Friday Funny

  Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Long Prairie, Minnesota. She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is -32 and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Wind chill is -59. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare.

  She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let the drunken bastard in.

Baby It's Cold In Texas

David called me early this morning after he made it to the office. He said it was so fucking cold he thinks his ass fell off before he got into his truck. When he arrived there was a wooly mammoth parked in the parking lot. Now that's fucking too cold if you ask me. Even for Texas!

He told me to just stay in bed today with the bed heater on. Hey. I have a blog to write today. Fuck that. Besides I have my own version of the Snuggie on my bod to keep me warm. That and my warm Killer Rabbit slippers for my feet.

I look a fright right now so I promise never to take a picture of myself this way. I would scare old women and scar children for life if I were to post this picture.

Anywho, I did find David's ass when I went out with the puppies a few minutes ago. Yeah, I have to go out to peal them off of the ground and fence posts. You realize I did say it was fucking cold out. Well it is.

Right now all three puppies are thawing in front of the heater. They look so cute worshiping their Heater God. Sometimes they even bring a toy or two and lay it in front of the Heater God in hopes that it will turn on for them. I always have to pick up seven or eight toys a night before bedtime. Poor little things must think the God of The Great Heater is please by their offerings so they bring more. It's a vicious cycle I tell ya.

Well poke me I'm done. I'm gonna hop back into bed and read or watch some lame ass movie on TV. Stay warm my friends.

Crazy Witch's Daybook

My Mood:  Joyous, well that's something of an understatement. I feel great. Today is Monday. I usually hide under covers and sleep the day away in hopes that Monday will be over soon. I used to hate them but not anymore.

The Weather:  It's fucking colder than a well diggers ass out there. I nearly froze mine off just walking to the car. Shit! Where is Spring? Not yet? Fuck this!

Stuff That Happened In Casa De Loco Over The Weekend:  David and I had a nice weekend with a few crazy, funny things thrown in for the fun of it. We went to Wally World to get curtain rods and picked up some unnecessary items like we always do. For the life of me I can't think of what they were. But while we were there It felt like we walked five miles maybe more. I paid for it that night in pain.

We watched the football games and feasted on junk food most of the weekend. David said he felt like a stuffed tick. EEEWwwwww! So fucking gross! Sorry, I hate the sight of ticks, that's all. I rank them up there with bed bugs, spiders and roaches. Yuck!!

There was a moment while I was lying on the couch reading that David was supposed to be feeding the puppies. He was screaming to me about not being able to find their new box of food he bought Saturday. When I walked into the kitchen I heard the distinctive sound of the cardboard pull tab. But in segments, like there was a wise ass making farting sounds. I found David in the pantry pulling the cardboard tab around the carton.

Picture this: he had his face all scrunched up like he was in pain and one leg up and out to the side for emphasis. He was making fake farts in front of the puppies! I told David he was a bad influence on them. That man sometimes inspires my inner serial killer.

Shit I Need To Get Done Today:  Absofuckinlutely nothing! No really!  I have nothing to do today. The house is clean. Laundry is done. I just came back earlier from the Vet's with Comfortis for the Puppies. The puppies will be flea free in a few more minutes and then I'll be bored out of my gourd. That means I'll be on Pinterest pinning more shit and making new boards. I found a shit load of stuff for my BOS (Book of Shadows) that I need to print out, so I might do that. Otherwise - eh!

Whats For Dinner:  I'm making meatball stew with carrots and potatoes poured on top of hot rice. Yummy!!  I love comfort food and this is it for me.

The Crazy Witch's Daybook

Outside my window it's a beautiful day but it's like 25 fucking cold degrees out there. I just saw my next door neighbors cat freeze in place while walking. OMG! The wind just blew him over. That's one frozen pussy cat.

I'm thinking that maybe one more day I can put off going out in this freezing weather to get my bloodwork drawn. Just until summer when it's much warmer...maybe.

I am thankful for warm puppies. They love to cuddle and be cuddled. Especially warm Boston puppies like I have. Maybe I can wait one more day. Nah. I better get this done and go.

I am wondering what to make for dinner tonight. Hmmmm Meatballs on a bed of fettuccine with a mushroom wine sauce and green beans. MMmmmmm sounds yummy. Mmkay got dinner.

I'm wearing navy blue Bendover Pants by Levis, and an old lab scrubs top from when I worked in the lab. I love my scrubs cause they feel like PJ's. On my feet are my Killer Bunny slippers and I have my hair in a ponytail. What a picture of bewitching beauty, huh.

