MY MINIONS

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Count Down To:

Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Monday, July 24, 2017

Monday, EEEeewww!


David is home today. Apparently, his office has gone to 4 day work week this summer. So he takes Mondays off now. I don't mind as long as he doesn't bother me, which so far he's been good about that. Right now I'm dilly dallying around the house, doing laundry, watering plants that I think should live, vacuuming, dusting and then I'll be mopping the kitchen. Loads of housewife fun.

This past weekend I did absolutely nothing. Well, almost nothing. I did cook and blog and watch The Good Wife and Game of Thrones. So I wasn't a total bump on the couch. I have gotten to the end of season 3 on the Good Wife. Game of Thrones is picking up a bit but not by much.
~SPOILERS~ 
They got rid of the haughty bitches that I thought would be trouble later in the shows season. Jorah is being treated for his skin disease by Samwell who seems smarter than anyone around him. Arya meets up with her dire wolf Nymeria who has her own wolf pack. To me, it's as if they mirror each other and Jon is on his way to see Daenerys about the Dragon Glass mine. Really I hope next Sunday is more action packed. This building up is getting to me.

Sigh . . . David wants to go out for lunch. Ciao y'all.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Religion in a Nutshell


Saturday, July 22, 2017

Music for a Savage Saturday

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Canada Eh?

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Wet Dog Wednesday









Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Cutest Ever

Monday, July 17, 2017

It's Monday and I'm Tired

I didn't get much sleep last night, apart from staying up and watching the beginning of season 7 of the Game of Thrones, which was very boring for a season opener and then having Lucy sneak into our bed at midnight when she heard the thunderstorm coming our way. Yeah, having a little dog that instantly turns into a bed hog can ruin your night. So I went into the living room with her until the storm passed. By then I was wide awake and couldn't sleep at all. So I'm very tired right now.
I had a never ending follow up appointment from hell with my family doctor. I think I waited for like 2 hours before I got called and then had to wait an additional hour and a half for him. I didn't get out of there until almost 12:30. He was late coming in because of a patient he had at the hospital. So everything was running 3 hours behind schedule. 

I did find out that yeah, I do have rheumatoid arthritis. But he wants me to see a specialist to confirm that it's not also Lupus. He set up an appointment with the specialist and I have to go back for another CBC blood draw. My white cell count was too high. He wants to see if it's back down to normal. I won't be back to see him until November. Well. that's it for now. I'm going to catch a nap before I fall down in an unconscious sort of way.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Religion in a Nutshell


Friday, July 14, 2017

Friday Funny

During a recent outing in New Orleans, a woman snuck off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." 

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.


She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked, 

"Will I be acquitted?"

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Canada Eh?

Well, many dumb Americans. . .

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Wet Cat Wednesday











Tuesday, July 11, 2017

I'm The Trifecta of Fun Around Here

Yeah, I seem to be just that. I didn't get to post early because I was busy calling my family doctor for an emergency appointment and getting dressed at the same time. This morning I woke up and took my wrist splint off to take my shower. Guess what, my wrist was twice the size as yesterday's photo op with the x-ray machine, red as a beet and hot as Houston. So I finally got in with my regular family doctor and he said it might be either pseudo gout or cellulitis. As for the swollen hands and wrists from arthritis, he asked if my pain doctor did and testing for it. Nope, she just prescribed a drug that worked for the pain and swelling but affected my blood pressure to the point that when I stood up I felt like I was going to faint. Apparently, my BP was plummeting from the medication, so now, I'm not taking it per my family doctor orders until we find out what is causing all this hand and finger swelling. Lovely! 
So, I went for a fasting blood draw just minutes ago. I am soooooooo glad they can draw my blood without problems because so far my week has been one sucky problem after another. Right now I'm being tested for lupus AND arthritis, and anything else out there that might be in the autoimmune family. I have to call my doctor tomorrow morning to see what the results are from the tests and what we are going to do next. Yes, I''m worried as hell because nothing is definite right now. We don't have a clue what is going on with me. My doctor did prescribe the antibiotics for the possible cellulitis.  I hate taking antibiotics because of the whole "Super bug" thing. Yeah, that. So, I'm just sitting tight hoping for the best. And how was your day thus far?

Monday, July 10, 2017

It's Monday and Update

It's Monday and David went back to work this morning. If I could do somersaults then I would but for right now, I'll hold off in my mind and do that later when I have more time. Yeah, right. Anywho, I was counting down the minutes until he goes back to work yesterday and then I realised, I have to get my Walking Dead Countdown clock started. I didn't do it last year because of the election. I was so wound up in that and I forgot to put up my clock. So, this year, whenever they get around to announcing the beginning of Season 8, I will have that clock up at the top of this blog.

