Old Phone New Phone Red Phone Blue Phone

David bought me a new cell phone and for the past three days, he's been trying to get it online and working. Yeah, we had to get a new 5g because the old one just didn't cut it anymore and Tracfone said we had to update. So we opted for the big ass Motorola. I call it the Beast. It was cheaper than the LG.

So, David has been trying to get the Beast working and get all the bells and whistles that I probably won't ever use like Google Gmail and shit like that in working order. The first problem was my Google password. One of the characters was a % sign. He couldn't for the life of him find it so I had to go in and change my password on my laptop. It was due for the bimonthly change anyways. So I changed it online and wrote it down for him to read it and he got that part working. Then it got close to bedtime so he stopped. That was the end of day one.

Tuesday, after work, he tried to get something working so I could access an app that he put on the Beast. Nope refused to work because he didn't sync the old phone with the new phone first so the new phone refused to work. Bedtime. He said he would try to work on it again tomorrow. 

Wednesday rolled in. He was successful in getting the Gmail account going. ??? Two days and he got one thing working. WTF David???

So after dinner, he was trying to get the passcode to sync the phones. He had trouble reading how he would get the passcode. I asked him why. He said he couldn't read what it wanted. I asked why. He said he couldn't see it. I asked, couldn't see what? He said he couldn't see what the phone wanted him to do to get the passcode. I asked why again and he said he couldn't read it. I threw up my hands in exasperation and went to get my shower.

I came out of the bathroom and asked if he finally got the passcode. He said that he couldn't read what the phone wanted him to do. So I grabbed the Beast and went to settings and brightened the screen. Then I gave it back to him to finish what he was trying to do. He still couldn't read it. So I grabbed the phone and he was right the little "how do you want to receive the passcode" box was a dark blue/green with really dark red lettering. You couldn't really read it. So, I tilted the phone in such a way to block the glare and low and behold the little bastard was asking do you want the passcode to be sent to such and such phone number or do you want it by David's email. I sware I could read it plain as day but David said it wasn't readable. He was right.

He walked off with both my old and the new phones to finish his task mumbling under his breath that not only do I have superhuman nose and hearing abilities that could smell and hear an ant fart in a hurricane but that now I could see a gnat doing a striptease too. He came back three minutes later with both phones and laid the old on top of the new one on the coffee table in front of me and said that they are syncing data, don't separate them until tomorrow. He said he would check on them in the morning to see if everything is kosher.

So, now I'm sitting here, it's 1:29 in the morning. Thursday. I can't sleep even though I took two sleeping pills. A third straight night with only four hours sleep in 66 hours awake and I'm watching my old phone humping the Beast on my coffee table. WTF??? Should I offer them cigarettes when they finish? Is that the protocol?

Side Note: It is 10:09 at this time in the morning and they are still at it. 75% synced. Should I throw water on them?