Give Satan Back His Weather Already

Spider plant

I found out last night that my sweet husband, David, ordered me 3 spider plants online on Saturday evening. That lovable stinker. He does things like that out of the blue. So now I'll have to keep my eyes peeled for the mailman to deliver them sometime at the end of next week.

The weather is miserably hot here. We haven't hit triple digits yet, but it might be sometime this weekend that we will. They are predicting 30% chance of rain this Friday into Saturday. Yeah right. Like when donkeys fly. 

Lucy balancing on the arm of my desk chair with her head
looking over my shoulder. She's trying to get my attention again.

The puppies are going stir crazy and it's beginning to bother me.  They are cooped up in the house all day because of the heat. Spunky, the blind oldest, wants to play ball all day, Lucy is constantly underfoot or on the arm of my chair. I think she's part monkey. Pebbles is the only one that leaves me alone except for when she sees a cat, then she's all over me wanting to go out to chase it. When they do go out, it's like slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am. They run out of the house like it was on fire. I think now I can have peace for a while. Hell no! They are on the back porch barking and jumping at the glass door wanting to be let in again. Then they go lay all over the tile floor, turning themselves every so often to get cooled down in front of the A/C. Poor hot babies.

Hopefully, this weather won't last too much longer. August will be over before it begins and September starts up the cooler mornings and that means COFFEE time and sitting out on the porch with the puppies for me again. The kids in the neighborhood will be going back to school and quiet  time will be mine.(I'm the only person at home in the Hood - sigh). I can't wait.

The Crazy Witch's Daybook

My Mood: 

Yeah,  I'm soggy.  I went out to water the yard and the hose blew up on me, literally. I had to go to the other side of the house to get the other hose cause David took the keys to the "Chamber of Secrets" with him to work and I couldn't get the new hose.

I need to get a second set of keys to that shed. Either that or get my own shed with everything pink so he'll be ashamed to touch anything in it.  Anywho, I was sopping wet but I finished the job. After this post I'm getting some sweet iced tea and plopping my fat fluffy ass in the chair out front and enjoying the morning.

It's so freaking hot:  It's so hot lately that we've been losing our cable service which also means our computer server too. It really sucks. But in a way it's a good thing cause I can read or sit outside and drink in the greeness of the plants. It's so pretty but it's so fucking hot.

I found this cute video via  my husband, David. That kinda shows you what they do at work in the office. But check this out. Who says dogs are stupid.  This one knows it's too hot outside so he's bringing it in. I love it.
http://www.wimp.com/swimoutside/

Shit I did recently: This past weekend I just relaxed cause David was on his fishing trip and he got home Sunday afternoon.  Instead of going out for dinner I decided to make meatloaf. He loves that shit. I also made spaghetti. Strange, I know, but if I make it then put it away in the fridge and then have it for dinner two days later it's like WOW!!! It tastes fantastic. So that's how we have spaghetti  in our house. I think it gives all the herbs a chance to enhance it.

Shit I need to get done: I need to put the finishing touches to a book review for Friday's post.  I love this book, it's so cool. But you'll have to decide.


Adventures : Lately just to get out of the house I have been taking the puppies for car rides around the block. It just blows their little puppy minds that they get to go someplace. Yesterday I went to the bank to deposit some cash and I took them for the ride. They were in car ride heaven.

Lucy had her head head hanging out the window barking at everyone, Pebbles was riding shotgun with her head out the window, barely. She's such a little thing that I have to pick her up to get her into the car. Spunky had the other back window, slobbering all over the place. They got their bones from the bank teller and we went home. David had just gotten home for lunch and they were all over him. Probably trying to tell him about their adventure. Puppies are so easy to please.

Come Visit At Your Own Peril

Yeah it's fuckin hotter' en hell here but what can I say. We are closer in proximity to Hell than any other state. Our State bird is the Fufu Bird. It flies backwards to put it's tail feathers out.

The Crazy Witch's Daybook

My current mood today is:  again. I'm just waiting for Friday cause I get to see the doc about my back surgery follow-up. Lately my legs are giving my ass a whole fucking lot of trouble. They feel like someone it sending a charge of electricity from my back to my toes and then back up again. It's really starting to piss me off.

My Diet : is failing my fat fluffy ass so I took the ticker off my blog. I have decided to go with the flow. Last time I did that I lost 85 lbs. in 7 months along with my gallbladder. That was a fine fucking how do you do. My mother, the bitch, and I say that not in a respectable tone showed her true colors that night. But I digress and that will be a Mushroom Print post like very fucking soon I can guarantee that.

What's going on at Casa de Loco:  Let's see ... well four days ago, David almost lopped off another finger while playing with the new bird feeder he bought online. He's such an online-buy-every-fucking-thing-that-we-talk-about-whore. Well he bought this thing that has a weighted perch for the birds that will close if a squirrel lands on it and it closes the feed access with a quick bang. He was playing with the counter weight and it popped his fingers. Needless to say I said I was gonna let him bleed to death this time for putting his fingers where they don't belong. Ewww! That sounds fucking disgusting. What did I get on the Clean Meter(TM) so far?

Oh yeah, Pebbles had a run in with a cat yesterday morning. Told David about it when he came home from work for lunch. Well, story goes that I let the two girls, Pebbles and Lucy, outside to go to the potty and all of a sudden I heard a scream. I went to the doorway to the courtyard to see what all the bitching was all about. Pebbles had the back leg of a little grey cat in her mouth and she wasn't letting go any fucking time soon. For some reason either the cat was retarded or Pebbles had it just so that it couldn't turn around to scratch her in the face. So I yelled for Pebs to let it go and she did. The cat really was fucking retarded cause it ran into the chain link fence twice before climbing it to get away. All I could do was stand there laughing my fucking ass off cause of the stupid cat and what I was thinking was Pebs nearly had pussy for breakfast. I almost fell down from laughing so hard. I couldn't see the steps to the back door of the kitchen. Haven't seen the cat since either.


The weather here in Texas:  FUCKING HOT!! OKAY?!  

Yes it's like a fucking furnace out here. So far we are under Stage 1 Water Restriction. That means water your shit to cool it the fuck off before 10 am in the morning and after 8pm at night. Poor San Antonio is begging for the wet shit. They are under Stage 3 Water Restriction. Which means tough fucking shit. Y'all should live near a real river, you retarded dumb fucks.

Things are melting

It's so fucking hot even the dogs don't want to go outside. We really need some rain bad. I think it's time for some witchy intervention. Last time I did it we got rain for three days. It was so nice.

What's for din din: BBQ Chicken, it tastes like cat. It's a running joke with David and me. The puppies love when I make chicken cause I always give them some of mine. I always tell them we're having cat for dinner. It really fucks them up. Probably why Pebbles caught that cat.
"Here momma, skin it and fry it up yummmm!"
Sooo sorry all you cat lovers out there. BWAAHAHAHAAhahahahaahahaaa! Maybe not!