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Thursday, January 14, 2016

Almost Abby Normal


Well, everything went quite well for my back injections on Tuesday. I had the S1, L5 and L4 done. It hurt like a mother when I got stuck with the needles but in the long run, it was worth it. I went in with a pain level of 8-9 and walked out feeling higher than a kite. David had a few errands to run while he was waiting and returned just in time to see me come out to recovery. They had given me a Valium before I went in and I had taken 2 of my Hydrocodones before arriving at the Surgical Center. They were aware that I had taken some of my pain meds because I told them. Yet, they gave me Valium. WTF!! I was higher than a kite when I got out of the OR. My oxygen was waaaaaay below the normal numbers. I kept setting off the alarms, but I couldn't help it. I was relaxed, and when I'm relaxed like that I forget to breathe. David kept trying to keep me awake and breathing. and the nurses said I wasn't going to be able to leave unless I brought my oxygen level up above 95. It took quite a while. I finally got it up to 96 and the nurse said I could get dressed and go home. Finally. 
Well, I'm nearly back to normal now. My pain level is down to a 4. It really hasn't moved since last evening. So that's a good thing. I wish the pain was completely gone, but that's the only thing that lets me know I'm still alive. No, it wouldn't remind me that I might be in hell, Satan and his demons have several restraining orders against me at this moment. The really good thing is that I'm able to stand longer than 5 minutes at a time and sit longer than 10 minutes. It's great to be able to do stuff like walk without so much pain in my legs and back. It's wonderful. 
OMG! Ok, I'm listening to the TV news and they have just announced the Oscar Noms for 2016. I sware, if Leo doesn't get an Oscar this time around then there is definitely someone on the take. How many times can someone go on in life without a golden dildo as an award? I ask you what does it take to get one? Or better yet, the big question in LA is where can I buy one? Just asking...




Monday, January 11, 2016

It's Monday Buzz


I'm late posting today, I know, I know, but we finally got the ROKU for our TV and David and I finally got to catch up on Longmire. When fucking A&E dropped them after their third year we were NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
The last episode we saw was when Branch (Walt Longmire's deputy and running opponent for Sheriff) was talking to his dad. They both had shotguns in their hands and then you see Longmire getting off his horse at home and hearing a loud gunshot. What we wanted to know was who shot who or really who killed who. But all that was up in the air when the season ended on that cliff hanger. We never got to find out because Longmire was never renewed for a 4th season. Assholes at fucking A&E threw the series to the dogs and Netflix picked it up. We never got to see what happened until this past weekend. So we finally did and we are one with the Universe again *sigh* and I slept in this morning because of lack of sleep. 
And now for something completely different.
Anywho, last week Friday I saw my pain doctor for my back, he recommended that I have another Facet Injection. So Tomorrow afternoon at 1PM I go in for Bilateral Lumbar Facet Injections on L5 and L4 and possibly L3 if the films indicate it. I should be walking out by 3 in the afternoon. It's done in an outpatient surgical hospital, which is practically down the street from the main hospital. When I get out I have to put ice on the injection area on my back to bring down the swelling and pain. Yes, it is a bit of a painful procedure.
Otherwise, if nothing goes wrong, I'll be up and around by Wednesday morning hopefully feeling no pain. I do have to say I am a bit nervous. After all, they could get it wrong and I'd come out walking backwards.


Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Tuesday! Yeah, The Ugly Sister

