes wet weather that it's hard to walk or exercise. But I am trying hard to keep going and doing what I need to do. So to let you all know, we didn't get to go on the road trip like I wanted.

David is sooooooo like a freaking mother hen! He took one look at my swollen knees and called off the trip. Instead he took off the whole week to take care of me and work on the cabinets, which are bitchin! The man is talented for sure.

So in between doing my exercises and going on small walks around the yard with him and the puppies, it's been pure fun, yeah right. I am stuck in bed most of the time with my knees up on pillows with ice packs to bring down the swelling. And high on pain killers which most of the time knock me out. The only reason why I'm on the laptop is cause David went to get more paint and some more goodies from Home Desperate Depot. Otherwise, I won't be on unless he takes a slow boat to China.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012


I'm letting you all know that I will be away for  a while. I need time away from this place so David is taking me up to Austin for the rest of the week. I have no freaking idea what we will do up there that we can't do here but we are leaving in an hour. Hope he lets me do some shopping at World Market and the Container Store, Oh and my favorite place to shop is Pottery Barn. So if this is a shopping trip for me I'm happy as a clam. Back on Monday my minions. Have a great week.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Back In The Saddle Again


Yepper's, that's a roger! I'm back to semi-abby-normal. First off, I need to thank all my readers for their well wishes and prayers for me. To let you all know that prayers and candle lighting really does do wonders for the person who needs the help. Thank you all so very much!!!

I went to see Dr. D. this morning for my left knee post-op. He took out the staples and put on six sterry strips. I told him about the weird clicking sounds my knee makes when I do my exercises and he said "like this?" Then proceeded to move my knee around like I was a contortionist or something. It didn't hurt but my knee made some ungodly strange clicking noises and it alarmed me. He said it was natural to hear it so not to worry. I could have slapped him for making fun of something that I considered important to me.

More great news is that I don't have to see him for four more weeks and I get to go back to the Wellness Center to continue my workouts there for both knees starting next Monday. When I told him I was a member he said that he wished he had more patients like me. Fast healer, a clicker and takes exercise seriously.

David has been working on the cabinets like a crazed mad man. He has most of the one side of the room done and will start the other side this weekend. Goddess!!! It looks so wonderful. The man is so fucking talented. He said he wants to have the top cabinets all done by February 1st. Then he starts on the bottom cabinets and drawers. He said he has a timeline that is going along just fine. By the end of March he will have the counter tops and back splash in and then start on the flooring. I know this is taking like forever but I don't give a shit cause I know it's being done right and with great care on David's part. The man is a stickler for perfection.

Well I have a house to clean and laundry to finish up on. Brightest Blessings my dears.
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