MY MINIONS

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Sunday, January 1, 2017

Dear Diary - hAAPpY neEW yEARs

Jan 1, 2017

David woke me up at an ungoddessly hour this morning. It was 5a.m. Both my eyes were in the same socket. I refused to get up. He came back into the bedroom with Lucy. Lucy refused to touch her mommy, good dog. I finally got out of bed, 5:22, took a shower brushed my teeth and got the dead mouse out of my mouth.
Dragged my clothes onto my body, slipped into my shoes and put on my windbreaker. Shuffled into the TV room, drank my morning pill load and told David let's go. He said that he changed his mind and didn't want to go out for breakfast. So I grabbed him by the front of his t-shirt and said, "FUCK you! We're going! I didn't get all dolled up for nothing!" 
He laughed and we started for the kitchen door. I started laughing. Spunky, our oldest male dog was drinking water from the water dish with a blanket draped over him. It made him look like a drunk, hung over. He nonchalantly walked back to the easy chair he had been sleeping in, with the blanket still on him like it was nothing.

I crawled into a booth at IHop and asked the waitress for coffee that was strong enough to crawl out of the cup, slap my face and make me it's bitch for the day and hotcakes. David had his usual everything. I barely made a dent in the hotcakes. I really wasn't hungry. 

Okay, this is the thing. We didn't celebrate New Year's eve last night. We actually went to bed early at 8 because we were tired. Lucy stayed with us all night because she's afraid of the firecrackers popping. She didn't bother us at all. I slept through the whole night like a baby. But I feel like I partied hardy all night long. So, I'm asking .. WHOEVER THE FUCK STOLE MY SOUL LAST NIGHT, PLEASE RETURN IT TO ME SAFE AND SOUND. 

7 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha, that's exactly how I feel this morning too and all I had to drink last night was a flute of cheap champagne at midnight. Gawd, gettin' old sucks.

    Happy New Year!

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  2. Thanks for the morning chuckle! Happy New Year!!

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  3. Haha! Happy new year!! Lots and lots of love!

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  4. LOL!! You are too funny! Happy New Year!!!! I went to bed at 10:00pm! LOL!

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  5. Went to bed at 11. No better way to end a shitty year then ignore its passing.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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  6. That's really funny. Well written. Look, I only need to borrow your soul for a couple more days. Mine is tiny, crispy and overly used. I need a fresh-ish soul to use for just a couple of days when I go back to work. I swear, it'll come back

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let 'er rip

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