MY MINIONS

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Thursday, May 31, 2018

Fuck You - I Had Stuff to Do

Sorry, I'm posting a little late today but I had to run errands and get my blood drawn again for my doctor's appointment next week. My appointment with my Orthopedic surgeon yesterday went fine. I told him that I have MCTD. He was more interested in the MCTD and the changes that I made in my lifestyle and diet than anything else. He was telling me he is trying to change his diet to a more plant-based diet and wanted to know what I was doing. Otherwise, I have to come back to see him in 6 weeks to see if I'll have surgery or not.
I have to tell all y'all this one true story. It made me laugh when it happened. 
Yesterday, when we got back from the doctor's office, I took Lucy out so she could do her business. She has had the stinky poots something awful since David gave her a bit of his Summer Sausage that he buys from Walmart. It stinks to high heaven and even worse when Lucy has some. Anywho, Lucy was standing under the pecan tree and she farted and I mean loudly. At that moment 3 little birds fell out of the pecan tree and started flapping their wings wildly like fish out of water. They flew away when they heard me laugh. I brought Lucy in and told David what happened and he laughed but in reality, the birds were fighting and fell coincidently at the right time. They were flapping around trying to get their bearings because they hit the ground so hard. It was just so funny because it all came together at the right time. You just can't make this shit up.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

It's Tuesday - I Ain't Got Nuthin


Starbucks is closed today to teach their workers to be less biased or should that word be prejudiced. Yeah, right. As long as that Screaming Carrot Demon in the Oval Office continues to spew forth hate against Blacks, Hispanics, Muslims and Women, and until he and his enabling republicunt cronies are taken out of office we will have this fucking crap continuing. REGISTER and VOTE IN NOVEMBER!!! VOTE BLUE!!!
Okay, I'm done ranting. This past weekend I just relaxed and let David do his laundry. The only time I did anything was on Monday. Saturday I had a nasty migraine that nearly tried to take over my weekend. I nipped it fast. I still have a headache but it's a crying kitten trying in vain to get out of its cage. I've been taking aspirin to keep it controlled and it seems to be working. I was also feeling awful like I needed to go lie on the sofa for a bit. I wasn't feeling so great. It was almost flu-like so I had to take a nap and it seemed to work.  It's all part of the MCTD thingy I guess.
I'm wearing my leg brace like a good girl. I was walking without my brace last night to the bathroom to take a shower and for some reason, my knee slipped and slightly bent to the left inwards. Scared the fucking shit balls out of me. Why the fuck would my knee bend unnaturally sideways? I have a question about that when I see my Orthopedic surgeon tomorrow afternoon. I still worry when I'm not wearing it at night so I always leave the bedroom door open and I take my cane when I leave to get water from the kitchen. Otherwise, I still have another month and a half to wear this thing. 

Monday, May 28, 2018


Sunday, May 27, 2018

Thursday, May 24, 2018

MCTD

Oh, so close but still wrong. Remember a few weeks ago when I said I went to see a specialist on autoimmune diseases? That doctor prescribed Plaquenil, had me get like 23 x-rays until I glowed and had me drawn for 14  or so vials of blood by Dracula. Well, David and I went back to see him yesterday. Guess what? This doctor actually found out what's bothering me. Yes. Yes, he did. It isn't fibromyalgia. It isn't MS. It's MCTD. Go ahead, Google it, I'll wait. Did you find it? It's Mixed Connective  Tissue Disease for those of you who didn't look it up. Lazy fuckers. 
Anywho, MCTD is a variation of SLE or Lupus. MCTD can mimic fibro and this nasty fucker can develop over time into full-blown Lupus. You can die from it but it's like I have a better chance of dying of old age first.  So, I actually have something real that is bothering me. Why couldn't it be a chocolate deficiency? 
All this time being out in the sun I never thought I had anything to worry about. Now I have to avoid the sun or I'll have a Lupus flare. I now understand why I'm so tired all the time for no reason, the brain fog, forgetfulness, headaches, ice cold hands and feet, why I don't feel hungry, swollen fingers, pain in my joints and muscle weakness, and let's not forget my lovely friend Insomnia. Sounds like fun, huh? 
Well, since I know what's fucking me over, do I get an extra spoon? Just wondering . . . for a friend . . . you know.


