Halloween Begins

Monday, February 28, 2011

TLC Book Review

Afterlives of the Rich and Famous
• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: HarperOne (February 8, 2011)
Get an All-Access Pass to the Other Side
For decades—on television, in consultations, and in packed auditoriums across the country— renowned psychic Sylvia Browne has been asked one question again and again: “What is my favorite celebrity doing on the Other Side?” Now, for the first time, you can follow the red carpet into the heart of the spirit world. Browne reveals intimate details of how some of our most cherished actors, musicians, and public figures have fared since their deaths, giving us one more glimpse into the personalities we loved and lost. Both moving and rollicking, this is one book that’s truly impossible to put down!
Afterlives of the Rich and Famous features intimate afterlife accounts of Princess Diana, John Lennon, Heath Ledger, Marilyn Monroe, and other charismatic celebrities. By channeling her longtime spirit guide, Francine, Browne gained unrestricted access to a dimension most of us can only imagine, one in which telepathic communication is the norm and everyone occupies their healthy, thirty-year-old beautiful body. In candid reports, these stars reveal fascinating details about their new lives and the work they’re doing on the Other Side, many even sharing whether and where they intend to reincarnate.
With accounts written entirely in a trance state, Afterlives of the Rich and Famous offers an unprecedented look at life on the Other Side. You’ll find detailed descriptions as Browne brings the spirit world vividly to life and explains how we get there, from what transpires at the moment of death to the extraordinary welcome spirits receive. Afterlives of the Rich and Famous is a book that no one else could have written and a must-read for every fan of this extraordinary assembly of celebrities.

I was asked very graciously by Trish Collins to be one of the hosts of  the TLC Book Tour featuring Sylvia Browne and her book Afterlives of the Rich and Famous. I was very excited because I was never asked to do a book review before and I thought it might be fun. Let give my condolences now.

It took me only the weekend to read it from cover to cover. She starts out explaining in the introduction about her life and her Spirit Guide, Francine. The the pace is picked up starting in the first part with what to expect after death as explained by Francine and then the Glossary that explains the different things that will happen to you after death. Then she tells about the celebrities  on The Other Side and what they are doing.

I'm very sorry but this is extremely preposterous in my point of view. Almost to the point of insulting my or anyone else's intelligence. For one thing why would we need homes to stay in over there. 

Case in point:
Grace Kelly - Grace is making up for lost time on the Other Side. She's hardly cloistered, but she chooses to live alone in a Georgian style house that she says "feels like home."  Yadda, yadda, yadda. She loves going to the theater with friends, but has no interest in performing, and she's an accomplished equestrienne.

Walter Cronkite - His two recreational pursuits are sailing and playing tennis with his old pal from Home, Peter Jennings.

Please!! This kind of crap goes on and on. If this wasn't such ridiculously garbage, I might have given a better review. Well I might have but I also did some looking into Browne's history. It seems the lady is no better than a two bit Tarot Card Reader. Most of this crap would be right at home in The National Enquirer. Check what others have to say about her by just Googling her name. It's not at all very pretty. I thought you might like to see what is being said about her:
So sorry TLC, but I can't give a good review about a hack for one thing and a  very bad book for another. I'm just glad I didn't have to buy this thing.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Crazy Witch's Daybook

My mood is My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)

My fat ass is doing : absofuckinglutely nothing at all today. I mean I got up at 1:30 this afternoon and feel like some rich bitch princess in La La Land somewhere. I cleaned and did laundry yesterday so I could relax for the next couple of days. Feels very nice.

Latest addition to my shit list : is the neighbor bitch across the street. Everyone on my street has agreed to turn her in to Animal Control and the Health Department. She takes in stray cats, which is nice. But when you let them come into your house through broken windows and you live with their filth and you let it get to the way things are now, it's beyond being nice to animals. She is a pack rat. Her house smells like there are dead bodies in there. She says she can't catch the cats to have them spayed or neutered but yet she pets them and holds them. This is out of control. No one will cut her lawn because they step in cat crap. No one will go into her house because of the cat crap all over everything. She makes the TV program Hoarders look tame compared to this. So we are doing an intervention of this kind to try and help because everyone has tried cleaning up her house before and it comes back to this.

