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violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Be Vewy Vewy Quiet. I'm Searching For Chinese Amawican Gold. Huh huh Huh huh huh!

I was thinking of taking a drive over to New Braunfels to the HEB and Wally World to find something that has completely become like gold. I mean to tell ya it's fucking precious. People are hording this shit, they must be. Some stupid fat assed bitch with coupons is clearing the shelves of this stuff and I can't find ONE box to save my sorry craving life.

What am I talking about?  Wanchai Ferry Kung Pao Chicken. It's my favorite Bow wow Meow meow food ever! I can make it spicy or so fucking hot it burns your butt hairs off when you take a shit. It's the best ever!!

Yes, I know. I always make my own Bow wow Meow meow.  But I can never get this sauce just the right flavor. I screw it up every time and waste a complete meal. I'm an utter failure at Kung Pao sauce.

So David being the most fantastic hubby/plaything ever, went to and put us on A FUCKING WAITING LIST for it!!!  WTF!!!!  It's even on a shortage on Amazon! SHIT!!!! I'll probably get struck by lightning before I get another box of this stuff.


  1. Mmmmm, now I want kung pao chicken! And a big pat on the taint to David for thinking ahead. This is what saves you from the box of shame, my friend. Enjoy your spiciness, Evil Overlord! :-)

  2. I was just bitching about the same thing... my freaking hair color is GONE! It's like searching for the golden grale to find it! I hate when they do stuff like that!!!!


let 'er rip

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