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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

My Brain, It Hurts!!

I'm sorry my friends but I'm not a really big fan of that Bieber kid. I guess it's cause he looks and sounds too much like a girl. Shit I don't know.

This morning I was watching the tornado damage of Oklahoma on various channels. I was flipping innocently through them when I came upon "The Dreaded E Channel". Yeah the one in the same that literally sucks the intelligence right from your brain and turns you into a Walker(zombie).

For some reason my channel changer button stopped working. I slapped the living fuck out of the controller and then beat it to shit but it wouldn't work. I suddenly knew what happened I was sucked into the "E ZONE", que the eerie music.

So I thought maybe the batteries wore out, hee hee. Never you mind. So I went to get fresh batteries. But when I came back ... He was on. The Spawn of Evil Squeaky Girlie Songs. Yes that Bieber kid and his fucking weird hair.

It was an "E Story" of his life so far. Like EWWWWWWWWWWW!! How the fuck did this happen??! I was shouting HURRY BITCH! PUT THE BATTERIES IN BEFORE YOU BECOME WALKER BATE! Yeah, well something like that.

But it was too late. he started singing. My ears began to bleed My eyes where bulging from my skull. I couldn't find the off button so I ran screaming in pain to the kitchen and put my face under water.

After I cleaned off the blood and pushed the brain matter back in through my ears. I quickly ran back to the bedroom and slammed the door shut. The room was now possessed  How would I ever explain this to David.

I waited, fidgeting and pacing in the courtyard. When would it be over. Was it on for one or two hours. How long can they drag this crap out? It was after two hours that I finally decided it was safe to re-enter the bedroom and turn off the TV. But there she was that LOHAN WOMAN!


  1. Hahahaha, so you're NOT a "Belieber" eh?

  2. LOL!!

    I loathe the little fart myself. It mainly has to do with my low tolerance for shitty music. No, entirely has to do with that.

    Side note: he's dumber than a sack of old doorknobs. Seriously. Listening to him speak gives me a brain cramp.

  3. They've already made a True Hollywood story about him? The kid is still in diapers. At least by the look of his pants and how he acts he is.

  4. This. Oh Jeebus, THIS.

    Somebody hack the homepages, because everybody needs this. For serious. XD

  5. You know your dirty ass had to rob the vibrator. Don't be all coy and shit.


let 'er rip

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