Typing this shit is taking forever. Y'all are probably thinking what the fuck did this klutzy broad do now. Well, I fell again. This time it wasn't the stairs. It was in the kitchen. Lucy spilt their water dish and David didn't get all the water up with the mop. Soooo, clumsy me, I was walking with a bowl of vegetable peelings to put them in the stock pot that I make veggie stock with and I slipped and fell. When I landed on the floor I came down caddywompus hitting the floor, left wrist first to save my knees and I think I either broke or sprained my left wrist. It hurts like crazy when I'm typing or picking up something, even the slightest movement like turning my wrist causes extreme pain. My pinky finger is numb too. So, I have my wrist wrapped in an ice-filled towel to keep down the swelling. I couldn't sleep so I decided to start my blog early this morning. When my Orthopedic doc gets into his office I'll call and see if I can get an x-ray to see what's cooking in my wrist. I'm hoping it's just sprained.

I don't want to type anymore right now. I'll let y'all know what happened later today when I get back from the Ortho doctor. Until then, y'all have a great day.

-UPDATE- I just got back. My Orthopedic doctor was in surgery all day and I didn't want to go to the ER and pay $700 just for a few x-rays, so we went to the Med Clinic. They took x-rays, no broken bones, just badly sprained and swollen. I'm wearing a removable wrist splint to keep the wrist immobile for a few days. Otherwise, I'm good to go. Total cost: $35 for co-pay.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Religion in a Nutshell


Saturday, July 8, 2017

Friday, July 7, 2017

Friday Funny

A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color." 
 The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue." Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" 

This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!" 
Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out of my window each time I tell you what color I'd like a room?" 
The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of blondes laying turf across the street."

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Thursday

Dipshit #45 is on his way to to the G20 Summit today. Am I so much a bad person for wishing his plane crashes? I am aren't I? Well I'm hoping that stupid fucker took a few lessons in manners from his daughter this time. He was such an asshole last time that it made me shake with hate.  I actually wished for his plane to crash before he returned home. This is a little video from when he got off Air Force One and walked right past the limo with Secret Service people. I mean it's fucking right in front of him and he walked right past it. If it wasn't for the one Secret Service dude pointing him back to the limo he would have walked aimlessly around. Looks like Alzheimer's is setting in just like his daddy.
I'm keeping myself sequestered in the living room these days. It's nice in here. I have and comfy couch with pillows for my back my laptop and the TV if I feel like watching the news. Lucy sleeps next to me where the A/C hits her just right when it needs to come on naturally to keep the room at a nice 75 degrees and David doesn't bother me with his trash TV shows. I can close the french doors and it gets nice and quiet in here. Spunky is here in the room too. He takes his life slower too. He loves it in here with me because I have sheets on the furniture so he can sleep on the soft couch all day.  Yes, I'm one that likes to protect my nice things, and yes I pamper my fur babies. After all they are the only ones that keep me sane when David is working. I have to talk to something animate or they would have me locked up in a padded cell at the psych hospital.
David has done a few of the listed items from my "Honey Do" list, nothing too strenuous though. The heat and humidity are awful right now and we are in the beginning of the dry season of summer. He said he would do the painting and filling of the Black Hole of Calcutta when weather turns cooler. The hole isn't that deep anyways. He dumped some rocks and sand into it this past spring before the rainy season to let it settle. He wants to try to build that frame for the greenhouse I want so badly. He said in September he will cover it in a tan screen fabric he found on the web. The kind you see at Home Desperate in their greenhouse section outside. He can cover the fabric with plastic in the colder months to keep it insulated and he can grow his tomatoes and I can grow my carrots, peppers zucchini, cucumbers and green beans in the winter. Yesterday, David and I went out to dinner. Not to a fancy place mind you, we had burgers at an old burger place in New Braunfels. It was nice going someplace and not have the big crowds as there are on Friday and Saturday evenings.
Well, I have housewife shit to do. Ciao.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Wet Dog Wednesday










Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Happy 4th of July


Monday, July 3, 2017

It's Monday


Finally, it's Monday! David is driving me bonkers and it's only 3 days into his week long vacation. I do have to say he does come in handy when I need him to open a lid to a bottle of water, otherwise I'd dry up and die. The man does nothing but glue himself to the TV and laptop screens all day long. He left the puppies out in 90+ degree(32+ C) heat over the weekend countless times. I only found out when I saw the poor babies panting on the back porch. Even though I keep telling David you have to stay by the back door and wait for them, he still forgot about them. So I am the only official one to let them out now. To make matters worse, he hasn't done a single thing on that "Honey Do" list. So I'm treating him like he's at work. That's the end of that.

Last week Thursday I promised you pictures from my dead camera. Here they are. The pictures are a bit fuzzy because it's my telephoto lens. I need to take it apart and clean it. 

