Get this fucking house off of me!!!
And who stole my red shoes?!?
Laughing so hard I had to stop and blow my nose. We had a schnauzer once upon a time. She surprised us one morning wearing a used condom on her nose.
Now I don't feel so bad when my dog chews up the dirty diapers. He goes into the trash, and just feasts on them. Not to mention other nasty garbage things. And he likes to chew up anything silicone-ish/light plastic. Pacifies, bottle nipples, toys, etc. If he only kept his mouth shut (barking, eating things he's not supposed to, and what not) he'd be the perfect dog.
Oh, that wedding ring takes the cake!
let 'er rip