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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Crazy Witch's Daybook

My mood:My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)shitless

What I’m doing with my fat fluffy ass today: I need to call the Surgical Center and pre-register this afternoon so I don’t have to do so much paper work on Thursday.  YES!! I have the final okey dokey from our medical insurance. They will be covering my fat ass with a great big blanket so I don’t show the world every little detail 100%. Very happy here, donchaknow.
I passed my physical and everything is looking great for the surgery. I am just a bit scared cause you never know what will happen while I‘m out cold. Shit, they could take pictures of me in awkward poses and have them on Facebook and Youtube before I get home. Who knows.

What I’m doing with my fat fluffy ass much later today: I will be doing some minor house cleaning and getting laundry done so David can relax this weekend and not work so hard. But I know only so well that he will be out at Home Desperate getting some more carpet grass and finishing up a small area he started last week. The man is so fucking anal. 

What I’m reading: I love this woman!! She is awesome!!

Crazy shit I am putting up with: David wants me to stay in bed so I don’t hurt my back any further. Like, how the hell can I hurt something that’s already fucking messed up. Sure, I’m in a lot of pain, but I’m getting used to it. Ahahahahahahahahaasnort.  Sorta like a sadomasochist.

Anywho, he calls me every two or three hours to see if I need anything. I really think he’s bored shitless with the all day meetings he has to go to this week before he takes time off on Thursday. He just wants out of them now. Too bad, so sad, yadda, yadda, yadda.

What’s for dindin: I haven’t really had an appetite lately cause of the pain. But I will bet David finishes his favorite leftovers tonight. He has this thing for “Beans and Meat”. Yeppers, that’s what he calls it. It’s a pound of ground beef with half of a medium onion, diced, cooked up and then you add a can of Pork n’ Beans to it. Fill the can half way with water and add that to it. Then add three slices of Kraft American Cheese to IT. Stir until the cheese melts and blends with the concoction and let simmer for ten minutes on low heat. While it simmers add seasonings to taste. I know, I know!! But David makes this shit and eats it, not me. I guess this is his version of Shit on a Shingle.

Crazy shit I'm thinking about:  Mmkay. Those wacky Christians are at it again. Yeppers. This Saturday is "Rapture Saturday"!! Yes ma'am. Be there or be left behind to suffer with the other ungodly bunch. I guess that's us,or is it just me. Shit I'm still trying to take over Hell. It's not easy trying to win votes by getting ice water and air conditioning for all those ungrateful demons. Bastards!!

Then there is Trump. That orange faced asswipe finally came to his senses. He has decided to not run for president in 2012. Wow!! Did he really think we would vote for someone who wears a Honey Bear Hamster pelt sown into his head as hair. And that tan!! He looks like leader of the Umpa Lumpas. It's either a really bad spray on tan or someone has an issue with orange makeup. At least I won't have to see his orange puckered face on TV. No I don't watch The Apprentice. It's stupid to see all those people backstabbing each other. Someone throw his puckered silly lips up on a wall and time how long he hangs there. Hang time should be at least a good 15 minutes. Just sayin.


  1. Hey, Mazoltov with your surgery! My Russian grandma-nana always said you never fuck with the russian juju. I despise shows like the apprentice, such losers all of them with the exception of the donald who knows how to parlay a party full of nonames into a windfall. You have him faced asswipe had me spewing ice tea out of my nose when I read it. Listen to your David and stay in bed and take care of yourself. The winged monkeys need you up and about without issue. Sea Witch

  2. I'd give Trump at least a good 30 minutes... if not more... o_O

    And fear not, you'll not be left all alone on Saturday... I'll be here with ya! Mwahahahahaha... Hope all goes well with the surgery, you'll be in my thoughts!


  3. I didn't think he was actually going to run. He did it all for the publicity. I'm not a fan of the apprentice. Nor have I ever watched it. Short of clips on random other shows. But I'm guessing the ratings were a bit low. And he comes up with the idea of running for pres....well making people think he was running for president.

    I'll be here with you on Saturday. Let's have a post-rapture party or something.


let 'er rip

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