The hood mood : is quiet right now with the occasional soft sounds of wind  chimes and sixties and seventies music from the single neighbor guy down the street. Everyone is having cookouts or at the park. It's a typical Sunday afternoon. I could swear it's summer with the temp being 87 and the kids walking up and down the street in shorts and tank tops with their friends. It's a very nice day in this little country town..

What I'm hearing : are the wind chimes on the front porch tinkling. The occasional lawnmower and David cussing as he puts together the new butane grill he bought this morning at Home Desperate. I'm hoping he gets it done before 4 this evening so we can have a BBQ.

What am I poisoning  David with tonight : BBQ chicken, potato salad, corn on the cob and desert is red velvet cake with Seguin Pecan ice cream. Yep HEB (name is H.E. Butts I kid you not - big grocery store chain here in Texas) had this promo last year of having different Texas towns and their own ice cream flavors. Since pecans practically grow wild out here, can't even drive without crashing into the mother fuckers they gave us vanilla pecan ice cream. It's a big whupity do around here.

Shit I'm thankful for : I have a big honking list so I won't bore the shit out of y'all with it. Just one thing at a time. I'm thankful for quiet little towns like mine. Where everyone knows your momma and daddy so the kids mind their manners. No crazy car chases with a million cop car sirens blaring. Oh we have the occasional idiots who think they can do a crime or two here but it don't pay as they say and things generally go back to quiet little town mode. That's my daybook list entry for today.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Pink Tools For Us Bitches

David and I were talking and reading our mail after dinner as usual when he he came out and asked about getting me a ladies tool kit. I was looking at one of my many catalogs that I get in the mail every day by the truck load, yes I'm a fucking catalog whore, so what! Any ways the conversation went sorta, kinda like this...

David: Sweetie, look a ladies tool kit just for you. Holds up the catalog picture directly into my face. I nudge it away and continue reading.
Me:  I don't need a tool kit, I already have one.
David: What??! Your wooden clip clops and any dinner knife within reach?
Me:  Yes my "wooden shoes" and (See photo of my tool kit) a dinner knife! They work quite nicely, thank you very much. But if you think I need that pink tool kit then go and knock yourself out.

Next thing I know I got a pink tool set via FedEx.  Proceeds go to fight breast cancer when you buy any pink tool kit. Please check it out. It's for a great cause and besides all us bitches need great tools,.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Things You Should Tell Your Spouse About

Sorry my dear minions but this Polycythemia shit can knock you for a loop. I feel like I have the flu, I swear to the Goddess it does. But I take this one day at a time. Anywho, This past weekend David and I were playing around with ideas for gardening and what to do with all the damned seeds I have sitting in plastic bins. Little plastic bins that is.

Well we decided to do a little cleaning up in the yard. I started a load of laundry and joined him in "The Shed". I was coming around the corner of the house when I heard the booming voice.
Keeper of The Shed: "What dusth thou need my son?"
Right then I joined David and asked who the guy in the clouds was with the booming voice. 
David: Oh that's The Keeper of The Shed.
Me: Really? Where does he go when you close the shed door?
David: I don't know.
Me: Well I'd like to know. Also how did you get him in here?
David: I don't know.
Me: I mean he sounds like an awfully big dude and I don't see...
David: Honey?
Me: how he could fit...
David:  My love?
Me: into such a small...
David: My sweet?
Me: cramped shed. WHAT?
David: Move so I can close the door.
Walking to the front of the house, David has the weed whacker.
Me: So when did you get him, huh?
David ignores me
Me: Was he expensive? Do you have to feed him? Do you have to let him out for a while now and then? What's his real name, I mean "The Keeper of The Shed" is cool and all but he has to have a name. I bet it's Sid, or Ernie, or Leon or something like that? Is he married?
David starts up the whacker with one angry pull.

I went inside and finished the house work and laundry. When David came back in, he got a shower and we had lunch. I cleaned up the lunch mess and David decided to help me by putting away the clothes. He by chance opened my closet to put a dress away when a wee little old  grandmotherly voice with a New Jersey accent went.
Keeper of The Queen's Closet:  Yo! what can I do for ya sweet cheeks?  
David: LEEANNA!!!!!!!!    

