MY MINIONS

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Warning! - This Blog May Contain:

violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Spiders ... Yuck!!

 David and I were outside last night sitting in the courtyard talking and enjoying the evening.  It's very rare when I can actually sit outside with the hubster and have serious conversations about crazy people in our neighborhood, squirrels, the Mother Ship. You know, really serious stuff. Then we got to talking about what bugs we hated the most, and spiders came up in the conversation. I truly hate spiders. I don't care what size they are, I just hate the little fuckers. They're ugly and they were brought here by aliens to wipe us out. That's the bottom line. They don't belong on Earth.

My hate for them really started when we were stationed in Hawaii. Dad was in Korea at the time. It was a fun time to be eight years old. Except for the humongous fugly house spiders. Well there just happened to be one in the garage of my grandma's house. My sister pointed it out to me. There it was plastered on the ceiling.

Now the reason we were in there with the alien was because we had to get some things out of the car. My sister was scared to go in there because of the spider. I went into the car for her because that thing was way up high. It would take time for it to get down. So I got the books out of the car and I did something you never do in a garage in Hawaii with a big fucking ugly spider the size of a kitten, no doubt they eat them. I slammed the door of the car and it vibrated the garage.

That fucker jumped down from the ceiling and jumped on me and I started dancing around trying to beat the fucker off me. Sorta like Kermit, below. It didn't bite me or anything. It just jumped off me and ran away. But I can still remember the feel of that thing jumping on me. It really had some weight to it.


4 comments:

  1. I so relate! Me and spiders... we just don't get along. I've had a fear of them since I was a toddler and was approached by a HUGE tarantula.. of course it was giant sized, I was only maybe 2 feet tall LOL so it made a lasting impression. Weird things is though... I think Spider is my Totem.

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  2. That is the best story....I HATE spiders....and they seem to hate me. So I guess we are all on the same page.

    Thanks for sharing that story....and posting a Kermit video. You made the Frog Queen's day!!

    Cheers!

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  3. I'm fascinated by everything hairy, slithery, crawly, alien... ask my big brother, he'll tell you all about it, as his eyes fill with tears and his heart fills with memories of when I--absolutely by accident, of course--would make sure that a spider, little garden snake, and perhaps a baby mouse... or two, made it close enough to him to sent him screaming for mom. Some might consider this evil, but seriously, we all know I was just helping him with his Karate.

    Oh, when I was stationed in Hawaii, working underground in an armory, I kept a pet spider. Her name was Flying Monkey and she was the size of a plum ;-)

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  4. I LOVE SPIDERS! When I find one in the house I put it in a napkin then take it outside : ) I would have loved to have seen you dancing like kermit though. That boy's got the rhythm in him.

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let 'er rip

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