**Special Note**
I'm not writing all my health issue shit on my blog because I want attention or sympathy. I'm doing this as a side record for myself and for others with autoimmune diseases. This is to teach and inform. This is not a fucking pity party. If you think you might have fibro or something bothering you, go get the proper tests done by a doctor that knows autoimmune diseases. If he/she doesn't have your blood drawn or x-rayed until you're your own night light, to have half a trillion fucking tests done to find out what's eating you from the inside out then move on and find another doctor. It will be worth the money, time and pain in the long run.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Monday, May 21, 2018

Monday- Stuff and Thangs


I woke up a bit late this morning and right away I started cleaning and I had one last load of wash to finish today. Lucy right away was giving me flack for not taking a rest now and then and I think I should have listened to her. I wasn't wearing my brace and my knee gave out again but this time I was hanging on to the washer when I almost fell. I promptly put the brace on and sat down for a bit before continuing my cleaning. I then noticed I hadn't watered my houseplants for almost 2 weeks so I filled a pitcher with water and gave them all a nice drink. Lucy gave up on me and curled up on the sofa and took a nap. Lazy little girl. So now I'm sitting next to her typing away and loving the quiet that is this house. 
It's overcast and muggy from the humidity this morning. I can hear the distant thunder just south of us. I checked the weather map and it showed a storm near the coast. That's a good 100 miles at least and yet it's so quiet today that I can hear the rumbling. Yesterday we had thunderstorms and rain off and on all day long. It was refreshing to have the rain put an end to all the pollen flying around. The roses in our front yard certainly loved the rain. They are blooming like crazy again and my little lemon trees loved that rain too. I will have to get David to move a couple of bags of potting soil for me so I can repot them when I get back from my doctor's office on Wednesday. I have to repot the ficus and I also need to repot my hanging baskets too. Since David will be off on Wednesday, I want him to cut the overgrowth of the wisteria in the front garden away from the window. It's nice to have the shade but I can barely see out. I also have to have him cut the climbing roses back a little because it's gone crazy and attacking the pecan tree. Well, I have to fold some towels now. The wash is done and I'll just read for my free time. Y'all have a magical day.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Thursday, May 17, 2018

I Didn't Feel Like It and a Recipe

I wasn't going to post today. I just didn't feel like it. Yesterday I had a killer headache that I thought would turn into a migraine but I tackled it in its tracks. It's down to a dull thump now. I was also going to do some laundry today instead of tomorrow but I don't feel like it. Yeah, I don't really give a fuck today.
David sent me this weird story about 6 baby squirrels that had their tails stuck together. Apparently, their tails became entangled by tree sap. You have to read the story here. It's strange but it seems to happen now and then. Freaky, huh?
Tonight I'm making a Tex-Mex casserole for David. He loves this one. Preheat oven to 375. In a large **deep skillet, brown 1 pound of very lean ground beef and break it up small with the spoon as it browns. Dice up small 1/2 cup yellow onion, diced small 1/2 cup each red and green bell peppers and add to the ground beef. Salt and pepper to taste. Mix in one package of McCormick Taco Seasoning, 1 teaspoon chili powder, 1 teaspoon ground cumin, 1 cup Kraft Mexican Style Shredded Cheese, 1 cup uncooked long grain white rice, 1 can (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes, 1 and 1/2 cup frozen corn,  and 1 and 1/2 cups of reduced sodium chicken broth or homemade low sodium chicken broth. mix well and cook while you get a 13x9 inch baking dish sprayed with cooking spray. Spoon into baking dish, cover and bake for 50 to 60 minutes or until rice is cooked. Cover with more Kraft Mexican Styled cheese and bake until cheese is melted. Serve with refried beans. This serves 6 people and is great as leftovers.

