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violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Please, Just Shoot My Ass Now

I need a good friend with a gun and a steady hand. Yes, someone to fuckin shoot my poor fluffy fat ass right now before Friday afternoon. That's the time David will be home at the start of a whole week off for the Fourth of July Holiday. Every year he gets a certain amount of weeks off paid holiday and this will be one of them.

You know what that means?  Yeppers, I will be responsible for any and all appendages and blood spilling that happens for the next nine days and nights. Oh yes, it's my turn to watch him.

The last time he had time off from a holiday was when he lopped off his pointer finger at the second knuckle while attempting to make Adirondack chairs, which he never finished. Personally I still need to sell that saw. I don't know what he is going to get into this coming week so I better be on my toes. This is going to be exhausting.


  1. Ready and able - yer just going to need to drive to Delaware to be put out of your misery. Can you just lock him in a padded room the whole time?

  2. Ropes and bondage, for his own good.

  3. Duct tape + chair = quiet holiday!

  4. AAHAhahahhahahaaa! So many great ideas. I might apply one of them if things get ugly around here.

  5. ...or we could just shoot him...


let 'er rip

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