MY MINIONS

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violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Monday, March 16, 2015

I Now Hate Sundays

My life sucked in so many ways this weekend. Yes! Yes, it did! I decided to do laundry early in the morning yesterday because I didn't do it Saturday like I usually do. I put the first load in, which is usually white clothes. While that was getting started I mopped the kitchen. I then went to finish my coffee in the TV room where David was balancing his bank statement and other Sunday shit, then vacuum the house, take my back pain meds and go lie down on the heating pad.

Well, it was nice and quiet in the bedroom, I didn't hear what was going on in the kitchen. I got up and thought I'd check on the wash to see where it was in its cycle. Yeah, Karma was standing there in the kitchen next to the sink playing in the water with her sister Fate.
There was water everywhere on my nice clean kitchen floor. The sink was full of sudsy wash water. The pipe had backed up again when the washer emptied and the kitchen sink was overflowing with it. Water was all over the counter tops and running down into the drawers and cabinets underneath. I instantly screamed for David as I grabbed instinctively for what I thought would be dry kitchen dish towels. They were sopping wet from the water that had run into the drawers. I wanted to cry.

Instead, I grabbed the clean dog towels we kept in the laundry room from off the kitchen. I threw three of them on the once cleaned floor and began sopping up water. David had the plunger out and was trying to get the water to go down in the sink. It wasn't working at all. I did not want to contend with this today. My mind was in a fucking drug induced fog as it was. I layed two large dog towels on the countertop to sop up the water and began to grab small appliances from the counter and put them on the dining room table, wiping the undersides dry as I went. Then I removed all the drawers from under the counter and emptied the wet kitchen towels, potholders, and sponges onto the now wet towels on the floor. This was all going to have to be washed anyway, why the hell not.
David was now outside, opening the drain on the side of the house. I instinctively checked the washing machine. The whole wash cycle had been completed. Everything was ready for the dryer, so I grabbed the wet clothes out of the washer and threw them into the dryer and then grabbed the wet towels and kitchen stuff from the floor and counters and threw them all into the washer to sit so I could get the mop and get the rest of the water out of my kitchen. I was not thinking of doing all this cleaning until next month. April is when I tear apart the house and do my Spring cleaning. I was not happy about doing this today.

About a few minutes later the water went down the sink with a slurping sucking sound. I was relieved to hear that. But it wasn't over yet. There was a clogged pipe and a still wet kitchen to contend with. David was snaking the main pipe under the house as I was emptying water from the drawers. Everything was waterlogged.

After I wiped down the drawers with Lysol and set them out to dry under the fan. I dragged the last of the wet towels out from under the counter cabinets and wiped them down as well. Everything that was wet then got thrown into the washer to sit until it was safe to wash them. I finished wiping down the cabinets and counter tops then I remopped the kitchen floor. Then I set up another fan to face the open cabinets and emptied drawer wells to let them dry out.

After I surveyed the now cleaned again kitchen I went outside to see what David was up to. He was still snaking the pipes under the house. Cursing under his breath. He also had a foreman working with him. There was Butterscotch, a stray four-month-old male yellow cat, that has owned us for a month now, checking out David's work, watching the metal snake clanking against the pipe rim. At one time after David had pulled the snake out of the pipe, Butterscotch had his head way down in the pipe. David gently grabbed the kitten before he fell in. Butterscotch looked up at him like he was saying, "thanks man, I almost fell in." When Butterscotch saw me he ran over to let me know what was going on.

David was shaking his head. He had nearly tried everything and was at his wits end. I had the phone with me and was almost ready to tell him that I was calling a plumber when He told me to put the phone away. He was going to Home Desperate to see if there was a bigger drain cleaning bladder. That's a little four inch long spongy looking bugger you hook onto the end on a water hose and snake it into the drain and it expands to the width of the drain pipe when you turn on the water. Then you can push the clog through to the bigger pipe and it gets washed out. Clean as a whistle

I was lying in bed with the heating pad on my back when David came home. He showed me the bladder and a few toys he bought that he just had to have in his "toy box". That man just loves to buy tools. A few minutes later the clog was gone and the early Spring cleaning was finished. I finished putting away all the clean kitchen towels and things. Everything was dry. All the laundry was finished. I took a blinding hot shower and went back to my heating pad in the bedroom and fell asleep after taking my pain meds. David never woke me up to make dinner. He let me sleep through the night. Thank you sweetie.

6 comments:

  1. I thought I had already read about plumbing disasters and David and Home Depot. It turns out I did and you have shitty luck with plumbing and a certain husband getting distracted at the hardware store.

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  2. Whoa I would cry, just collapse and cry

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  3. Oh no! What a gawdawful mess! I would have been screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs the entire time.

    "Karmasutra" indeed, LOL -- I'm stealing that one!

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  4. What a pain in the arse but on the bright side April has now freed up some :)

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  5. What a harrowing tale. I would have had no idea what to do except see if I could drown myself in the overflowing sink. Okay, maybe I'd cry, have a panic attack, call a plumber and be at his/her mercy, sacrificing my credit cards and check book like a virgin near a volcano.
    Glad your husband is a bit more handy.

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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