Counting The Time Until



Computer Error

Computer Error

Friday, October 7, 2011

I Need Chocolate

When I started out this year, I picked a word to live by for the whole year. Something that I could look on and say to myself am I living up to that word. It was Strength.


The quality or state of being strong
Mental power, firmness or courage
Power of resisting force, strain
Effective force or power

I am really wondering if I'll make it through this year. Yes my dear minions, I am in a deep dark funk right now. Yeppers, I am totally fucking depressed beyond belief. And I need chocolate!!!! Lots and lots of it!!! Or I'm gonna off myself!!

I was so depressed that I thought of downing all my meds at once. But then I thought I'd just have to go get refills so that was not happening. Besides I hate the whole fucking idea of throwing up. Then I thought of breaking open one of those cheapo razors and slashing my wrists, but I hate pain and I don't have a bath tub to make one of those movie scenes with the bitch in the water with blood on the walls and the water is pink from all the blood. Meh.

There was the thought of driving over a cliff. Ain't no fucking cliffs out here. Just a bunch of hills. Yeah!!! I'm gonna fucking off myself over the hill. Shit! There was the thought of standing in front of a train. They are never on time and you have to wait for days sometimes before one comes through town. By then I'll have had my chocolate and shit will be right with the world again.


  1. The mere fact that you can laugh about suicide means you are strong. It is part of your cycles, if you find yourself not laughing about suicide....get your ass some help. PRONTO.

  2. When life gives you lemons, kick life in the groin and tell it to make you a sammich.

    Sorry for the trials. Sounds like you handle stress fairly well, but keep strong. Hard to stay depressed when you sing "Just Keep Swimming" from Finding Nemo... try it.

  3. You need a punching bag...something to take out the aggressions and gain strength at the same time...

  4. Oh my.

    I have the Chinese symbol for 'strength' (or maybe dumb whore, who really knows) tattooed over my heart. Some days, it's the only strength I can find.


let 'er rip

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...