Anywho, as it turns out, the turkey buzzards only wanted a drink of water, lunch later. After they got their fill of water they flew up on the cat lady's house and watched the cats for a bit then flew away. Here are the pictures. If you look closely, you can see a little chihuahua in the mid upper left. He's very teeny tiny. We call him Paco. He's the neighborhood bully.
 The turkey buzzards were eyeing one of the cats as a possible meal.
Personally, I was thinking they were getting a better look at little Paco down the street. If you look closely you will see him. That would have been a better meal since tiny dogs don't fight back as well as cats with claws do.
Anywho, did anyone see the news in England? Strangely enough the fresh water fish are becoming Transgender. YES! It's true! I shit you not!! Check it out here:  http://tinyurl.com/t3pa7e8.  I found this, this morning while I was reading a few of the online news reports from Europe. I couldn't believe it. In a way it's funny because they have fish that are going through a sex change from all the contraceptives flushed and then and the fish don't give a shit about it because of the antidepressants.  
Also, in Louisiana, there is a problem with its tap water. It seems that they have a little beastie living in it that is causing problems. That little beastie is called Naegleria fowleri. It causes the disease Primary Amebic Meningoencephalitis or PAM and is known as the Brain Eating AmoebaIt loves to live in lakes, ponds, rivers and soil mostly in the southern states during summer. It's only way of transport to the brain of a an animal (or human) is through water up the nose. When I was working in the hospital lab on night shift we would see one or two cases every year. 
Well my time is up here. I have puppies to take care of. Ciao.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Religion in a Nutshell


Saturday, July 1, 2017

Music For The Savage Saturday


If anyone of you out there have ever seen the movie, The Fifth Element, then you will surely recognize this piece of music. This was written with the notion that no human could ever recreate the range. In the movie the "Diva Dance" was computer generated. 
But, there is one person, Jane Zhang, from China, who has nailed it without the help of computerized autotune. This piece of music is really beautiful. I have always loved great opera when the singer sings an incredibly difficult note without failure. This young lady nails it!


Friday, June 30, 2017

Friday Funny

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Stuff and Thangs

There is something of a Mexican standoff going on across the street from my house. It's involving close to 11 cats and 2 huge turkey buzzards. I was taking pictures of it all when my camera battery died. I nearly screamed from the dismay. I can't download the pictures onto my computer unless I have a loaded battery. It's dead ass is being juiced up as I write. Really pisses me off to no end right now. I hope the pictures come out okay. I'll have to post them on Monday.

David will be off on his annual 4th of July vacation. So he has decided to start that week off beginning tomorrow morning. Lucky me. I have a small list of things I want him to do outside and it should keep him busy and out of my hair for a week, unless he does everything in one day. 

OFFICIAL HONEY-DO LIST FOR JULY 4TH WEEK VACATION

 1.   Fill in the Black Hole of Calcutta on the side of the house.

 2.   Dig up all the grass and weeds from your now defunct 
         tomato garden. Use it to fill in the Black Hole of Calcutta.

 3.   Cut all low hanging branches from the Pecan trees that 
         would impede drivers from driving on our street.

 4.   Wash and detail my car like you said you would in June 
         when I won that bet.

 5.   Wash out the trash cans.

 6.   Fix the down pipe going to the water barrels.

 7.   Clean out your man cave/tool shed, I can't find a hammer 
         when I need one.

 8.  Paint the front door and window trim like you said you would 
         last year.  

 9.  Fix the mail box. 

10. Fix the leaking faucet in the kitchen.

So sue me! I could only come up with 10 Herculean tasks. This will surely keep him from bothering me while I watch The Good Wife  next week.




Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Wet Cat Wednesday









Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Cutest Ever

Monday, June 26, 2017

It's Monday

I wasn't feeling well Saturday so I stayed in bed. It felt like my body was attacking itself again. It's been a year since that happened. Sunday I was still out of it but functioning. Right now, I'm beat. On Sunday I cleaned up after 2 very messy little dogs and a husband. It was bad. Clothes were everywhere in the bedroom and bathroom, doggie toys and their blankets were in every room including the laundry room. Why, I have no idea. So I spent Sunday morning cleaning. I was too tired to cook dinner, so David went to Subway and picked up a couple of salads for us.
After all that, I retired to the living room couch and watched The Good Wife on Hulu. I finished watching The Handmaid's Tale and finished the first season of Cardinal  last weekend. Both shows were absolutely awesome. So now I'm watching The Good Wife and then Dexter is next on my watchlist. 
The reason I'm watching old stuff is because when I was working at the hospital in Luling, I was on a 12 hour schedule. That meant I had one hour each way to work and back home. and 8 hours to sleep and then time enough to shower and dress. I never had time to watch anything and David never taped the shows or he forgot all the time. Sooooo, now I have all the time in the world and the perfect streaming outlet for it.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Religion in a Nutshell


Friday, June 23, 2017

Friday Funny


An Englishman, a German, and a Frenchman were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze, when all of a sudden, Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for this terrible crime they were all sentenced to 50 whip lashes each.


On the day of their punishment the Sheikh who was going to whip them announced: "It's my wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 20 lashes before the whip went through.
When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The Frenchman was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 35 lashes before the whip went through again and the Frenchman was soon led away whimpering loudly. 
The Englishman was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a part of the world I really like. For this, you may have two wishes!" 
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Englishman replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 50, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
The Englishman smiled and said, "Tie the Frenchman and the German to my back."
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