New Minions Orientation

I have noticed that new minions have joined the ranks. Welcome minions. As usual you have not been given an orientation so I will give it to you now.
(insert maniacal laughter here)

• You must work 24/7 without pay.
• You must be able to sacrifice yourselves and endure a very messy and painful death.
• All weirdos and groupies please leave. You are not acceptable to me and my plot to take over the Universe.
• Your costumes along with your laser death ray gun will arrive in the mail in about 6 to 8 weeks, give or take a month.
• You are not allowed to wear a cape. Only I can wear the cape.

I am your Supreme Leader-The Queen Of Fucking Everything (insert maniacal laughter here). You will obey my orders and only my orders. Do Not Ever listen to my mom or you will endure "The Very Messy and Painful Death".
(insert maniacal laughter here)