Monday, February 21, 2011

No, David didn't do this. But it would have been really funny if he did.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Just a Quick Note

I wanted to let all of you know what is happening with me just in case some of you are interested. Yesterday David took me to my appointment with the Hematologist/Oncologist. I had 8 tubes of blood drawn, most of it was for Myeloproliferative studies. When I saw Dr. D. she checked me over for lung and heart and then lymph nodes. She also checked for enlarged liver or spleen. All were normal. My WBC, RBC, PLT, H & H were all high meaning Polycythemia which is some thick assed blood she confirmed. She also confirmed the Fibromyalgia and Arthritis.

The Myelo studies if they come back positive will mean that I will have to take a Chemo like drug for a few weeks or months to stop the over flow of cell production. I will need to also have a few units of blood taken from me to bring down my H&H. The consequences are possible heart attack and /or stroke if I don't. I'm all for any treatment if it works. And NO, if I were to drink loads of water it would not help. This is where hte bone marrow blows out more red, white, and platelet cells then the body can compensate for. Sometimes it can develop into a form of Leukemia. I don't think it will happen.

Friday, February 18, 2011

More On Odiferous Gases

Did Prince Phillip fart?
..and he probably does all the time. What the heck, he's almost ninety,

and at that age you don't hold anything back even if you wanted to!
Just look at the Queens face, it's priceless.

And now from the poetry corner:

By Anonymous

A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces .

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Odoriferous Males

Ahhhh what a glorious day. Skies are grey with a slight breeze and it's 78 right now. Nothing can be better than this. It's perfect "go sit out on the porch" weather. Which is what I have to do If I want to live.

Yup, Spunky, the only male Boston is farting like an old man at a garlic festival. He's very subtle about it too. He walks under my desk and nails a fat stinky then walks off like he's saying "kiss for ya mom." But that's not all. then he goes over to the girls, Lucy and Pebbles, and stands in front of them while they're sleeping and unloads another big juicy right there. Pebbles just digs her face into the blankets and Lucy walks off while giving him an ugly look. It doesn't bother him. He thinks his farts are fairly decent. In fact he has a great big smile on his chops signifying that he's more than happy about it.

The thing here is he is doing what all males do to us. They fart then leave and we endure the almighty stink. When I was younger my brother and I would play stink wars but he always won. Now David and Spunky do it to me. It must be a male only thing to be able to pass gas and never run out of it. One good thing out of this is Spunky and the girls have no fleas. The stink probably keeps them away.

So I sit out on the porch on this beautiful day, while all the candles I lit in the house are trying their level best to get rid of the stink. I might think about looking up a anti-evil spirit funk possession spell in my Book of Shadows.  I don't want to get rid of Spunky, just the funk that possess him.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I Ain't Dyin Yet.

Shit girlfriends! I'm not dyin! Well not yet anyways. But even if I was you still ain't in my will.  But thanks for the well wishes. My appointment is on the 18th which is Friday this week at 1pm. They want me to fill out a shit load of papers before I go in. I hate when that happens. Why can't we just wear a bracelet that gets updated with information every time we see a doctor. Filling out papers all morning is not my idea of fun. How the hell do they expect me to remember all the crap that has happened to me anyways.

What really gets me ticked is the fact that they want me there at 1pm to get labs done. I don't see Dr. D until 1:50. She isn't happy with the results from the other lab. Plus she has ordered extensive testing so that probably means I'll have to fork over bogus amounts of blood Bwahahahahahaa.

David is taking off that day just because he wants a day off no dought. But I'm glad he will be there just incase they want to take more copious amounts of blood. Better than calling him in a drunken state asking him to come get my fat ass and then passing out before I tell him where the shit I am ahahahahaaaa. This way I can pass out in the car and sleep all the way home.

Speaking of cars, not to change the subject and all, but don't you just hate those ass wipes that drive like they are in a hurry and while they are doing that they are bitching and waving their arms at all the other drivers that are courteous to other drivers by letting them into the traffic line for the light, etc.

