MY MINIONS

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Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Casa de Loco News

I thought I'd let you all know what's been going on at Casa de Loco since Thursday last week.

I'm a little Zombiefied this morning after this past week's migraine so bear with me please. I think it had to do mostly with my little bout of insomnia that hit me on Friday night. Lack of sleep brings them on like clock work.

So, Thursday afternoon David came home for lunch and stayed home. In fact, since it was an Easter weekend, he stayed home until Tuesday. Lucky me. Maybe that's why I had the migraine, who the fuck knows, except he drove me completely insane most of the weekend.

Well I was in for four and a half days of nothing but Trash TV which is basically Jerry and Maury and Reality shows all day long.

The assumed torture was short lived though. I made him go to Home Desperate to get some compost and a bottle of Bloom n' Feed for the garden. He brought home a new sprinkler something like twenty packs of morning glory seeds, like I need that many, and a new shovel to beat him with.

I told him I was going out to spread the rose food and other fertilizers for the various flowers I have in the garden. Somehow that lit a fire under his ass because he was all like "let me do that, you just tell me where." That was the end of Jerry and Maury.

So he was like spreading around the compost and fertilizer and shit while I was soaking some of the morning glory seeds in the kitchen so I could plant them on Friday morning. Next thing I know he comes walking in the house tracking shit all over the livingroom floor, into the kitchen and asked me what I was doing. I said I was putting the seeds in to soak so they would germinate faster and why the fuck didn't he clean his shoes off before coming into the house.

Daydream #One: Beat him into a bloody pulp with new shovel. Put body in double plastic bags. Clean shovel and surrounding crime scene with peroxide to eliminate the blood. Take shovel back to Home Desperate for refund. Pocket the money. Take road trip to somewhere in West Texas to dump body in shallow desert grave in the middle of no where. Don't forget to bring the puppies for fun companionship on trip. 
So, he needed to go back to Home Desperate to get more compost for the lawn. He miscalculated the amount needed. Forty minutes later he comes back with the compost and a rake and a post digger  like we need one. He needed the rake because the old one was OLD.

Daydream #Two: Take husband's lifeless body to wooded area. Dig deep hole and put body into hole. Put on gas mask and long rubber apron. Pour Hydrochloric Acid over body until completely dissolved. Cover with compost husband bought. Leave puppies home. They talk entirely way too much.

Anywho, I left him too his lawn and gardening fun while I watched some Walking Dead reruns. I LOVE The Walking Dead. I had set up the DVR to tape TWD this whole week so I'd have three seasons worth of it to watch when I feel withdrawal symptoms coming on.

The season finale is on Sunday night. SHIT! The 4th season won't be on til October. SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Long time to wait for more Zombie action.

Then I found out The Game of Thrones was repeating all of season two on HBO on Sunday. We don't have HBO because David says it's not worth it.  Also that HBO was free on cable this whole weekend. Oh Fuck Me Now! I was finally going to see GoT and maybe a couple of other shows. YES! I was so hoping to see GoT third season opener and I got to see it!

David was happy about The Walking Dead but not The Game of Thrones. He was all like, "what is it, a game you watch someone play?" In a way yes, yes it is. I enticed him even further by telling him there's sex and violence. He loves that stuff. He's a guy. So he watched GoT and loved it, of coarse.

Well :

  • I got to see my two favorite shows. 
  • David only tortured me for two days until Game of Thrones came on. 
  • He's thinking of getting HBO now. 
  • He did the gardening like I wanted him to do. 
  • I was hiding from any bit of light on Monday until I made David get my sunglasses from the car.
  • David went back to work on Tuesday YAY!

Now my migraine is gone and I'm starting to feel better. I wonder what this weekend is going to bring. I'm thinking if he ever decides to retire my life is pretty well fucked.

3 comments:

  1. Apart from the migraine and a bit of reality trash TV, you came out ahead this weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You know an awful lot about disposing of a body and not getting caught. Snap!


    My husband is taking early retirement in September. He is going to be home EVERYDAY. Every fucking day.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not a bad weekend all round, I too am dreading retirement. Shall we start digging the mass grave now LOL

    ReplyDelete

let 'er rip

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