** I hate using extra dishes when I cook. So, if you want to do as I do and the deep skillet is oven proof or if you use a 4 to 6-inch deep cast iron frying pan and it has no lid, just use foil to cover the pan and bake. 

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Monday, May 14, 2018

Monday Shit n Stuff

It's overcast today. Just like yesterday. It's nice, not too hot, not too cool. I was sitting outside and almost forgot, shit balls, I have a blog to write. I really didn't want to go in the house. The sun was peaking in and out of the clouds. A perfect day. The quiet days are coming to an end because the kids in the neighborhood are out for summer vacation now. Lazy summer days have started early.
I finally have gotten used to walking with the leg brace. It was quite cumbersome for the first few days but I'm used to walking without stretching my leg out which is the norm now. I was able to stand for a while longer too. Usually, I was out of breath because learning to shorten my gait meant having to take more steps. I'm not sure why I was using so much energy and out of breath but I've learned to conserve my energy while walking and I'm not as breathless. When I'm not wearing the brace like before bedtime, I find myself still walking as if I had the brace on. Strange shit y'all. My leg still hurts from the pulled hamstring but it's mostly at night in bed when I'm not wearing the brace. The pain keeps me up for hours and my pain meds are not working. I need to find a way to fight this problem.
Over the weekend David let me sleep late and I was grateful for it. He actually cleaned the house, completed the laundry, did the grocery shopping and then weeded the yard and mowed the lawn. He did so much that I had nothing to do. I was a lady of leisure the whole weekend. I asked him not to get me anything for mother's day but he did anyway. His excuse was the puppies twisted his arm and gave him money to buy a card and my favorite chocolates. Yeah, according to David, the puppies are selling catnip to the neighborhood cats and the cats are hooked. Lucy is also hooking on the corner. 
Well, I have to go do my exercises for my knee and then I promised to take Lucy to the dog park for a while. Y'all have a magical day.







Sunday, May 13, 2018

Friday, May 11, 2018

Devotion and Homicide and Other Stuff

Yesterday, Carol Pavlik, one of my readers, commented that,
"Marriage is a balance between devotion and homicide."
So true. Yes, my devotion in figuring out how to kill David without leaving clues or witnesses. But it can't be too hard. I've seen enough Dexter videos to give me an idea how to do it. It's just the timing of when. But enough daydreaming for me here.
I just got back from having all those vials drawn from me. If I were to have Dracula bite me right now he would say I'm a pint low. They drew only 14 vials. I thought it would be more but they doubled up on a few of the tests. 
Right now, I'm lying on the sofa with my knee on a pillow and nurse Lucy sleeping by my foot. She's sleeping on the job and I won't wake her up because she follows me everywhere. The pain in my leg is subsiding a little bit. Walking with the brace helps. When I sit, my leg feels tired. I guess it's from lugging this monstrosity of a brace when I walk. But I'm grateful because now I can walk without the worry of my knee bending the wrong way. No more falling for me.
Well, this is enough sitting for a while I have to do some laundry and go get the mail. Y'all have a magical day.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Recap- David will have to die

I'm back home again. I have my brace on my leg and it's set so I cant hyperextend my leg when I walk. It will take some time to get used to it. The doctor took almost an hour to get it right but thank the Goddess it's mine and I'm finished. Now I have to wear this thing for about 8 weeks and hope the tendons and ligaments heal. 
David was being a real shithead when we were walking in the parking lot from the car to the doctor's office this morning. He was warning me of rocks, pebbles and little pieces of leaves and twigs so I don't slip or trip on them as I walked to the entrance. I could have killed him. He can be such an old shit bag. Now he calls me Hop-along. I'm going to have to make it look like an accident with no witnesses. 