Case in point. I was in back of this asshole in a  Beige Kia. We were at a light and the car in front of him let another car into the line. The Kia guy started bitching and waving his arms and shit. I mean to tell you the car was actually rocking from side to side from his ranting. I turned down my stereo and I could hear him. So the light changed and traffic was moving slowly but we were moving and the Kia was still rocking from side to side with rants. Finally the Kia guy gets around them and honks and throws a bird.

Well I guess Karma is a bitch for some cause we were still moving slowly but surely and we rounded the corner of the wide turn and guess who we saw there. Kia guy,and he had rear ended a pickup. Nice pickup too. Looked like a new one. The Kia had the whole front end all the way up to the windshield under the Dodge Ram Hemi pickup. Kia guy was fine but pissed .He was bitching at Ram Hemi pickup guy. I think he should be a little bit nicer cause Ram Hemi guy was a tall Texan lookin dude, with hat and boots mind you and he was smiling. He could have pummeled Kia dude into a bloody pulp with one hit. As we passed, the guy who was letting people into our line honked and I did too. We both smiled and waved. Yep Karma also has a sense of humor too. She's a hoot.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


I just got back from my doctor's office. He wants me to see a Hematologist/Oncologist. They will call me later and set up the appointment. Apparently my doctor didn't like the looks of the lab results. So he is actually setting me up with a doctor that I used to work with at the hospital. I assisted in bone marrows while I worked in the lab and I worked on a few with her. Hard to think I'll be at the other end of that needle when she sees me.

Monday, February 14, 2011


I love VD. Not the disease of course, Valentines Day. Although I used to hate it when I was a little girl cause all the pretty girls got all the cards. I would get one or two if someones mom made them send cards to the whole class. But otherwise I never got anything.Which is why I never expect anything now and never will. No biggy to me. I have my hubby/plaything who loves me and I love him.

So tonight we are going to our favorite Mexican place to eat and then whatever our hearts desire. I consider myself very lucky since I get one or two VD cards a year now. One from my sweetie and one from the puppies. I'm a pretty happy camper and hope to stay that way for a while. Wonder what all the pretty girls from my grade school classes are getting these days.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Almost A Jail Break

Oh what a beautiful day, so far. From a bone chilling 19 to now 53 degrees. But the sun is shining so that might help. Otherwise I'm in a damned great mood for once. The puppies are acting like little three year olds. Wanting to go out then coming back in as soon as the cold air hits them. They just got reprimanded by me for grabbing the clothes I had in sorted piles for washing and running all over the house with them. I'm still missing a blouse.

Yesterday I had a big scare. Mind you the puppies don't go on walks around the neighborhood, which is bad. We drive to the dog park and let them run free or David takes Spunky for walks at the track. Well yesterday we had a bit of wind that would gust up every now and again.

David had left for work without placing the gate rock back in place to keep the back gate to the courtyard closed. Well I never checked to see if the gate was opened and I let the pups out. Something really weird happened.

After I let the puppies out I walked to the front door with my coffee to sit on the porch. I opened the door and there was Pebbles, smiling, wagging her little tail. I let her in and she just pranced inside like nothing was wrong. So next I ran for the back door in the kitchen and the other two were sitting waiting to come in also. The gate was opened but they didn't run away. Although Pebbles was at the front door, none of them ran. I was totally amazed.

When I told David about it all he had to say was they love us enough not to run away like other dogs. Besides they know they have a good thing here. People who love and spoil them and a warm bed at night. Not many dogs have that. They are a lucky bunch

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Crazy Witch's Daybook

Outside my window it's a beautiful day but it's like 25 fucking cold degrees out there. I just saw my next door neighbors cat freeze in place while walking. OMG! The wind just blew him over. That's one frozen pussy cat.

I'm thinking that maybe one more day I can put off going out in this freezing weather to get my bloodwork drawn. Just until summer when it's much warmer...maybe.

I am thankful for warm puppies. They love to cuddle and be cuddled. Especially warm Boston puppies like I have. Maybe I can wait one more day. Nah. I better get this done and go.

