It's Monday and I'm Screwed

So far, I'm not dead. Yet. But on Saturday morning I got up at 8:38 and all hell broke loose. I mean to tell you it did. To begin with, I went into the kitchen with my water jug and I wasn't paying attention to where I was stepping. I stepped on one of Spunky's wet pee pads which caused my right leg to go one way and my body another. In other words, I did the splits and then I passed out because something popped in my right leg. I woke up around 9 am from passing out. David wasn't home, he had gone to get the washer I asked him to buy and he wouldn't be home for hours. I couldn't move, my right leg hurt so bad that when I tried to get up, I nearly passed out again from the pain. 

So I sat on the kitchen floor assessing my options. Okay, no phone in my possession, only my water jug about 6 feet away. Get the water jug. I got it with some really good reaching skills and the cloth shopping bags on the kitchen stool in front of me. Thank the Goddess the lid never came off of the water jug so I had a really good amount of water. Next was to assess my predicament and try to stand. Nope, that wasn't going to work. The pain was excruciating. Then the only thing I could do was scoot on my ass backwards into the hall and keep my right leg bent so it wouldn't cause pain. I had to get to the phone and the shortest way was through the hall. Keeping the leg bent kept me from experiencing pain. I used my arms to drag myself into the hall. But by the time I got to the bathroom doorway I had passed out because I extended the leg and all kinds of flashing lights and sparks flashed before my eyes. I then passed out again. I never made it to the phone in the bedroom.

When David finally came home he was ringing the doorbell frantically thinking it was funny. He had backed his pickup truck to the front porch. I was yelling as loud as I could for him to come help me. He never understood what I was trying to say. He finally went around the house and came in through the kitchen door. I yelled for him to be careful of the wet floor and that I was in the hall. He came in and I calmly told him to bring me some water from the kitchen because I was so thirsty, which he did. Then he asked me what happened and started making jokes and I told him I didn't need any sarcasm from him. I then told him to get the washer into the house, move his truck to the driveway and then bring me a chair so I can try to get up. He did that without saying a word. I tried to get up and couldn't. Either I broke my right femur because the pain was in the back of my upper thigh or I pulled or tore my muscles in the hamstring area. I told David to get a dish towel and wet it with cold water and bring it to me because I was about to pass out again. The towel helped and I asked David to call 911 because trying to get up was not in my stars at the moment. He was almost in a tizzy fit because this had happened while he was gone. 

I was sitting in the hallway while he called 911 and gave them information on my predicament. In less than 2 minutes I could hear the sirens blaring towards the house. David said the firetruck pulled up and then the ambulance. There were six guys trying to figure out how to get me out of the hall and onto the gurney without hurting me. Let me just say those EMS and Firemen were buff as fuck. So good looking too. They all ROCK! They got the dining room chair and put it in back of me near the bedroom door. When 2 guys on either side of me and 2 guys with my legs lifted me oh so carefully. It was awesome until I was put onto the chair. then I passed out. By the time I came too they had a blood pressure cuff on me, had taken my blood sugar and had an O2 canula on me and my vitals were being radioed to the hospital. They then moved me and the chair to the gurney in the dining room where they lifted me again and I was put onto the gurney and I was strapped in. 

They got me out of the house and into the ambulance. They were so good at their job trying to make the ride as comfortable as possible but let me tell you, an ambulance ride is not the most comfortable ride ever. I felt every bump and grind. Don't they have shocks on those buggers? Anyways, they unloaded me and brought me into the ER. They put me in room 13, nice huh? I noticed it was about 12:43 pm on the wall clock.  There was another patient that everyone was tending to in the room next door. Poor little girl screaming her head off in pain. I figured it was a little girl because I'd worked in ER's long enough to know the age and sex of a child when they scream out in pain. She was probably 5 to 7 years old. From what I heard, it was an ATV accident and she either broke an arm or leg in the rollover. While they were assessing her injuries I was wheeled into x-ray. It was painful for 25 minutes then I was rolled back to my room. 

When the doctor came into the room he assessed my leg problem and told me the x-rays proved there was nothing cracked or broken. He then said I must have either pulled the hamstring muscles and or ligaments when I hyperextended the leg. He said he would send someone in to give me a painkiller to make me feel better and then have it wrapped with an ace bandage and he left the room. A nurse gave me a shot of a painkiller in my ass about 15 minutes later and the pain began to subside. Another nurse came in with a rehab person and they wrapped my leg. About 3:50 a nurse came in with my discharge papers and instructions and David signed me out. He then went to get the car and the nurse wheeled me outside and we went to DQ for dinner. When we finally got home, David brought the walker that I had for when I had knee surgery out to the car and we went inside to eat. It was now 4:30pm. What a waste of a day.

So that was my Saturday. Sunday is for tomorrows blog. I'm closing down now and going to catch a few ZZZZ's Y'all be safe.