You Have Two Cows

My mind is not totally with me today cause of the meds for my back pain and sitting here typing is like pure torture. SOOOOO! I am going to put this post up fast. Some of you may have seen this before.  So sorry,  I posted this a long, long time ago in a land far, far away. There is just a bit more added to this one.

Funny Christian Shit

Angry Birds, Southern Dysfunction Style

Martina over at Southern Dysfunction had an Angry Birds rant going on. I was laughing my fat ass off at that rant until I remembered my own rant I had with David when I was playing AB on little Hal in the bedroom while I was lying on the heating pad for my pain in the ass back. He was wondering why I was screaming at the mini-laptop until he came to look for himself. He just walked away shaking his head and told the puppies that I finally lost it and that he would be taking care of them from now on.

Anywho her rant is priceless because it sounded like me last night. So you, my minions and lurkers have got to go check this funny as shit woman for yourselves.

Friday Funny

Come on Titan!  Flush out the bad guy.

Bite his ankles off, boy!

The Crazy Witches Daybook

My Mood:  Right now I'm all wide eyed and crazy. I just want to kill something or David, which ever comes first. The puppies are hiding under the dining room table. Poor babies.

What Pisses me off:  Not being able to do what I want. Like when I went outside to water the plants and then put the sprinkler out. WTF!  I cant get the sprinkler to unscrew from the hose. David probably put it on with a wrench, the shit! So I had to go get the other hose from the other side of the house. So I'm schlepping my fat ass with the other hose in tow all the way around the house and walk up to the spigot. Drop the other hose and I'm trying to unscrew the hose from it and I can't. Fuck you David!!! He put this bitch on so tight I can't get it off. To top it off I don't have the keys to his shed. He put them in his truck for some insane reason. 


So I get on the phone and ask him why he tightened the hose on the sprinkler. He said he didn't. LIAR!!  I threw the phone across the room, thank the Goddess it landed in a chair cushion. I get such a temper. I'm usually such a nice person. Went back outside and grabbed the hose and dragged it back to the otherside of the house, bitching and moaning all the way. The puppies are hiding cause they think I'm gonna give them a bath. Awww fuckit!!! I can't get the hose to reconnect to the spigot. Fuck all this shit!! I hope it rains and floods this shit out!  I need my meds and coffee. Lot's of meds and coffee!

My reason why I have these psycho mood swings: I haven't slept a normal night's sleep in, ohhh, I don't know how long. My aches and pains keep me up so that's nothing new. My meds only work when they feel like it. Could also be that I've been bit by the insomnia bug again.


So I spend my nights surfing the web, looking for funny shit to show y'all. I've found cool web sites and some really awesome recycling ideas. I'm also playing around in Pinterest. That place should be illegal. I spent 5 hours on it one night and didn't know it. It's like being in a time warp.

What I'm reading: I'm waiting for August to come around so I can get the next book from Chloe Neill, "Biting Cold". Until then I'm reading Rachel Caine's Morganville Vampire Series - "Bite Club".
Problem is I read so fast I start over on some of the older books I have just to stay entertained. I really need to go get a library card. I'm running out of shit to read. It's so bad I'm actually watching TV with David at night now. He watches reality TV crap. Like the logger guys and the gator hunters. I don't know the names of this shit, nor do I care.  I just watch it to stay out of trouble.


What I'm listening to: I am an Evanescience fan. Amy Lee is fucking awesome! The lyrics are fucking awesome! Can't say enough. Right now I'm listening to their Fallen CD and it's fucking awesome as usual. I always listen to her CD's at night while surfing the web. 
Check this video.




Have a fucking awesome day my pets.

Recycling Cool Stuff

This recycle idea was way too good to pass up I found this on Paper Jewels . It's so darned easy to figure out by looking at the pictures but if you want to really check it out and other cool stuff go, I give you my blessing my minions.

Water And Dogs

What a dog thinks they look like while playing in the water

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What dogs really look like playing in water

It's Monday

Yes it's the start of another week. It's Monday ... again. *le heavy sigh*
Well here are a few things that will cheer you up about Mondays. That's if you need it.

Mondays are the most likely day for having a heart attack. The attacks may be caused by high stress or high blood pressure. Mostly at the thought of returning to work or facing something highly stressful at work.

Mondays are the least rainiest day of the week.  Because it is believed that the pollution levels are lower on the weekends.

On Mondays over 50% of employees are late for work. It has been found that many people find the start of the week so grim that they become late for work.

Mkay, enough Monday shit. I'm going back to sleep.

Funny Christian Shit

David says I'm going to Christian hell.

I said, "AHAHAHHAhaaaahaaaahaahahahahaaahaaaaahahahahaa,

 oh shit, I think I wet myself again."