I am wondering what to make for dinner tonight. Hmmmm Meatballs on a bed of fettuccine with a mushroom wine sauce and green beans. MMmmmmm sounds yummy. Mmkay got dinner.

I'm wearing navy blue Bendover Pants by Levis, and an old lab scrubs top from when I worked in the lab. I love my scrubs cause they feel like PJ's. On my feet are my Killer Bunny slippers and I have my hair in a ponytail. What a picture of bewitching beauty, huh.

I am going to have my blood drawn this afternoon so the results will be in my doctor's hands when he sees me next Tuesday afternoon. He thinks that my Fibromyalgia is not what I am really suffering from. He thinks it's Polycythemia vera which is a Myeloproliferative disease.  Sad thing is, I think he's so right on this one.

I'm hearing David, who is home for lunch, playing with Spunky. He likes to throw the ball through the dining/living rooms because it's such a long running area for him. David gets a kick out of watching Spunky run into the front door.That puppy has no fear.

A few plans I have for the rest of this week  ... I need to refresh my alters and repot my rubber tree that sits outside. I also need to go to Home Desperate Depot and get some Four o'clock seeds. I want red and white flowers this year. The seeds are round and hard so I need to prestart them on my seed rack. When they sprout I'll dip them in rooting hormone powder and plant them in small pots until April. I also need to replant some Robin Hood Rose vines that I rooted this winter, and my bougainvillea rootings too.
I need to check on the trees in the yard to see what needs pruning of dead branches from the Pecans. Then David and I are going to be cleaning out the gutters, cleaning the yard, and  then run screaming mad out for pizza. Yes I'm a pizzaholic. I go to PA twice a month but it doesn't help.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

How To Make A List For Spring Cleaning

I've been thinking, I have to get started on cleaning house this house.  Ewwwwwww! Yes, I know. Everyone is running, screaming, panicking, through their own home. But don't dispare my minions. I have a solution to this maddening thing called house work. It's called sit the hell down and have your coffee and draw up a plan of attack.

Yes, my dears, go grab a nice pen and a tablet of paper to write on. Oh you don't have a nice pen or tablets of paper?? The get dressed all warm and cozy and schlep to the car and try to dig it out of the snow. I know, you hate shoveling snow. But hey that's what that nice hunky guy across the way is for. Go get him and sweet talk him into helping.

Mmkay, the car is shoveled out of the snow and he even started it up for you while you are watching from the window slurping nice hot coffee and fantasizing. What a sweet dude, yet so stupid. Well you got the car and you drive away waving bub - by. Car is warm and toasty and it's almost lunch now. Hmmmm. Call your bff and do lunch at that cool new Italian spot you saw two weeks ago.

Ahhh. Now that was a lunch. Tell bff lets go shopping. I want that blouse I saw at the boutique yesterday ... hoping it's still there. Oh we have to hit that nice jeans boutique. Oh it's so nice to go shopping on a day like this, I feel so energized. Kiss, kiss bff. Off she goes.

Awww. The hunky guy was so nice as to shovel the snow off your walk and driveway. What a sweetie. Grab the goodies and go inside. Hide the tags in the trash and hang the clothes in the middle of the closet. Hubby won't know. I better fix dinner, he's coming home in an hour. OMG!!! This house needs a good cleaning. I'll do a list tomorrow morning. I'll need to go out and get a good pen and paper for it though.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sorry Ass World We Live In

The dusting of snow on Friday lasted only until the sun came out. And they cancelled school for this?!!! Shit!!! When I was in Germany the buses ran on two inches of ice! Solid ice!!! We lived in Finthen AAF base and went to school in Mainz. It was quite a drive on ice slick roads. But regardless of the weather, we still went to school every day. This world has become a sorry ass place to live in.

Today it's not the kids it's the grownups that are acting like a bunch of weiners.  The parents need to stop acting like ass wipes and let their kids live. I can't believe how parents have become. They won't let their kids do anything because they are afraid of what it will do to their child. It will make the child stronger, that's what it will do!!

