MY MINIONS

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Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Monday, November 18, 2013

EEEWWWWWW My Life SUCKS !!!




Well it seems that I've only made it to 2507 on the comments counter so far. I'm still hoping that the comments will reach 5000 by January 1st and that someone will get that $100 gift card from Amazon.com. I know I'm not the best blogger out there. I try to blog everyday unless my ill health is making me drag my ass that day. But I am trying. Maybe I should up the anti and make it a $200 gift card. Maybe I'll surprise you all with three gift cards. WTF am I saying??!!! Please disavow! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

It's been a very productive weekend. I got all my major chores like the laundry and cleaning the house done early on Saturday. That made me happy because I was able to spend the rest of the weekend with David teasing him. He has this new kick on Saturday and Sunday mornings. It's called "I'm going to hog the fucking remote and watch every single OLD western TV show and movie that was ever made. So help me Jebus!"

So I take my mini laptop into the living room and surf the web for fun shit. He finally notices that I've been gone for about a month and comes into the room and asks if he did something to make me leave. I usually say no.

Wrong answer. Then he sits down next to me, puts his head on my shoulder and starts badgering me, asking, like am I mad at him or did he fart much too loudly. Then he leaves and goes out. Comes back a half hour later with a bag of Lindt Lindor chocolates for me. I dive into them and he starts asking again why I'm in the living room all alone with the puppies. I say, "no reason." That just pisses him off. Obviously, bribery has gotten him nowhere. So he stomps off to watch football.

Around halftime he comes looking for me again. I'm in the bedroom laying on the heating pad. My back is acting up again and he wants to know if he should cook, meaning he'll go get something from a fast food place. I get up and make him a salad and grill a breast of chicken, cut it into pieces and put the chicken on top of his salad. He loves salads. I let him know dinner is on and I go lie down again. I have no appetite when I'm hurting. He's upset because he thinks he's done something wrong even though I tell him he hasn't. Why he can't listen to me when I tell him the truth is beyond me. So I end up going to bed early and I woke up late this morning.

UGH!!! My ass is dragging now and I feel like shit. I had my coffee but still feel bad. Starting the 23rd (this Saturday), David is going to be off from work for a whole fucking week due to a plant wide shut down for Thanksgiving. All I can think of now is "Fuck me, I'm gonna die!"

6 comments:

  1. It is my experience that men just don't it. When we don't wanna be bothered it doesn't necessarily mean they have done something, we just wanna be LEFT ALONE! Sheesh, why is that such a hard concept for them to understand??

    I'm guessing I missed the part about the 5,000 comment give away cause you KNOW if I'd'a knowed about it I'd be all over the comments for your blog. Welp, now I know and now you are gonna get your wish ... 5,000 comments here we come!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I first posted this comment contest on my Third Blogging Birthday.
    http://canwehaveanewwitchoursmelted.blogspot.com/2013/06/happy-third-blogging-birthday-to-me-and.html
    I thought you knew!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope! Somewhere I missed that post. Dag nab it!! So, Belated Happy Blog Birthday!!! And I'm still gonna blow up your comments now. That Amazon gift card will seriously help with textbooks!!!!!

      Delete
  3. I have the ideal solution to the 5000 comments problem. Just give the card to me!

    My back is still bothering me. The constant pain is starting to catch up with me. I finally made an appointment to see an Osteopath but even with my step-mom as the receptionist I can't get in until December 2.

    Do you get massage therapy or see an Osteopath?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would see the doctor. We call them Orthopedics. If the massage therapy isn't working then by all means see a doctor. There may be something very wrong.

      On the comment problem ... I don't know. I'll have to think about that one.

      Delete
  4. Geez I hope this works...you're so funny :)

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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