MY MINIONS

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Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Things Have Changed !! I Have My Reasons!!

If some of you have been following me, not literally following me like a stalker but that is kinda kinky and I like that, but like reading my past blog entries, you may have noticed I hate spiders. Yes I have an unrelenting hate for them which will go on and on until I have lived maybe six or seven more life times to come. I have that much hate in me.

Yes, well you see I believe spiders evolved from some Alien's eight legged slave that got left on our planet by accident while they were on an eight hour tour. Yes, an eight hour tour. But I digress.

Somehow this eight legged little black fucker got crazy and lonely and mated with something during the Mesozoic-Jurassic period; thus meshing their DNA which has evolved into the nasty, ugly, sneaky, make yo man scream like a little girl, spider it is today.

So everyone of you is wondering WHY? WHY, Leeanna, WHY?!? You said you were devoting Saturdays to Silly Thoughts Saturdays. Why did you change your mind, y'all are saying. Well now Saturday will be known as I Hate Spiders Saturday. I have my reasons.

Well It's like this. I simply hate spiders and the fact that I dragged David's beloved shop vac into the bedroom because I refused to let my house vacuum cleaner be defiled by said nasty, ugly, sneaky, make yo man scream like a little girl, alien eight legged bitch spider. Yes, I sucked up that nasty little fucker with the shop vac then I dragged the vac outside into the courtyard and opened it up and sprayed the holy fucking shit out of the insides of that vac. I know it had to be dead because I used two whole cans of RAID Spider Killer on it's ass.

Ten minutes later while I was opening the window facing the courtyard, I happened to notice a tiny black spider on the rim of the opened shop vac coughing and sputtering.

                           I    hate    spiders!

4 comments:

  1. That was n't overkill at all! lol
    I do not understand people who likes them and touch them and i definitely do not understand having a pet spider, or snake for that matter, or lizard. What, the pet shops run out of cute cats, dogs, birds and goldfish?
    That being said i do love the idea of a pet owl and i do love frogs!
    I now realise that this post had nothing to do with pets, but i am still going to leave you this comment!
    I hope you are feeling better! Lots of hugs and love!!

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  2. A worthy adversary indeed. Let the War begin.

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  3. Me and Spiders don't get along at all. I've gotten better over the years, but the bigger they are the more freaked I get LOL. A tarantula will move me to tears; its ridiculous, I know, but it is what it is.

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  4. I love spiders! They are a symbol of the spiral path and weaving magic.

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let 'er rip

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