MY MINIONS

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Thursday, July 21, 2016

I'm a Sick Woman

Lizzy
I went outside this morning to water my gardens, it was quite nice for a change. I should have taken the puppies to the dog park, but I was so tired. I had a terrible night of my usual back pain again. Lizzy, the Golden Orb Weaver spider, was busy sucking another wasp dry. She seems much happier since I had her move away from the front door. She now has a steady mealtime with all the wasps coming and going from the nest that they built in the corner near the wisteria. When she finishes sucking the life out of a wasp, she throws the body to the ground. Just like a redneck throwing empty beer cans off their porch. I wonder if she belches when she does that. I have a redneck spider.

Yesterday David and I were discussing paint jobs on cars. I showed him the paint job I wanted on my Honda. He said he has to drive that car too. He really was not amused, but I was. I want this paint job. People will break their necks just taking a second look as I drive around town. I think it's cool as hell. David said I need to see my Psycho doctor again. Apparently he thinks I'm a sick woman. Hey, but I'm fun.


10 comments:

  1. omg...a bonfire of the vanities car!

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  2. It is a Walking Dead car!! Channeling your inner Carol!

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    Replies
    1. I know, right?!! I love Carol, she's sooo AWESOME!!

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  3. I will pass on the car but I am glad Lizzie is happy!

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  4. Your "redneck spider" description made me laugh! I tried to chase a spider out of my car at noon -- not entirely sure I succeeded. I felt itchy all afternoon.

    You would also need to get one of those Halloween prop severed arms for that car and hang it out of the hood.

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  5. Uh, I believe I was promised "gratuitous sex" in the warning at the beginning. I'll just wait right here until I get that gratuitous sex, thank you. I don't care if you pimp out the Golden Orb Weaver, I just want to see or read about sex. I am very pent up.

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  6. Too funny about the "redneck" spider. I am sure it probably does belch.

    As for the car...hilarious. It does look like a "hit and run". I think Debra has a great idea about getting fake arms for it. That would be really funny...in a twisted sort of way.

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    Replies
    1. I like the idea of halloween arms or hands or feet sticking out of the hood somehow! I wonder if the police would pull you over?

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let 'er rip

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