All this hovering over them is such a pitiful sight. We as humans have become a bunch of wussies as Gov. Rendell put it. And I am so damned sorry to say that he is so right. We have become a bunch of wussies. When are we going to stand up to these assholes that are keeping us in this way of life. These politically correct wussies are running our lives. 

We need to take back our lives and do what we want to do. Stop letting them turn our kids into being a bunch losers. Because that's what is happening. Children need to learn from their own mistakes make their own right and wrong decisions. The parents should teach them morals and values of right and wrong and let it go from there. If the child makes a wrong decision then the parent should step in and talk it over. Remember we only learn from our mistakes.

Friday, February 4, 2011

The Crazy Witches Daybook

Outside my window I see a dusting of clean white ice/snow. That won't last long because the kids have no school today due to the icy road conditions. Unless the parents keep them inside and I don't see that happening if they want to keep their sanity.

I am thinking I'm up shit creek today because David doesn't have to go to work. That means a whole day of , yes, you guessed it, Jerry Springer. Did you know that Rat Bastard has an internet site? Springer all day 24/7.

I am thankful for the rolling brownouts here in Texas. Outages mean internet server will be down all day. I hope.

From the kitchen, it will be pizza tonight for dinner. I don't cook on Fridays and if there is freezing rain that doubles the non cooking factor.

I am wearing my baby pink sweats, size 3X, cause I like my comfort clothes extra large. And my Killer Bunny Rabbit slippers with the teeth painted red for the bloody effect.

I am going to curl up in a blanket on the couch and read a book.

I am hoping for David's sake, that he will not bother me too much with having to tell me about today's episode of Springer.

I am hearing absolutely nothing because I have barricaded myself in the bedroom for some peace.

Pictures of the Great Dusting Snow/Ice Storm of 2011:
The top two pictures are from the front porch.You can see the road and sidewalk are covered in ice/snow. The bottom one is looking out the back door to the courtyard.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

A Little Note

Wow!!  Yesterday was fun. We had two rolling brown outs before they finally called us to say there would be a few until around 2pm. I gave up on the internet after the second try and decided to go back to bed. Which was all to fine with the brown outs going on.

Today, we are under a snow advisory for this evening. They said to expect 1 to 2 inches. Yep and schools will close today before any flakes hit the ground. ahahahahahahhaaa. Sorry, I had to get that out before it ate me up. Then there was this. Juarez Mexico was on the national news this morning because they got 1 or 2 inches of snow. Yes, they were showing Juarez which just happens to be right across the border from El Paso Texas.

Fucking idiot reporters thought that Juarez getting snow was so fucking important. Hey they are only 100 feet from El Paso. I should know, I lived there for 32 years. Reporters are such fucking ass wipes. They act like this is the biggest thing since chewing gum. Then there are the ones out in the snow from the Weather Channel. I love it!!! These guys have tiddlywinks for brains.

Everyone knows there is snow outside. But yet they have to broadcast it. Like WTF!!! Who cares. Most people just want to be rid of it. Hell everyone wants to emigrate to Jamaica right now if they could get the flight out. The world has gone crazy and they're taking us sane people with them. It's not fair.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Storm Hit

David always gets up in the morning at 3:30. Why? I have no clue. He goes into the media room to check the emails and weather, watches some TV and the walks the treadmill for one hour. He then showers shaves and goes to work at 6:30.

Yesterday I asked David to bring in my bougainvilleas and other plants and the chairs from the front porch. He said that the storm wasn't going to hit until around 9am. I said humor me. I'm a witch, I know these things. So he brought them all in and made fun of me as he did. Grumbling about my being a witch and because "I know so." (whiny voice)

This morning a roaring tiger of a storm of high winds and cold rain came through about 3:30 just as he got up. He looked at me and said, "Don't you dare say it." I didn't, even though I was smiling from ear to ear. I know he was glad he listened to me cause the temperature dropped from 67 to 35 in less than 5 minutes. The wind howled and rain poured but we didn't get any snow or freezing rain. We won't be getting that until Thursday or Friday night.

I'm going to curl up with a book and keep Little Hal on my FB page to see if anyone screams at me. I love this weather.
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