Monday, I Told You To Fuck Off

SPECIAL NOTE**Just to let everyone know. I found out CBD oil IS legal without a prescription in Texas now. The thing is I didn't know this. So David is going to go get me a bottle of water-soluble CBD this Friday. I do hope this helps me and I will let all y'all know how I'm doing with it. I have heard all kinds of things about it so let's see what it can do for me.**
This is a really late post. Please move on if you have better things to do because this is a bad post. I'll be complaining and this will just bring y'all down, a whole fucking lot. I haven't slept well for the past 4 nights. So much pain in my back, legs, and arms. I'm not sleeping, I'm not eating. I have no appetite and no energy. It hurts to walk, sit, stand or lie down. I'm so tired. I need to rest. I'm having serious doubts about the doctor I went to see. The one that diagnosed me with MCTD - Lupus/RA/Myositis. I still don't think I have lupus. The lab results say it's a very, very mild form of the disease but I still disagree with him. It's not Lupus. It has to be something else so I'm going to challenge his diagnosis when I see him in March. I want more testing if that's what it takes. I want to know what is going on and how to either stop it or cure it if there is a cure. 

It was overcast and cold on Saturday so I tackled the roses in the front yard and pulled weeds. Well, some of it. David later came out and finished what I couldn't. He pulled down some of the vines and knocked down a few hornets nests. He refused to cut the Robinhood rose vines. Too many thorns. He hates roses with thorns. I was in a lot of pain so I went inside and took a hot shower and went to bed early. I think it was around 1:30 in the afternoon or something like that. My brother called and I bullshitted with him on the phone for a while and then I fell asleep and didn't wake up until around 3am on Sunday morning.

I had a butt load of energy and I had to use it up before I lost it so I made a carrot cake that was so damned good. I cut it into serving sizes and then froze it so I could put the slices into individual Foodsaver baggies that I made. I then threw them into the small chest freezer. I made meatloaf, a pot roast, stew, baked 4 chicken breasts, spaghetti, a marinara sauce, macaroni & cheese, and par-cooked some veggies. I sealed everything in individual serving sizes in Foodsaver pouches so that if I should happen to have another bad episode, which I'm having now, today, he will have dinners and desserts for several weeks set up. This is in case I have no energy to cook. Otherwise, everything is taken care of for him. Today I'm taking out a pouch of frozen stew for him. I'm not hungry. After I finish this post I will go take a quick hot shower to make my muscles and joints feel better. I might go lie down for a while too.

Anna took this picture of Lucy
on her phone last week.

So, that is what I'm doing right now. I'll be staying in bed today again with Lucy watching me like a hawk. I wonder what goes through her worried little mind. Like, is she saying mommy don't die? Daddy sometimes forgets us, so please don't die. She has that kind of look on her little face when she is with me. And yes, David does forget them sometimes. Like when I'm stuck in bed or in the hospital, he will forget to let the puppies outside or feed them. I have to remind him, always. Otherwise, I take care of the fur babies. 

Looking out the window in the bedroom. It is cold outside. I want so much to get dressed and go outside and finish any of the yard work. So much to do while the weather is cold. It is the best time to cut back some of our plants right now so that new growth will come in the spring. I'm tired, sleep is calling. Y'all have a magical day.