Sorry my dears. But my back is acting up due to the humidity and threat of rain. I will be off until I feel better again and the pain is to a minimum.
I love the fuck out of you all!

Wet Cat Wednesday

The Real Laws of Nature:

Law of Mechanical Repair  -After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.   Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers  - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Supermarket Law  - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help. Variation Law  - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Bath  - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings or someone has to come in and pee, namely small children. Law of Close Encounters  -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. Law of the Result  - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Biomechanics  -The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theater or Sports Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug. Law of Logical Argument -Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance  - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy  -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

Funny Religious Shit

I Hate Spiders Saturday

I know, I know. Why haven't I posted any more spider memes on my blog. 

Well, to tell you the truth, I'm bored shitless of them.

You know you can only do so many of an item and then it becomes sad and over done.

So this is my very last spider meme for Saturday.

From now on Saturdays will be open season on anything I feel should be posted because I think  it's funny and you know I love to pass the funny things in life on to my friends and make you smile, laugh, spit your coffee out at your screen, you know, stuff like that.

Funny Demotivational Friday

FUCK YA!!!

OOMPAH BANDS ROCK!!

The Usual Boring Crap That Will Put You To Sleep

We just had a cold front blow into our neck of the woods in Texas. Weather guy said it would be in the 60's this afternoon and it's right now at 54 and still dropping and the wind is making it colder of coarse. Lyin bastid!

Spunky and Pebbles are sleeping in their warm beds, all snug like bugs. Lucy has been following me around like I'm gonna disappear any moment. She lays down in back of me while I'm here typing. It's nice because she keeps my back warm but not so nice because she pushes on it and hurts me. I let her stay though because it makes us both feel loved and safe. She's mamma's girl.

I've lost my energy again. It has to be the moon phases, just has to be. I not only lose my energy but my insomnia kicks in until the New Moon hits. Then everything comes back to normal until the Full Moon.

I've been keeping a little daily diary about my energy levels, insomnia and migraines for the past few months and everything is in correspondence with the moon cycles. Ain't that a bitch! I was born during the New Moon so I'm wondering if this all ties in together. I need to look into this more. Hmmmmm interesting, no?

David has found a new love. It's called fried spam sandwiches. The man is crazy about them. I made fried spam sandwiches and tomato soup for lunch this past Saturday and he wants it for dinner tonight again. I swear if I were to cut spam into small chunks and add it to his salad he would go insane. Hmmmm.

Wet Dog Wednesday