I did a sashay across the floor like I was modeling the latest fashions while Becky(not real name) was introducing me in a cute voice. "Here's Leeanna, wearing what everyone should be wearing this summer in the OR. Made of cotton, this cute little light blue number also has two sets of belt ties for what you want to or not want to show in the surgical suite. The matching hair bonnet comes in blue to match the your outfit. Dark blue booties are optional."
She came over to help me get into the bed and started to put the white hose on my legs and tickling my feet just for grins. She said there is also a hot pink tutu with black lace and sequins that I get with the stockings. I was all so happy. We got along very nicely. Laughing and joking. Personally I think it was what they gave me in my IV that made me laugh so fucking much.
She said that they will need to get my waist measurement for my back corset later when I go to pee before they take me into surgery. She also said that it would be over nighted to my house and I need to wear that thing everytime I walk or sit but not in bed. It's a backbrace corset like what the people who lift heavy loads wear.
Anywho, after they prepped me and sat me up and then gave me a pain shot, Becky went to the waiting room and brought David in to sit with me for another hour. While he was there I started laughing at the strangest shit. I really do think it was the drug they injected. I told David about the nurses and the fashion show, the tutu that I was getting. He just shook his head and looked at the IV bag to see what I was getting.
Funny things started happening and I couldn't stop laughing. Like when I leaned forward to fix my stockings then I leaned back against the pillow and it let out some air like a whoopie cushion. It was hilarious. I did it twice and all I could do was laugh so hard I had tears running down my face. Then David starting hitting me on my arm with the disconnected air hoses from the blood pressure cuff. I was yelling spousal abuse, spousal abuse and the girls were laughing. Becky said I was the funniest patient they had ever had.
Anywho that ugly prickly thing was the size of a large pea with all kinds of little spikes sticking out of it. Doc said that I should be up and walking by Friday and I am. It feels good to have no pain or buzzing running up and down my legs. AND NO MORE LYING IN BED ALL FUCKING DAY LONG!!!
He also told me no lifting, pulling, pushing and no bending over to touch my toes or exercise for three weeks, at which time I will see Dr. G and have my staples out. Hopefully I will be totally pain free by that time. Goddess, please hear me. Make this the last time I have to have any surgeries for like forever.
Now today I feel better. I want so much to go for a walk around the block. But I better not do that yet. I don't want any problems. I still have pills to take like my pain meds and antibiotics. I have a bit of hoarseness from the intubation during surgery but other then that I feel great. Thank you all for the well wishes I really appreciate them. They help me to know I have such sweet cool friends like y'all. Thank you so much for all the love. Okay what did I get on the humble meter?