MY MINIONS

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Monday, June 29, 2015

Day 1 Of My Incarceration

Today is Monday. Yes, yes it is and this is officially my first real day of incarceration. Yes, David starts his July 4th vacation today.  This means I have to come running when he wants to show me something on the web. Yeah, he's like me. Don't get me wrong here. We both love to web surf the web like crazy, but his surfing is interrupted with bouts of Jerry Springer and Maury.
I don't mind the fact that he watches this crap, but he tends to play it LOUD. So loud that I have trouble concentrating. Even with my earphones on I can hear that shit. So just like last time, I'm taking up refuge in the living room away from the noise. But I will have company because the puppies follow mommy everywhere.

Anywho, I had him take down the broken bird feeder from the pecan tree Saturday. He also cut the pecan tree branches from the power line to the house. Today, he has an appointment with the CT machine for his left kidney. I'm hoping there is nothing wrong but you never know. Other than that David is going to be maxin and relaxin all week long unless he goes to Home Desperate to drool.
Sunday evening, I made a dump cake for dessert. Yes, I know, I know. I fucking love to bake. But last night I was tired. So, I dumped blueberry pie filling and 2 cups of fresh blueberries. Then I dumped the yellow cake mix, dry, from the box over the berries and topped the dry cake mix with thin sliced pats of butter. Throw the whole thing into a 350-degree oven for 50 minutes, or until the butter is melted into the dry mix and created a cookie topping that is lightly browned.
Well, while we were watching "Gone Girl" on HBO Demand, The fucking fire alarm went off. That fucker is loud. The puppies came running from the kitchen. and they were shaking their heads because of the loud screaming of the alarm. It was very offensive to their ears.

There wasn't a single thing on fire. Not even a billowing of smoke. It was the heat in the room next to the kitchen that had the alarm going off. It was just too fucking hot in there, so we turned the window AC on to cool off the room. I never heard the end of that episode either. David kept saying I had conjured up the fires of Hell to bake that fucking dump cake.

I think I'm going to have to look for a grave site, buy some duct tape, and find his shovel out in his shed. I have the tarp, so I'm just about set. David might have a very short vacation.

6 comments:

  1. good luck! i hope you don't kill each other!

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  2. Haha! Your secret is safe with me.

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  3. I like it when my smoke alarm goes off every once in awhile when I cook or bake. It lets me know the batteries are still good. Hey, silver lining!

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  4. Make David wear the headphones.

    I was all excited about your title. I was thinking Orange is the new Black!

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  5. I understand what you're saying about the tv..Bob watches ALOT of action movies ..I'm sure if you open your window you'd be able to hear it all the way to your house...lol he wears cordless headphones, makes me a happy girl :)

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  6. Find work for him to do. That is what my wife does.
    the Ol'Buzzard

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let 'er rip

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