I am going to have my blood drawn this afternoon so the results will be in my doctor's hands when he sees me next Tuesday afternoon. He thinks that my Fibromyalgia is not what I am really suffering from. He thinks it's Polycythemia vera which is a Myeloproliferative disease.  Sad thing is, I think he's so right on this one.

I'm hearing David, who is home for lunch, playing with Spunky. He likes to throw the ball through the dining/living rooms because it's such a long running area for him. David gets a kick out of watching Spunky run into the front door.That puppy has no fear.

A few plans I have for the rest of this week  ... I need to refresh my alters and repot my rubber tree that sits outside. I also need to go to Home Desperate Depot and get some Four o'clock seeds. I want red and white flowers this year. The seeds are round and hard so I need to prestart them on my seed rack. When they sprout I'll dip them in rooting hormone powder and plant them in small pots until April. I also need to replant some Robin Hood Rose vines that I rooted this winter, and my bougainvillea rootings too.
I need to check on the trees in the yard to see what needs pruning of dead branches from the Pecans. Then David and I are going to be cleaning out the gutters, cleaning the yard, and  then run screaming mad out for pizza. Yes I'm a pizzaholic. I go to PA twice a month but it doesn't help.

The Storm Hit

David always gets up in the morning at 3:30. Why? I have no clue. He goes into the media room to check the emails and weather, watches some TV and the walks the treadmill for one hour. He then showers shaves and goes to work at 6:30.

Yesterday I asked David to bring in my bougainvilleas and other plants and the chairs from the front porch. He said that the storm wasn't going to hit until around 9am. I said humor me. I'm a witch, I know these things. So he brought them all in and made fun of me as he did. Grumbling about my being a witch and because "I know so." (whiny voice)

This morning a roaring tiger of a storm of high winds and cold rain came through about 3:30 just as he got up. He looked at me and said, "Don't you dare say it." I didn't, even though I was smiling from ear to ear. I know he was glad he listened to me cause the temperature dropped from 67 to 35 in less than 5 minutes. The wind howled and rain poured but we didn't get any snow or freezing rain. We won't be getting that until Thursday or Friday night.

I'm going to curl up with a book and keep Little Hal on my FB page to see if anyone screams at me. I love this weather.

Weird Rants

I was checking my stats this morning, do you know that 55% of my viewers use Firefox and 35% still use Internet Exploder? Wild, huh? Then there are the weird things they put in for the Word Searches. What the shit is a  "boo monstres"??? I mean some of the stuff I see on my stats make me laugh harder than what I see in the blogs I read.

Now on to the cold stuff.  Who the hell left the door to Canada opened!??  I really want to know!  It's colder than a Witc.....  nope not that .... well diggers ass is what I meant. I mean to tell you the puppies won't go outside unless I drag them out with me. That means I have to don a coat and 2 pairs of gloves and wool hat and my mukluks just to go outside.  Then I have to lie to them by grabbing my car keys and sweetly say "let's go for a ride." And it's only 46 outside. I really suffer from the cold in my middle age.

I have to say Thank You to those who will be attending my funeral possibly this weekend. Yes, the Tablet ,,,  read this weeks posts to catch up, I'll wait ... will be here by Friday and if not, with my luck maybe on Saturday when David will be home. Damned Fed-Ex, Can't you take the Saturday off like UPS??? Would it kill you to be off just one freaking day?

Sidetracked there. Oh yes. BlakkDuchess will deliver my eulogy and make sure I have something to do in the afterlife besides twiddling my thumbs. She has graciously offered to make sure that the Tablet is buried with me. Someone please keep tabs on her and make sure I get that tablet in my casket. On another side note, would someone make sure David has yellow roses for me at the funeral. You know, being Texas and all.

For Linda. I know what you mean about the Meniere's. I was diagnosed with Labyrinthitis three years ago. It's very similar with the vertigo and the nystagmus symptoms. One thing about Labyrinthitis is that it starts with a blinding ear ache in my left ear and then the tinnitus starts and then I have dizzy spells for about 20 to 24 hours after it all starts. Then it goes away. And it's like it never happened.

It started about yesterday morning around 7AM until this morning. I am fine now until my next episode. They usually come on with stress. Ugh!!! When have I never had stress in my life ahahahahaa. So that is one of the many plagues in my life, my dear friend. I have learned to live with it, that and the Fibro.

To all my other dear sweet minions. Your comments do not go unnoticed. I read them when I can and have to laugh at all the funny remarks. Y'all are entertaining as hell!!