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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Why Men Are Disgusting

A fellow blogger said "I have yet to figure out why men are so disgusting."  Well now, I think it reverts back to caveman days. No... much further than Monday Night Football. This thing with men being disgusting all started with with the first cave man and his wife. Probably before that. Yep definitely before.

I believe it all happened when Ogg and his buddies decided to go off and look for a wife for Ogg. They were the original Neanderthal. The story goes, from what I remember, that they left their wives and took Ogg to go get him a wife up north. They headed out towards Sweden if I'm not mistaken. Which in our day would be the guys going off for a weekend looking for broads in Vegas.

Anywho, to make a long story short, the guys didn't find Ogg a wife up there because none of them were the marrying kind for him. Probably more partial to redheads over in Ireland, which was their next stop. They finally found one... a woman marry and take back home with them.

Ogg and the guys out on a hunting trip.
Now mind you, while the guys were all out gallivanting around with Ogg. The wives of the other guys were out shopping for new clothes and furniture. They invented the wheel which lead to their inventing the car, cell phone, computer, daycare, red high heels, fire, window shopping out with the girls and doing lunch at The Cliff. They also invented health care, plastic surgery, french cooking, soap operas, ballet, hideous bridesmaids gowns, yoga, Brad Pitt, The Housewives of New Jersey, birthdays, and anniversaries.

When the guys came back from their fishing trip, they invented bad car recalls, limited cell phone coverage areas along with high prices for texting, phone sex, computer porn, crotchless panties, HMO's, the mammogram machine, Jerry Springer and Trash TV, all the sports, which lead to us being widows. Farting, smoking, drinking, BBQing, gallivanting around, fishing trips, hunting trips. Oh and they forgot about our birthdays and anniversaries.

So there you have it. I hope that all explains it for you why guys are so disgusting .
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