Spiders ... Yuck!!

 David and I were outside last night sitting in the courtyard talking and enjoying the evening.  It's very rare when I can actually sit outside with the hubster and have serious conversations about crazy people in our neighborhood, squirrels, the Mother Ship. You know, really serious stuff. Then we got to talking about what bugs we hated the most, and spiders came up in the conversation. I truly hate spiders. I don't care what size they are, I just hate the little fuckers. They're ugly and they were brought here by aliens to wipe us out. That's the bottom line. They don't belong on Earth.

My hate for them really started when we were stationed in Hawaii. Dad was in Korea at the time. It was a fun time to be eight years old. Except for the humongous fugly house spiders. Well there just happened to be one in the garage of my grandma's house. My sister pointed it out to me. There it was plastered on the ceiling.

Now the reason we were in there with the alien was because we had to get some things out of the car. My sister was scared to go in there because of the spider. I went into the car for her because that thing was way up high. It would take time for it to get down. So I got the books out of the car and I did something you never do in a garage in Hawaii with a big fucking ugly spider the size of a kitten, no doubt they eat them. I slammed the door of the car and it vibrated the garage.

That fucker jumped down from the ceiling and jumped on me and I started dancing around trying to beat the fucker off me. Sorta like Kermit, below. It didn't bite me or anything. It just jumped off me and ran away. But I can still remember the feel of that thing jumping on me. It really had some weight to it.