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Sunday, August 15, 2010

Graduate Nurses versus Experienced Nurses

  • A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does.
    An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.
  • A Graduate Nurse wears so many pins on their name badge you can't read it.
    An experienced nurse doesn't wear a name badge for liability reasons.
  • A Graduate Nurse charts too much.
    An experienced nurse doesn't chart enough.
  • A Graduate Nurse loves to run to codes.
    An experienced nurse makes graduate nurses run to codes.
  • A Graduate Nurse wants everyone to know they are a nurse.
    An experienced nurse doesn't want anyone to know they are a nurse.
  • A Graduate Nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.
    An experienced nurse writes on the back of their hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.
  • A Graduate Nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
    An experienced nurse will chart the patient is disoriented and restrain them.
  • A Graduate Nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.
    An experienced nurse can't hear any alarms at any distance.
  • A Graduate Nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
    An experienced nurse doesn't want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.
  • A Graduate Nurse spends 2 hours giving a patient a bath.
    An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.
  • A Graduate Nurse thinks people respect Nurses.
    An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.
  • A Graduate Nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
    An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.
  • A Graduate Nurse looks for a chance "to work with the family"
    An experienced nurse avoids the family.
  • A Graduate Nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.
    An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.
  • A Graduate Nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
    An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.
  • A Graduate Nurse always answers their phone.
    An experienced nurse checks their caller ID before answering the phone.
  • A Graduate Nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
    An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.
  • A Graduate Nurse carries reference books in their bag.
    An experienced nurse carries magazines, lunch, and some "cough syrup" in their bag.
  • A Graduate Nurse doesn't find this funny.
    An experienced nurse does.


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