MY MINIONS

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violence, terrible grammar, gratuitous sex, strong odors, seed porn, and possibly improper French

Monday, March 28, 2011

The Cost Of Living Is Bad



The cost of living has hit us all really hard.
  • My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  • Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
  • CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
  • Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
  • A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
  • I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
  • The bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," and you call them to ask if they meant you or them.
  • Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
  • My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so the Church re-possessed her!
  • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
  • When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now share a room.
  • Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.  Oh Great!  The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
  • I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hot line. I got a call center in Pakistan, and, when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, asked if I could drive.

11 comments:

  1. LMAAAOOOOO!!!!! Thanks! I needed a good laugh today!!

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  2. ROFL!!!!! Heeehehehehhheeeeeh

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  3. "Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries."

    Have you been peeking in my bedroom again?

    Pervy McPervertstein

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  4. You made my day hun! You sure are the funniest woman in know! :-)

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  5. I'm glad I can make y'all laugh. I'm just here for the entertainment.

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  6. I stumbled across your Blog a few weeks ago and now I'm addicted! Yours is the first place I check for new posts each day when I sign in and you never disappoint. Thank you so much for your sense of humor and the ability you have to bring a smile to not only my face, but the many others whose lives you have touched. Keep posting... we'll keep reading and appreciating.

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  7. AaaahahahaSNORThaha... Thanks for the giggle fit... Hope you're doing well. ^-^

    XOXO

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  8. LOL...I almost snorted my chai reading this...too funny. What an awesome uplift after a few dreary/down days.

    xoxo

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  9. ah aha ha ha ha these were positively hilarious! :)

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let 'er rip

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