The cost of living has hit us all really hard.
- My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
- Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
- A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
- I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
- The bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," and you call them to ask if they meant you or them.
- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
- My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so the Church re-possessed her!
- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
- When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now share a room.
- Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
- I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hot line. I got a call center in Pakistan, and, when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, asked if I could drive.
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