OY!! It's been fucking cold here in Texas. Y'all up north don't give a shit, I know, but it's fucking cold just the same. I have 2 puppies in front of the heater and one shivering under a blanket behind me on my chair. I turned on my heating pad that's planted firmly on my lower back so Lucy will stop shaking soon, I hope. The good thing is that it will warm up for 3 or 4 days and then it will get really cold, possibly freezing next week. Yay! Oh, for a nice heavy snowfall. Yeah! Like that's ever going to happen here.
Ok, as y'all know, David is finally back at work after 2 weeks off. I have to say it wasn't a total loss. I had him doing a few things around the house for me because of the rainy weather and a slow moving cold front that made it impossible for me to lift or bend over to pick up even a towel off of the floor. Yeah! My back had me throwing back pain pills like they were candy, but I got no relief. It was that bad. So I have an appointment to see my pain specialist on Friday to determine if I need to go back into the outpatient surgical unit to get more injections. It's been a while since my last injections so I'm due for more. Right now it's not so bad. Hmm. I wonder if my pain is from David being home too long. There is a chance that it could be just psychosomatic. Naaaaaaah!
Well, while David was home, he went out and took advantage of the post-holiday sales and got a great deal on a flat screen tv with a sound bar for the living room so I can watch tv in there instead of going into the bedroom all of the time. Thing is, I don't really watch tv that much. I do turn it on, but it's only to hear music on the music channels. It kind of pissed him off. So while he was home I watched reruns of Game of Thrones, which, got him involved in it too. He set up the DVR to tape GOT so he could watch it the next day. That is what he did most of the time. Not one time did that tv hit a Maury or Jerry Springer show. I was amazed. 
I laid on the couch on the heating pad half listening to him asking me questions and commenting while I was flipping through Pinterest on my laptop. I also added 1100 more followers on my Pinterest page over the holidays. Yes! I couldn't believe it! No, I didn't bribe anyone. I added some new boards also. So I'm in the process of cleaning up my boards and putting things in their proper places. David says I need to join Pinners Anonymous or I need a Pintervention. But the thing is, I only pin when I'm bored shitless or when I'm out of money for retail therapy. At least, you can say Pinterest keeps me out of jail. What more does he want? Shit! 
SW7
Oh, I meant to tell you all yesterday, but I forgot. Remember last week Tuesday I said David and I were going up to Austin to see his daughter and to see the new Star Wars 7 movie? Well, it was a fun day I can say this much. The directions that David printed out were really conflicting with where we were to go. We only had to turn around once and take the right exit turn once. Yeah! He got pissed with ME. ME! I didn't print out that shit, he did. I was only reading out loud to him what was printed. Don't ever get lost with your husband, they don't ask for directions and refuse to admit that they are lost. Also, you will be blamed for everything when he loses his cool and gets mad when you ask the helpful driver next to you at a way to long red stop light for directions in Austin. Yeah! I did! And the directions were much more helpful than that fucking piece of shit my husband printed. Thank you very much to the kind woman in the black Lexus next to the hopelessly lost crazy ranting husband and woman in the white Honda Accord. We found our destination on time, 10 minutes before the movie was supposed to start.
Anywho, we finally got to The Movie House to see the movie. Those seats you see above are way cooler than they look. There is a button to recline them or sit up. There is a call button to call a waiter/waitress to your seat number(see red dot next to 16 on lower right side of picture above) for anything on the menu during the movie. It's like a dream. You are given the check near the end of the movie so when the movie is over you just review it and sign it when the lights come up. If you are thinking of skipping out on the check, think again. They have your info when you pay for the tickets. But let me tell you, those seats are AWESOME!! It was like a zero-gravity seat for me. I felt no pain in my lower back what-so-ever! It was a blessing! I was able to sit through the whole fucking movie, which was pretty fucking awesome too, without any pain at all. Because of the seats, I was able to get home soon after before the pain started up again and pop my pain pills. The Movie House was a wonderful experience and I highly recommend y'all going to one if you ever have the chance. Just don't take your husband, who couldn't find his nose even in the dark!

Monday, January 4, 2016

I Feel All Brand New


Yay!! A brand new year has finally come for us all to fuck mess up. I feel like a born-again Christian ready to sin my ass off!. WOW! 2016! All brand new and shiny. 

Thank you, everyone, for your New Years wishes and Happy New Year to y'all. David finally went back to work this morning. YES!! YES HE DID!! I survived!! It's so fucking quiet around here. I got some stuff done early. Laundry is done and the house is clean. That means I'll have the whole day to do absofuckinglutely nothing. All the kids in the neighborhood are gone too. The puppies are taking their recharging nap right now. It's like time stopped. The quiet is so nice. So quiet.
MMmmkay, let's get to all the good stuff first. How many of you noticed all the news and morning talk shows showing their all too fucking bothersome "Let's talk fitness and eating right" portion of the programs? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Well, I did. Don't they know we're tired of that shit? We can look up stuff like that on Youtube. I'm starting a rant. I better stop before I get myself into trouble again.


Oh hells bells. Why not nip this bitch in the bud and get right to it. Has anyone ever noticed how these exercise enthusiasts are so fucking HAPPY but not jittery? These people come on TV talking 700mph wide eyed and bushy tailed like their asses were on fire. They can go for hours even days. That's because they have drugs on their side. No, not hormones that are pumping through their veins from exercising. What do you think is getting them all wired up. I'm talking that fucking fun drug, Adderall, YES!! Mommy's other little helper. No, not this mommy. Well, once, a long time ago. In a galaxy far, far away. Just check one of them silly fuckers out when they come on TV. Just do it. Fuck, I sound like a Nike commercial.

It's hard to believe that we just finished Thanksgiving and Christmas. I feel like it was all combined into one big fat fucking holiday. Thanksmas. YES!! Why the hell don't we just make it one big fat holiday and get it the fuck out of the way. Most of us eat big on both holidays anyway so why not. Then for midnight on New Years, we can all pop from the over eating. YEAH! One big happy fucking blowout. YES! All us fat people blowing up. It'll be our fucking Fat Rapture. Then the happy healthnuts can promote their new workout videos to each other.


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