X

X

Friday Funny

Such a cute USB Flash Drive. I want this one. 

 AAAHaahahaahahahahaaa!

Bacon, And I Don't Mean Kevin

Yesterday Brandon over at My Own Private Idaho did a post about bacon.  Yes, yes he did.  He said and I quote ... 

"This is a blogging rite-of-passage, brethren.

No blogger is truly complete until they've

dedicated an entire post about this

tasty phenomenon"

So now I need to do my part for the good of the blogging community and post about that tasty, crispy, salty, yummy slice of pig that actually should be in it's own food group. Yes bacon should be in a group of it's own people! Yes, yes it should! It should also have it's own set of rules.

I have a terrible weakness towards bacon. That's one of the reasons why I don't let David buy it when he goes grocery shopping. If it ain't on the list, it ain't in the house. But, if by chance David shows a bit of weakness and brings home the bacon, so to speak. I will fry it up. Every last tasty slice of it will be fried and made into BBLT sammiches. Oh yes! That is double bacon lettuce and tomato. YUM!!

Nuff said!

                                    

Did You Know???

I was flabbergasted! I didn't know this was true. Wow!!

Why Kids Have Droopy Pants

This is the reason why kids today don't pull up their pants.

I rest my case.

It's Monday ... Again

This is kinda weird cause I'm not working, but I still hate Mondays. And yet I love them. It means David will be at work and not at home here bothering me. I love that man to pieces but he bothers the shit out of me when I want to sit outside alone to think or read.

Diet Site Review

I was contacted last year through my email from Christine. She was telling me about a diet site she was working on. Well she just contacted me again and the site is finished.  I went to check it out and it's pretty cool. 


SlimKicker is worth a look because it makes dieting seem like a game. There are challenges you can have against friends or other people on SK. You can rack up points, participate in giveaways and win special prizes. You can keep track of your weight loss, exercise activities, and if you need any help someone will be happy to talk to you. So if you have time go check it out.

Funny Christian Shit

HAHAHAAAHAHAAAAHAAAHAAHAHAAhahahaahahaaaaahahahaaaaaahahaaaahahahaaahahahahaa!!

  I think I wet myself

If You Need Drama In Your Life

Friday Funny

An old man and woman were  married for many years, even though they hated each other. 
Whenever  there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the  night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and  out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your  life!"

 Neighbors feared him.

 They believed he practiced magic  because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.  
The old man liked the fact that he was feared.  To everyone's  relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed  casket at the funeral. 
After the burial, she went straight to the  local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
Her  neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he may  indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of  your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said,

"Let  him dig.  I had him buried face down. 
And I know he won't ask  for directions."

Laundry Ninjas

DISCLAIMER:  In no way were clothes disfigured, unraveled, burned, maimed, shot and/or killed in any way shape or form from said dryer appliance in this blog posting.

I do laundry like about twice a week for David and me. That's on Wednesdays and Sundays. I have no problems with doing laundry except when it comes to the dryer. It's a great dryer. David bought it last year after the one we had finally burned itself out.


But I've noticed that when I put David's polo shirts and his slacks in the dryer they are turned the right way, not inside out. Yet, when it comes time to take these items out of the dryer, the shirts are completely turned inside out, one leg of the pants are also inside out. 


Mkay, next time I'll turn the shirts inside out so they'll be turned the right way when I take them out of the dryer. No way in hell did that happen. They were still the same way I put them in when they finished drying. 


SOOOoooooooo. Yesterday I put them in the right side out instead of inside out. Guess what?! They came out inside out. WTF!!! This is crazy! I told David he needs to do something about the dryer and explained my problem to him. He just laughed and said I probably have Laundry Ninjas. Well that's just fucking great! Before it was Washer Gnomes stealing socks. Now I have Laundry Ninjas! WTF is next!??


I can't handle this. Where's my drugs?

The 10 Internet Plagues

In light of the Ten Commandments that was shown this past weekend I found this to entertain you. I know it's lame but shit, I gotta put something on here today and I'm a lazy bitch. You'll notice it's for the new Isis Pad. So I hope you like them.

10 INTERNET PLAGUES

It's Monday And It Sucks

Well David is home today, still. Yeppers it's a four day weekend for him. The stinker! So most of the day I'll be spending time outside hiding from Maury and Jerry Springer - all fucking day long! The man is crazy for trash TV. I don't get it. What is the attraction? It's so mindless. Sort of like Jersey Shore.


Besides sitting at his desk watching TV in the media room, he plays around with his computer and plays videos and shit so fucking loud that people can hear it down the street. 


I'll find something to do though. I have my Little Hal to keep me company and plenty of blogs to read  and catch up on so I won't get bored.