MY MINIONS

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violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

In Which Lucy Wants Attention

Last evening, while David and I were watching TV and talking about the day's happenings a funny thing happened. Now before I get into the story, and this really happened, of what went down last night, I have to let some of the new people know what Lucy and Pebbles (Squirt) are like. 

Lucy the Clown
Lucy is a clown and an attention hog. She has to have all the attention showered upon her or she will find a way to make it happen. Usually something from in the clown realm in which her brain resides.
Pebbles aka Squirt

Pebbles, whom I call Squirt because she's a little thing, is the opposite. She's a quiet, reserved, little wallflower of a chihuahua. She rarely seeks out attention unless she needs to go out or wants dog biscuits. Biscuit Time is set at 6pm, no later and the puppies know this. So they have a tendency to ask repeatedly or listen for the TV music that announces our favorite news program that comes on at 6:00. 

Mmkay, so you have most of the players. David and I were talking about something he read on Yahoo news. As we were talking little Squirt raises up on my knees barely above them and starts begging for biscuits. I'm talking to her, letting her know that it's not time yet. She pushes off my knee and goes into the kitchen. David and I go back to our conversation. It's only 5:40PM.

About 5 minutes later Squirt comes back, sits in front of me and gives a great big sigh and stares at the sealed plastic covered dog biscuit container that is sitting on my desk. I ignore her and David and I continue taking. Squirt is getting tired of waiting so she raises up on my knee again. I turn my attention to her, which is a big mistake for Squirt.

So I'm leaning down to tell Squirt it's not time yet for biscuits when Lucy attacks from behind. I have no idea why Squirt is bouncing and growling until I sit up. Lucy is bouncing around with her paws around poor surprised Squirt's waist. Lucy yanks the unsuspecting chihuahua's body away from my knee and continues to wail on Squirt's little body in full male doggy style abandon. 

Lucy is humping Squirt in such a way that all you see are 2 little black dogs bouncing around on the floor. Squirt is growling and snapping at the air like she's saying to Lucy,"I'm gonna cut a Bitch when you let me go!" And Lucy is flopping around on back legs that can't hold them both up under all the weight. So there is a lot of flopping and humping and growling and loud laughing going on for what seemed like 5 minutes. Then Lucy let's go of Squirt and I see out of the tears from my laughing, both dogs running from the room. Lucy for her life with her tail tucked and Squirt giving chase, barking. I can just only think that Squirt is cussing Lucy out in Spanglish with all the barking going on. Poor David and is laughing so hard from what we just witnessed that he can barely breath. I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying.


2 comments:

  1. Perfect picture painting! Loved this and give Squirt an extra biscuit tonight, she earned it after having Lucy maul her, LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those are the moments of hilarity that make all the poopie-scooping worthwhile.

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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