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Monday, January 23, 2012

Lawdy, What a Weekend !

I can't believe what all happened this weekend. First, it started Friday night with David taking me out to eat at a new place in town that is still trying to get their shit together. I like going to these places cause I like to let them know where they can improve. The place wasn't all that bad. They have pretty damned good food. They just have a bit of a problem with the wait staff and the fact that they have no liquor license yet. Otherwise it was a great place to eat.

David and I came into the place early and got a good table. We had no problem with anything. Then a party of four came in. Two women and two guys. One of the guys I could tell was gay because he went "Flame On" as soon as he entered. All he could do was complain about everything. They were seated next to me so I heard it all.

He complained about the tables, the chairs being hard wood and too heavy to move. He complained about the paper napkins, the menu items. But when the prima dona found out no booze was being served he grabbed his ginormous sunglasses and put them on and said out loud that he couldn't handle this. Then got up and sashayed out the door like a little princess. His friends were mortified.  They payed for their trouble and left to go find him I guess. Hell I would have kicked his ass.

Then Saturday morning David and I went grocery shopping. I am trying very hard to fight my anxiety problems and this was one of them. We were doing fine. Half the shopping was done and I was feeling good. Then it happened. I was with David in the canned foods aisle and he was looking at the gadgets which happen to line the other side. As I was walking and picking up cans of this and that I turned to put them into the basket but he wasn't there with me. I looked up the other aisle, no David. I went into a panic. When I found saw him in the meat area. I could have killed him.

I threw the cans into the cart and demanded the car keys. He asked why and I told him I wasn't feeling good. He came out later with the goodies and we drove home. I didn't talk to him the whole way home. I was totally furious with him. He knew I was a basket case and he knew not to leave me like that in the store.

When we got home I went into the bedroom and waited for him to finish putting away the groceries. I didn't feel like helping him with anything. He came into the room and I told him what happened and why I was mad. We didn't have a knock down drag out because we don't like to fight like that. We just talked and he knew he was in the wrong. It really bummed me out. Soooo next week Saturday, he and I are going to try this again. I told him not to go to far from me cause I'm still not ready. I really have to work on this problem though.


  1. I know I don't know what it's like to be frightened like you get, I can be around a shit load of people and it not bother me, but put me in Aldi's food store where there is never more than one cash register going and a line around the store and I start to sweat! I hate shopping in crowds. I hate shopping at all. I don't know why, I know it probably goes back to the days I was a single momma with very little money, but shopping stresses me out! I hate it so much I wore size 18 pants when I needed 12's. My daughters drag me to the store! I hate trying on clothes too! Yuck! You are not a lone when it comes to shopping!

  2. Thanks Natalie. Well I guess I'm not alone in the clothing dept. I can't go to stores to buy clothes because of the anxiety I feel when I'm in there. I have to order all my things including undies from catalogs. David says I need to pull up my biggirl panties and deal with it. But this is part of my illness. Maybe I should go off my meds and let him see what I really am. It might scare the bejeezes out of him.

  3. I have massive issues with shopping at times. I will get waves of anxiety even when I am with other people. I feel ungrounded, disconnected and as though I am a speck of sand on a beach. Like I'm small in a huge store with big lights and tall tall tall ceilings. This only happens to me when I'm batshit crazy before I leave the house so I've learned to get in and get out during those times and pop a klonopin about 30 minutes ahead of time. Then, there are times when me and my bff can shop the day away. Bipolar, ain't it fanfuckingtabulous!

  4. They have leashes for toddlers who like to wander. Why not one for husbands???

  5. "Flame On" Bwahahahahahahaha...


    As for your anxiety, I'm totally rallying for you! Britt has her battles with this too, so I know how hard it can be to look it in the face, give it the finger & do what you're dreading anyways. You fucking rock. <3

    I hope this coming weekend's anxiety stomping goes without a hitch. Kick it in the teeth...


  6. Makes life a bit difficult at times, doesn't it???


let 'er rip

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