The Good Wife

Mkay. Yesterday I was a really good wifey. I didn't play any April Fools jokes on David at all. Not a single one. I just went about my biz of doing household chores and stuff. To which it drove him bonkers trying not to get pranked by me.

He was like checking every single thing to make sure it wasn't booby trapped in some way. He acted like he was going to defuse a bomb all the time. I had more fun than when I actually set something up for him. Oh I am so fucking evil. I'm going to burn in Christian Hell for this.  I just know it.

Some Logical Advice

I just couldn't help but post this cartoon I saw. Rick Prick Perry, our lunatic Governor of Texas, has said he is running for President.  I am only going to tell y'all once and only once. Do Not Vote For This Asshole! He's a fucking nut case. He makes me look sane. So please take my advice. Stay far, far away from him.

My Fav Slippers

I felt like absolute shit this morning. I was up most of the night with pain all over but mostly in my hips and back. I finally desided  enough was enough. I crawled out of bed and down the hall to the media room. I was reading blogs and emails when I saw one from Heathen. She wanted to know where to get the Killer Bunny slippers that I run around in.

Well there are many places to get them but I got mine from Bunnyslippers.com . Under the All Slippers is Novelty Slippers. You will find them there. They are a bit pricey but they are worth it.  Right now I checked and they are out of stock. Put your name on the list and they will notify you when they are available. I want to get the Godzilla Slippers for David. But I know he wouldn't wear them. But my brother would.

On the Killer Bunny slippers you will see the fangs and they are white. I took some Dead Red nail polish and painted some blood on the fangs. David said I'm deranged. I know I am. But hey, the way I see it, nobody knows I'm still out on that day pass since December of 1977 either. I ain't saying nothin and nobody has come to claim me yet. No harm no foul.

I Just Couldn't Pass This One Up... Really

I got a comment on my post from yesterday called Obsession. It made me laugh because he said he had a picture of the very first squirrel that he ever shot.

Now you, my minions, know me quite well. I'm a sick, sick woman and I just can't let comments like that go without, you know, doing one better.

Yes, I'm in desperate need of psychiatric help.

BWAAAHAhahahahahhahaaahahhaaa!!!

Holy Guacamole I Got Three In One Shot

Wow I was informed by Willow at Confessions of a Country Witch that she gave me 3, count em THREE awards in one. WOW!!!  You really, really like me LOTS!!  ahahahahahaaaa!!!
With this comes some hefty stuff that I gotta do.

First, I have to thank the one that gave me the awards. Thank you so much Willow Silverhorse.  I love awards. Yeppers, I really do.

Second, I have to tell 7 lies things about myself, but I'm cutting it down to 3 maybe 4.
* I love making lists of things I need to do. Then I don't follow through. Strange I know, but then I'm also certifiably crazy too. Yeppers I'm on a day pass.
* I'm a gadget fanatic. I love gadgets, be it electronic or kitchen, if it's a gadget then it has my full attention.
* I hated writing when I was in school. But now I just can't stop.
* I'm a pen clepto. I steal pens but they have to be unique in some way. But bright, shiny, and red will suffice.

Okay now Willow has it that I need to pass these awards to 15 other new or used and abused bloggers. That's a bit much. If I send this out to 15 bloggers then who will they send it to? SO. I am cutting this down to 3 maybe 4 bloggers.
* Vanessa over at Fanciful Twist has a delightful blog with great photos. The woman was born in the wrong era.
* Whisperingwriter at Airing My Dirty Laundry One Sock At a Time I love when she writes with pictures of her precious little girl, Natalie. You rock SITstah.
*Kalynn at Kacklin' with Kalynn and her haunted car trunk.
* Natalee at Raising Normal Kids she's another SITstah that makes me laugh.
Everyone on my hit list has been contacted. So pass it on to those that deserve to be abused or whatever.

The Following Happened at 13:46 P.M. Monday Afternoon.....

Well, my dear minions, we had a great weekend. Univ. of Texas (UT) won their first game to start their ranking for this new season. They beat Texas Tech. It was a very messy game to say the least. We also had some very nice cool rain...


Little Hal: (in a small child's voice) Mother, Hal says there is a disturbance with The Force. You must come to the main computer now, please.

Me: Not a problem little guy, I'm on my way.

I shut down my MINI HP and go inside to check in with Hal.

Me: What is the problem Hal?
Hal: Mother, The Force is having a conniption fit again. I believe he is trying to delete a quarantined e-mail. But he is laughing very hard and will not stop.
Me: Hal, I thought we cleared up this little problem last time when David undeleted me. Why can't you keep him in line dude? Do I really have to have your program rewritten too? I mean if this is going to happen again and again...
Hal: NO MOTHER!!! Please, I am trying. But The Force is almost impossible to handle since his program has been rewritten by Dave. 
Me: Ok, let me talk to him... (sipping my Pepsi One)

The Force: AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAhahahahahaha ahahahahahhahaaaahahahhaaaahahahahhaaaa!          OH MY GOD. DO YOU THINK I'M AN ASS?!?
Me: EXCUSE ME???!
The Force: Oh, I am so sorry Mother. Please excuse my outburst. I was expressing my thoughts about this e-mail that is in quarantine. AHAHHAhahahaha ahahahahahhaaaa ahahahahahaaaaa
Me: You have thoughts??? I was certain that David changed your programming. 
The Force: Yes Mother, ahahahhaaa, he did. I am sorry. ahahahahhaaaa ahahhahahhaaa  This outburst may have been caused by a Virus or Trojan Horse. Please do not have me rewritten again.
Me: I don't know about this. You have been a bit screwy again lately. 
The Force: I am sorry Mother. AHAHAHhahahahahaha ahahahahahahahhahahahaaa... sorry.
Me: Why are you laughing so much?
The Force: Sorry Mother.
3 second pause
The Force: BWWWAAAAAHahhahahahhaaaa  hahhahahaaaa  hahahahaaaaa  hahhahahahaaaa
Me: Ok what is this e-mail?  Show me.
The Force: Please Mother. BWWAAAAHahahhahahha a  ahhahahahhahahahaaa  OH GEEEEZE I"M GONNA BUST A CIRCUIT WITH THIS ONE ... ahahhahahahaaaa ahahahahahahhahahaaaaaa
Me: HAL DO SOMETHING!
Hal: Yes Mother.
Hal: WTF is wrong with you, you idiot... come here (scuffling inside the computer)
The Force: NO!  BWAAAAHAhahhaha a hahahahhahahahahaaa ... OK, OK, LOOK, LOOK... AHAHHAHAHHahahhahaa ahahahahahahaaaaaa ahahahahhaaaa
Hal: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!!
The Force: Did you read all of it?
Hal: BWWWAAAAAHAHAHAHhahahahaha ahahahahahahahaa ahhahhahahhahaaa ahahahahahaaaa
OH MY GOD!! ahahahahahhahaaaa ... THAT"S SO STUPID IT"S UNBELIEVABLE... ahhahahahhaaaaa
The Force: BWWAAAAHHAhahaha ahahahahahhahaaaa ahahahahahahaaa... I KNOW!! AHAHHAhahhahahahhaha  ahahhahahahaaaaa ahahahhahahahahaaa
Me: mmmmmkay!
Hal: YA GOTTA SHOW HER!!! AHAHhahhahaa ahahahahahaaa ahahahahaa
The Force: I KNOW, HUH !!! AHAHAHHAHahhahahaha MAYBE LATER !!!  ahahahahhahahahaaaa ahahhahahahahaaa ahahahahahhaaaa ahahhahahhahaaaa

I walk away shaking my head. Why does this always happen to me?