Funny Religious Shit

Off For a While

I'll be taking the next few days off. Going on a mini vacation to hell if I know where. David is driving so I have no idea what is in store for the weekend. See y'all Monday

Wet Cat Wednesday

David's New Toy

If you read yesterday's blog then you know I stubbed my toe. TWICE!! Yes! Yes, I know. So today I'm doing better. Still not walking with shoes or even slippers. But it's not hurting as bad.

Anywho, I mentioned a little something about David and a new tree saw. Yes, he went to Home Desperate without my supervision again. Came home with an electric Ryobi chainsaw connected to an extender pole that goes from 6 to 9 feet. oooooooo aaaahhhhh

I knew I should have gone with him, but I had things to do that weekend. I had a bad feeling the whole time he was gone. When he got out of his truck I saw a small stream of drool still on his chin. He does that when he walks around Home Desperate, also a half-dazed look. Most of the men who go there turn into zombie husbands. The only ones that are normal in that place are the contractors getting supplies. The working staff are all Stepford sales people leading the zombie husbands around to the cool stuff and then they leave them there to drool a while.

Well, David took all the toys out of the box and put it together. Yes, he had to make sure it worked too. He proceeded to cut all the low branches that he hits with his head when he mows the yard. But did he pick them all up for the mulch truck? NOOOOOOoooooooo! He left some for me to pick up because he got all caught up in his new toy. So there are all these little branches from the pecan trees sitting on the ground. EVERYWHERE! Did he cut down the branches over the street or on the roof that I asked him to cut? NOOOOoooooo!

Now he's looking on the internet for a longer pole to attach to that thing so he can cut the higher stuff. Why? Shit if I know. I was wondering, if one of his toys just happen to kill him there is going to be one hell of a grand garage sale. He already owns half of the shit in Home Desperate. I ought to make a killing. No pun intended. AHAHAHAAAHAhahahaaahahahaaaa!

My Guardian Angel Drinks

Personally I think my Guardian Angel drinks. Yes, yes she does. I did laundry yesterday and I was taking the folded towels to put in the bathroom closet and I stubbed my toe. It hurt like a mother fucker. I checked it out after doing the stubbed toe dance around the bathroom a couple times. It was throbbing but okay. Really I thought I had broken it.

I was taking the other folded clothes to be put away and I stubbed the same damned toe. I screamed and started cussing, pissed off royally that I had hit that same toe twice. This time I was bleeding all over the place. I made the floor look like a crime scene, just needed to throw a knife on the floor and chalk line a body. I looked for somewhere to sit and check out that poor littlest piggy.

Bitch was bleeding quite profusely. I had broken the nail to the quick, so I screamed for David who was farting around outside with his new tree saw, I'll that explain that one tomorrow. Well, that did no good because he was really busy playing with the saw. So I hobbled to the kitchen and grabbed a dish towel, wrapped my toes and grabbed some ice in another dish towel. I then hobbled to the TV room and put my foot up on my art table and wrapped the ice rag around the toes.

The throbbing was excruciating. I kept beating on my desk with my hand to counter the pain in my toe. It worked. After the pain died away a bit I was able to check the toe to see the damage. It wasn't really that bad. I do expect the nail to fall out later but nothing serious that I would need stitches for. I was able to walk around after about 30 minutes. So I cleaned the mess up, grabbed a Dr. Pepper and watched "I Zombie" that I taped on DVR.

But let me tell y'all, last night was the worst. The throbbing from my toe basically kept me up nearly all night. I think I fell asleep sometime this morning and I just woke up when David called me at 10:00 this morning. I put a new bandage on it this morning so I wouldn't get any dirt on it if I went outside. I can't even wear my sandals because it still hurts. Sigh. I need to go bitch out a certain drunkard angel right now. Y'all have a great blessed day.

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