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violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Friday, July 10, 2015

Gardening: Limited Space With Pots

Today, I am going to be passing along a few gardening tips for those of you with limited backyard or apartment space for a garden. Many of us don't have the much needed space for growing that little adorable flowering plant that you just bought from Home Desperate's gardening department. Yes, many of us fall short when it comes to thinking before buying. But today I am going to help you through all that stupidity and the " duh" moments. Because today I am going to teach you how to grow cats.
Yes, growing cats in the proper sized pots will bring you years of happiness. It can be a chore and granted, a great big pain in the fucking ass if you don't know what you are doing. But, today I will help you get past all that.
First you want to start off with kitten bulbs. Make sure they are healthy specimens, free of bugs and icky worms. Separate them one to a small pot each to start with.
Planting the kitten bulbs in separate pots ensures proper growth. In eight weeks, these little darlings will be ready for a much larger pot where they will grow to adults cats.
Just make sure you properly feed with the right kitten food, and water them daily. Also, optimum sunshine in the morning hours is best for the growth of your happy, healthy little kitty cats.
There are several tidbits if information every cat grower should remember. Always pull any dog weed you find growing in the pot with your beloved cats. Dog weed tends to take over the cat plant and will eventually force the poor kitty plant out of its pot.
Do not over-stuff your cat plants in their pot. Make sure to plant one per pot or you can plant two together if the pot is large enough. Size does matter.
Remember proper watering, feeding, and the right amount of sunshine of your potted cat will ensure a healthy, happy specimen that won't take up too much space on your patio or balcony garden. 

Well, that's all for today's gardening lesson. Check in with us next week when I show you how to tame the mischievous wandering Tiger Vine.





6 comments:

  1. teddy would love to plant some kitties!

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  2. So funny! I'd love to grow a kitty plant.

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  3. Norbert doesn't approve of growing cats so I am not allowed to do this.

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  4. People have been cultivating cats in their yards? Huh. I've been spraying them with RoundPup. (I'll see myself out.)

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  5. How I love this post, woman! You know me well. Now, I shall go foraging, and see if I can find something wild and lethal to grow: maybe a racoon, or a bird. :-D

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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