MY MINIONS

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Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Oy!! I'm Back!

First off I would like to thank all my readers and friends for the well wishes. Y'all are so sweet. Yes my name is Patricia but I like to use my middle name Leeanna for this blog. Right now it's a bit of work getting around but I'm walking and still  sore from the fall.

Yes, my fat ass fell on the evening of Jan 1st. I was closing the drapes to keep out the cold in the media room before bedtime and my left ankle got wrapped up in the wire from the little heater we use to keep the puppies warm in that room. Well I took one step and was down on the floor screaming in pain. I landed on my left knee and the impact dislocated it. David called an ambulance because there was no way we could try to make it to the car. So I was in the ER at 9:45 at night all doped up with pain killers and no place to go. They called my Orthopedic doctor in and he said the only way to fix it was surgery.

My new walker
So I was in the hospital up until this morning. David broke me out of the joint. What a way to start a new year. It sucks stinky canal water because I'm back to walking with the walker and my leg feels like it was pulled off at the knee. Thank the Goddess for great pain killers. What I really am thankful for is all the well wishes. Thanks soooooooooo much. Y'all are the best!

12 comments:

  1. OMG! I have been so sick and out of touch I didn't know anything about this. I've not even read any blog posts so had no idea if I missed any of yours or not. Glad to know you are home and on the mend. Feel better real soon and get back to writing!! Love you bunches!

    Oh Yeah! I haven't forgotten the award you gave me, (THANKS AGAIN) just been too sick to sit up let alone try to write. Today is the first day I've been out of bed for more than 15 minutes at a time and the first day at the computer. I'll get to it... soon...

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  2. oh no....how awful! i hope you are back on your broom soon!

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  3. Well, isn't that a sonovabitchin' way to start off the New Year. Your poor knees have been through so much already! I hope you heal soon without complications.

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  4. I thought it was all a ruse and that you and yours had run off to Colorado to try Designer Weed. Sorry, good to know you are still alive.

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  5. Since I can't send real flowers, here are some virtual ones.

     .。ﻬ⌄*❈;⌄.     
    ⋱჻*✿❃჻❁*⋰  
    *❁჻✽❀✾჻✿      
     ╰╮╭╯     
      ✓ℑ╲

    Glad your back home but damn... that is a hell of a way to start a new year.

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  6. Hopefully this means you've gotten the worst of the year out of the way right at the begining!

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  7. Awwwwww, thanks so much everybody. The flowers are so cool, Birdie. Y'all are so sweet.

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  8. Oh wow, PaLee (your celebrity hybrid name), that gave me anus-quivers it sounded so painful. Hopefully you're all patched up and it's just a matter of rehabing at this point? I hope? Breaking out of a hospital is kind of a cool way to start the new year. It's all in how you frame the story.
    Here's to a speedy recovery for you...and if you, y'know, if you maybe have any left over pain killers, I'm not saying you SHOULD give them to me, but I COULD send you a return envelope with all measures taken to assure it's not a felony.Think of it as recycling.
    Speedy recovery. Again. Of course. No ulterior motives.

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  9. Healing vibes for a full recovery. Glad to hear you are back home.
    Get well soon!

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  10. So glad to see you still have a great sense of humor in the face of adversity! Your husband is a man of many words, lol. I thought maybe your back was an issue again, but never would have guessed a fall. Glad your guy was there to call in the Cavalry. Feel better quick!!

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  11. What a lame way to start the New Year. No, I don't mean you are personally lame, the accident was lame. Damn electrical cords always waiting to lasso your ankles. Maybe you were just being efficient & getting rid of your bad luck early in the year, so the next 11.7 months will be accident free?
    Kneecaps are such useless pieces of bone & they cause so much pain & trouble for people. Kneecaps are what's called an sesamoid bone which means a residual bone we still have from back when the cave woman was evolving. It is shrinking over the thousands of years since we actually needed a kneecaps, but now that we walk upright they serve no purpose other than to dislocate & cause us pain.. Yup, kneecaps/patellas are a part pf the anatomy that doesn't help us at all, but we still get a free pair with every body. Although I do feel it fills in an otherwise dip at the knee joint. On the other hand, if the kneecap disappeared like it is trying to do ever so slowly, those dips in our knee could come in handy as drink holders or a place to put snacks in during movie watching. It makes me sad that you went though all this hospital crap & hellacious pain because of a bone that is useless. Keep all your pain meds for yourself. I've dislocated mine a few times and know they hurt like hell & back. Milk your unfortunate cirsumstance for all it's worth. Have people tripping over themselves leaping to get you a drink, snacks, ice bags & fluff your pillows. If the help is moving too slow, whine & threaten to get up & get it yourself. Lastly, do not let people know you are improving or as soon as they see you are able to move on your own, they will interpret that as being totally well & back to normal = no more help or cutting you slack. The only way to recover gradually is to not let on that you are doing better until you are totally well. It's unfortunate that people believe that taking a step without the walkers equals full recovery, but that's the average person's logic at work.
    It's a shame that common household accidents are not as glorified as injuring yourself in some more exciting manner. Here is an alternative version of your accident you can tell to people you want to impress:
    " We were staying at our vacation home in Vale and one day we were bored & decided to do some extreme skiing, so Hubby and I decided to jump onto a virgin wilderness slope from our private plane at an altitude of 9 million feet. My landing was perfect and after outracing an avalanche, a 7 foot tall snarlinh black bear charged me from a stand of for trees to my right. I used my ski poles to fend off the attack & subdue the beast, but by than I there was a boulder the size of a bus in my path and I had to turn so sharply to avoid the rock that I suddenly felt my knee give way. I slid 500 feet, nearly falling in a bottomless cravasse and finally slid to a stop, By then witnesses told me I appeared lifeless & they assumed I was dead, Once, I was revived and airlifted to the hospital it was told my injury would require surgery.I sobbed wondering if I would ever extreme ski again. Luckily a World famous orthopaedic surgeon was staying at the resort and offered to performed the surgery. He told me that I was very fortunate and that he had done everything possible to stabilze my patella. Otherwise, I might never be able to ski at all and I don't think I would have the will to recover except for knowing I will be back on the slopes next season.
    There - doesn't that sound better than " My ankle got twisted in a an electrical cord". A little embellishing never hurt anyone.
    It stinks that you got hurt. I really hope you heal quickly & feel better soon.

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  12. Glad you're home. Even if you're a bit worse for wear. Sending healing energy your way!

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let 'er rip

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