Quick Note of What's Going On

I went to see my orthopedic surgeon yesterday and found out that I pulled ligaments and so on in the knee that keeps it from hyperextending or bending the wrong way like a chicken leg. I busted the poor thing and in order to fix it, I will have to wear a knee brace for 6 to 8 weeks. This is the usual treatment but if this doesn't work it's knee surgery for me. So today I have to go get fitted for a knee brace. I'm not happy but if it works then okay let's at least try it. I also have knee exercises to do every morning. 
I will let y'all know later. Right now I have to go exercise and then get ready to go get my knee brace. Update later today. Play nice. 

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Opps! I Did it Again

"Please don't get upset . . . but . . . I fell again." Those were the exact words I uttered when phoned my husband, David yesterday afternoon. Yes. I fell but this time it wasn't on anything slippery like water. This time my right leg did the "chicken" and bent backward instead of frontwards when I took a step into the laundry room. I was more scared than hurt. My first thought was that I left the phone on the coffee table in the living room. I was thinking, oookay, I'm screwed now. The second thing I wondered was why did I not hurt so bad when I fell on my ass. I then reached back and found the bag of tortilla chips I was going to put away was underneath me and flat as a pancake. I landed on the new bag and it cushioned my landing. They paid a terrible price for saving my ass from added pain. Poor tortilla chips gave their life for me. I decided to check my legs and I was fine. Then, I pivoted my butt around so I could pull myself up by clutching onto the washer. I grabbed my cane to test the waters so to speak and took a step with my left good leg first. So far so good. Now my bad leg. Not so bad, I could walk but be mindful of my steps. I grabbed my tea and walked oh so carefully by keeping my right knee bent, to the sofa and called David. After I hung up with him I called my knee surgeon's office and made an appointment to see him on Wednesday. He will be so thrilled to see me. I'm thinking I'm financing his vacation home or boat. Whatever. So I will let all y'all know what will happen on Thursday morning. So far, I'm hurting again in my right knee today. That means I have to be mindful of how I walk. No stairs unless David helps me and I need to keep my leg up on a pillow. David will Have to cook until I can get used to walking on the pain again. 
So I'm cutting this short and going back to the bedroom to put my leg up. Sorry y'all.

Monday, May 7, 2018

Monday - I'm going back to bed

It's Monday. I survived the weekend. I didn't have to use my bail money, hide a body or go to the ER. *knock wood* David pretty much handled everything this weekend with my hollerin at him to do it. But things got done. I actually made dinner. YES! Yes, I did. It wasn't much though. I just made a salad and sloppy joe's. I cheated using Manwich. Yes, I cheated. I used canned. Believe me, when I say this, David loves canned but he loves it more when I make the sauce from scratch using tomatoes. Even though making dinner was easy, I was so tired after getting dinner ready that I didn't want to eat. Trying to stand or walk on a badly pulled hamstring takes up all my energy. I had to go lie down with my leg up for 10 minutes before serving dinner. I'm so grateful for David because he understands.
Sometime this week, I have to go get blood drawn. 14 vials of it. I'm seeing a new specialist and he wants the testing all done before I go back to see him. So I need to get me some orange juice and cookies for when I finish letting them bleed me dry. Fucking vampires.
Bed Hog aka Lucy
I didn't sleep well last night because a certain little bed hog somehow opened up the bedroom door and took over the bed. I ended up watching the news at 2:20 this morning. Now, this little bed hog knows she's not supposed to come into the bedroom and sleep with David and me unless it's thundering or there are fireworks. I still don't know how she got past the child gate either. We made it climb proof. You know, barbed wire, landmines, man-eating Gestapo dogs and a steaming hot bathtub full mind altering bath bubbles. How she got through all that we don't understand. All I have to say is tonight before we go to bed, I need to add piranha. Y'all have a magical day. I'm going back to bed for a quick nap.




Sunday, May 6, 2018

Religion in a Nutshell

For my brother, Satan's Spawn.


Friday, May 4, 2018

May The 4th Be With You

Today is Star Wars Day. Need I say more.














May the 4th be with y'all


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